gerbil runner
-
Posts
1,022 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Downloads
Store
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Blogs
Events
Posts posted by gerbil runner
-
-
I miss my mom, too. She played Christmas music on handbells and guitar. She made crafts for us to enjoy. My dad has taken off his wedding ring, yet seems so lost sometimes.
It hurts. I guess sometimes the only thing you can do is go through the hurt, and hold up the beautiful memories on the other side.
-
He quit smoking 30-40 years ago, and is still judged by it?!
Anyone who has ever be less than "perfectly healthy" (overweight, high cholesterol. etc) should think long and hard about this.
-
I'm so sorry. Hold tight to what you did for your dad, and it will help. He's at peace - may you find comfort in the days ahead.
I have found that having done everything we could for my mother (and her being grateful for our care) makes grieving easier. I pray you will feel the peace of knowing you have helped your dad make the best transistion posssible. He is in paradise - but you will struggle with his loss, and I pray you will feel God comforting you.
-
Just love your dad. Hold his hand and tell him it's ok to go. Remember what you have done to make his passing easier.
Sometimes, letting go is the hardest part. God be with you.
-
I'm so sorry it has come to this. May your dad's passing be peaceful.
-
Glad it's done, Fay. Praying for infection and relief real soon.
-
Yay, Joanie! Glad you're home where you belong. Now get some rest!
-
Prayers going up for Fay. Hang in there, and feel better soon.
-
I found a site which has a good, concise page about the dying process. Go to http://www.hospicenet.org/html/preparing_for.html
Hope this is helpful.
-
I'm so sorry, Troy. How wonderful that you got to spend Christmas with her, though.
Wishing you peace in the days ahead.
-
I'm so sorry, Pat. Wish that words could make you feel better.
-
Bill, I'm sorry your wife is suffering from the WBR, but even though I'm no expert, it sounds like there was an awful lot of "actvity" in many different areas, which would point toward WBR for treatment.
Even so, it seems the dr.'s should have been more upfront about the risks. You probably would have made the same choice, but you would not feel so betrayed now.
-
I'm so sorry, Tina, and I understand. 2005 was that way for me.
But even the worst of years hold golden moments - 2005 was the year I had my gallbladder out in emergency surgery, the year I didn't run at all, the year I started therapy due to depression, the year our business got sued, the year my aunt was diagnosed with sclc, the year my mom got brain mets, and the year my mom died...but it was the year I found out I really do have a big brother, like I always wanted. What a huge gift, what great memories of his 2 trips and reunion with my mom, his birth mother for whom he had searched for 4 years!
No matter how many tears you shed this year, there will be many pearls you keep. Search them out and save them. Take photos, make a family tree, learn the quirky stories of your family. Think of this year as a gift, the year you know you must get all you can into your relationships with your loved ones. So many people are taken by surprise and lose those stories, those "last chance" moments.
And if you're wrong, and everyone in your family enjoys a joyous entry into 2007, think of all the quality time you'll have spent with them
.I hope you are happily surprised by the coming year.
-
I am so sorry...we thought my mom had pancreatic cancer when she was first diagnosed, and my aunt died of it 11 years ago...it's a very grim diagnosis.
Prayers for your family.
-
I'm so sorry, Pat. It sounds much like the way my mom was for the last couple of days.
Think of his peace at this time as evidence that you have done everything, and done it well. Talk to him - I'm sure he still hears you, even if it takes too much energy to respond.
Stay close to him, and call hospice with any questions. PM me if you want to talk about how it may go. Have courage - God will hold your hand as you hold Brian's.
You remain in my prayers.
-
My mom used to have brief "pity pot" sessions, and end them by saying she really shouldn't complain. I used to tell her she had every right to complain; then I'd find something hopeful to say.
Validate the horrible experience your mother is having. Tell her the decisions on treatment are hers - whether it's to stop everything or travel the world in search of "snake oil". Your honest support will give her some strength.
When it comes to cancer treatments, especially for such a tenacious beast as sclc, there is no "right" or "wrong" choice - just the patient's choice.
Make your mom a milkshake in her favorite flavor. Calories are vital. She'll feel better if she drinks a lot of fluids, too.
Spoil her rotten. Why not?
Wish I could say something more helpful. Keep hope alive as much as possible, but put your mother's wishes and comfort at the top of your priorities.
-
I am so very very sorry to read your news.
Keep the camera handy as well as the kleenex. And Pat, know that caring for Brian will be a great source of comfort to you.
A good hospice is a great resource. They have big shoulders and ears.
I pray your Chrismas, while bittersweet, will be mostly sweet.
-
Yes, I remember.
Hope your dad is showing my mom "the ropes" this Christmas.
-
Wouldn't it be nice to make a chemo voodoo doll of your contractor? Something that would give him all your side effects until he does right by you and your house...well, you can dream, can't you?
You're one of the most remarkable people I have ever known. Prayers that your Christmas will be beautiful and your body will heal.
-
Shannon, you've already covered the most important part - love and support your dad no matter what.
For some people, to quit smoking is a Herculean task. My mother also underwent huge psychological difficulties when she quit smoking. In the early 80's, she quit for 9 months. The cravings were gone, but she was depressed, angry, combative and paranoid.
She did quit for good after diagnosis - she had a bleeding lung tumor, and was terrified she would cough and bleed to death (a very real risk).
Your dad needs to be upfront about the smoking - there are medications (antidepressants, not just patches) which can help if he wants to try to quit. Anyone who has severe psychological symptoms with quitting needs an understanding and well-versed doctor to help.
-
It's so hard...prayers for Tom and his family, and you too.
-
Funny, I was wondering yesterday how she was faring. Thanks for the update - she's a special lady.
-
So glad things are looking up for Joanie. She'll be glad whe "wasn't there" for this week.
-
I have to say that even though brain mets took my mother, the WBR did buy her time, and I do not believe it was side effects of the WBR which caused her decline.
Mom had hearing loss and balance problems right after treatment, in addition to the short-term memory problems. However, the hearing and balance problems improved remarkably, and the memory problems also improved. Mom never lost her personality or longer-term memory. She kept her sense of humor.
It was about 6 months after completion of WBR that symptoms began to return - nausea and fatigue mainly. MRI clearly showed regrowth of the original 3 tumors.
Gamma knife did not really improve anything, but there were never any new symptoms. Memory and concentration did not decline. Mom could still play cards when so inclined. She just got weaker and weaker and weaker. She always recognized everyone who visited. My grandmother died of Alzheimer's, so I've seen dementia - my mother definitely did not have dementia of any kind.
SCLC moves so quickly; the most likely scenario was that there was a great deal of cancer activity scattered in a way too small to be picked up on MRI. My dad and I have both seen the MRI's - we are no experts, but there sure didn't look like anything else but tumors. No additional cloudiness outside the tunor sites after WBR.
So - nine months from WBR was what we got. Better than the few weeks without it. Mom never would have reunited with her son had we opted out of WBR. We were well aware of the risks, that Mom would probably be incapacitated within 2 years from treatment. But it was the only way to get any time at all.
Sometimes WBR clearly makes sense, despite the risks. But the doctors owe it to patients and families to make the risks clear. I know many doctors are not as upfront as my mother's were.
.
My mom is gone
in GRIEF
Posted
I'm so sorry. I know it hurts. Hug your daughter, and just keep going.