fighting4mom

We had 3+ years since that day of the diagnosis and we made the most of them. But Momma went to be with the lord on Monday and I will miss her with every fiber of my being. Forever. Shirley J. Smith a resident of The Elms, North Charleston, South Carolina, claimed victory over a courageous battle with cancer and went to be with the Lord on Monday September 3. She was born at home on February 13, 1938 in Frederick County, Maryland to the late Clinton Joseph Brunner and Mae Naomi (Delauter) Brunner. Shirley graduated from Middletown High School in 1956. She was joyful to return to the last class reunion in October, 2011 and still kept in contact with many classmates. She remembered fondly her time on the championship women's basketball team as well.She worked for many years at Price Electric before becoming employed with State Farm Insurance from 1973 until 1998, when she retired. After her retirement, Shirley relocated to North Charleston, SC to be closer to her only child, Kimberly K. Smith-Allen, where she has resided for the past six years. Shirley loved the pool, the beach and the ocean. She never missed an opportunity to spend beach week with her family each summer, always making and sharing some of her favorite recipes passed down from generations.She is survived by her daughter, Kimberly Allen, and son-in-law, Rob Allen, whom she adored. She also leaves behind brothers, Paul D. Brunner and wife Darlene, Kenneth J. Brunner and wife Sue and John T. Brunner and wife Beverly; sisters Kathleen L. Brandenburg, Jean L. Stine and husband Earl, Janice M. Peaslee and husband John K., Carolyn A. Kidd and Sharon M. Simon and husband Bob. She is remembered by Sister- in-Law Bonnie Brunner, the wife of her brother Robert A. Brunner who passed away in 1997. She is also survived by many nieces and nephews, both grand and great and will be remembered fondly by special friends Carol Smith and Sandy Sos.A celebration of her life, will take place on Saturday, September 8, 2012 at 1:00 PM at Rhett Avenue Christian Church, 5103 North Rhett Avenue, North Charleston, SC and an event in the Frederick area to be announced.In lieu of flowers, please make memorial contributions to Cancer or Alzheimer's research. Published in The Frederick News-Post on September 6, 2012

Dear Susan, My sincere condolences to you and your family. I am so sorry to learn this news. Gentle hugs and prayers to you, Kimberly

Hello, Here is our quick update. We visited the oncologist and neurologist and had good news (or not bad news, more accurately) on all fronts. The 'bone spots' are not definitive as cancer ... just too soon to know for sure and too small to get a sample to biopsy; so more waiting and next scans in August. But, more importantly, her burning, pain, etc. is yielding to the drug (Lyrica) she has been taking. So, giving thanks for that! Though, no one can seem to figure out the root cause. This serves as a good reminder not to take any good day for granted! Blessings to you all, Kimberly

thanks ladies! katie, i can truly appreciate what you are saying and that speaks volumes about the benefit of this wonderful place; that we can exchange personal experiences and results is more valuable that i can put into words. together we keep on learning, advocating and fighting the fight. i will take your advice and reach out to dr. west. thank you. thank you all for the support ... i am sending it back with mine to each of you! blessings, kimberly

Thanks for the support and kind words everyone. I have this crazy mindset that I am at more of a loss and am more caught "off guard" then when she was first diagnosed ... geez was that only 10 months ago?!?! I recall the last series of tests and procedures done swiftly and felt like we progressed from the unknown to treatment plan fairly quickly. Well, and the increasing discomfort this time, I feel begs a greater sense of urgency which seems to be lacking. The nerve induction today did show that she has neuopathy in legs - but neuro said that wouldn't explain abdoment sensation/pain. Still very inconclusive – could be a few different things. A nuclear bone test needs to be done (and is being scheduled). Why wouldn't they do a PET? Her oncologist maintains that with no sign of any growth in the original spot, it’s unlikely that a new spot would have formed. Does that ring true or seem like BS to anyone? Anyone else experience this situation (or anything else) 8 months after treatment? It’s very baffling and frustrating and I don't feel like we are any closer to an answer 11 days after her first GP appointment (which was basically useless anyway). On a positive note, she’s been upgraded to Lyrica today so I hope that makes some difference for her discomfort. Thanks for hanging with me! Blessings to you all!

Hello Lungevity Family, After 3 very positive scans (the last being only weeks ago), Mom has been having some discomfort and issues the past few weeks ... actually she alerted me the day we saw the oncologist last (3/30) but said it wasn't bad enough to say anything to him (that's my Mom!). She feels as though she has sunburn pain across her abdomen and clothing brushing against the area causes pain. She also feels a tinge or jolt of sensation now and then - with increasing frequency. Her GP (who I am firing) mis-diagnosed her with ringworm on the 9th and last week we had a follow up visit, went for a consult with a neurologist and had an abdomen and spine MRI. The neurologist reports 2 areas of "concern" on her spine and was to compare this scan with the one she had done in June of last year to see what has changed. Needless to say I am worried and it hurts me that she is in pain and was mis-diagnosed. She has been prescribed neurointin (sp) but that hasn't made any difference in the past 5 days. We go to follow up with the neurologist tomorrow morning. I could use all the positive thoughts anyone can send and any words of advice. Thank you and blessings to you all, Kimberly

Dear Barbara, May these heartfelt wishes for your comfort and strength during this time reach you with the gentle wind. I am so very sorry to read this news. Blessings to you dear lady, Kimberly

Michelle, Thank you for this post! Truly insightful. I know all of us can identify with these words. I almost feel that I have taken a hiatus from my caregiving as Mom has really been her old self these past 4 months - and hopefully, prayerfully will remain so. Blessings to you, Kimberly

Dear Tova, I am so very, very sorry to read this news. I send you gentle hugs and prayers for strength. Please take good care of yourself as you move forward. May the pain lessen. May your heart heal. May sweet memories surround and comfort you. Blessings to you, Kimbelry

Dawn, I'm late but continuing the happy dance for you!! Cheers, Kimberly

Hello Lungevity Family, Just checking in to report on my Mom, though I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how much my heart is hurting from so many of the messages I have read recently. I guess all we can ever do is take it as it comes ... one week, one day, one hour at a time. In Mom's case all is "quiet". She had a low hematocrit -but doc said nothing to do since she is asymptomatic. "are you feeling tired, fatigued, worn out?" he asks. To which she responds "maybe after my morning exercises -- we do a walking type low impact thing in the clubhouse for an hour!" Hmmm - no problem there. So, next CT check is Dec. 28 and f/u with doc on the 31st. I hope to be ringing in 2010 with Mom and this dam^ disease in quiet mode and with continued prayers that someone, somewhere can find a cure, a breakthrough, a miracle so that none of us have to be worried about what may be around corner (not borrowing trouble ... just acknowledging), while waiting for the next 3-month scan. Blessings to you all, Kimberly

Dear Lily, I pray you will be comforted and warmed by your truly special memories. What a great love story, what eloquence you have. Blessings to you, Kimberly

Dear Tova, My heart is breaking for you. My prayers and hugs to you for strength and the ability to perservere. Curse this d@mn disease!!!! Blessings, Kimbelry

Hi Tova, I wanted to add my words and thoughts of support of your, your Mom, your family and the continued fight. I admire your strength and your love and your support for your Mom! Best wishes as you continue on this rollercoaster and here's wishing that Provigil brings your Mom back to you. Blessings, Kimberly

Hi Lil, I think this is the poem...clearly feelings that you are identifying with. Blessings to you during this difficult time! The Elephant in the Room, by Terry Kettering There's an elephant in the room. It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it. Yet we squeeze by with "How are you?" and "I'm fine" ... And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather. We talk about work. We talk about everything else - except the elephant in the room. There's an elephant in the room. We all know it is there. We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together. It is constantly on our minds. For, you see, it is a very big elephant. It has hurt us all. But we do not talk about the elephant in the room. Oh, please say her name. Oh, please say "Barbara" again. Oh, please, let's talk about the elephant in the room. For if we talk about her death, Perhaps we can talk about her life. Can I say "Barbara" to you and not have you look away? For if I cannot, then you are leaving me Alone ... In a room ... With an elephant.

Dear (((((Tova))))), I echo the sentiments in responses so far - and know that I can not say any better what has already been said. Though I have not had your experiences, I fear that one day I may .... I read your entries and I learn from you. May you be comforted to know what a role model you are and may the prayers and warm hugs coming your way, lessen your pain to some degree. Blessings, Kimbelry

Tova, i've just been catching up on your roller coaster of the past few weeks and am saying prayers for your Mom. I think you described what role you Mom's pulm should play perfectly -- he should be in reserach and not an actual practitioner (no slight to Cat127 here on the board!) hopefully this rx induced fog will clear, her strength will return and the actual test will now show anything more alarming. my prayers and hugs to you, kimberly

Tova, that sounds almost exactly like Mom's response. She said 'how is that stuff supposed to make you hungry when it tastes like s&!* !! I have been reading your updated thread ... sending you hugs and prayers!

Tova, that sounds almost exactly like Mom's response. She said 'how is that stuff supposed to make you hungry when it tastes like s&!* !! I have been reading your updated thread ... sending you hugs and prayers!

Dear Michelle, In concert with all of these wonderful folks here, I send to you my deepest sympathy and condolences on your loss. I am sending special prayers and hugs your way right now. I hope they are reaching you. You are an inspiration and a role model. Reading your posts over these months has been such a joy and source of inspiration for me. Your resilience, tenacity and strength always shined through, but it was never so overwhelming that I couldn’t see what a beautiful, kind and loving person you truly are. You and your husband were in the fight of his life and I truly believe that you gave it everything you had – and then some. I agree with the others that you should not feel guilty – or not feel any sense that you didn’t do absolutely everything in your power. We know you did. We also know, though that there are stages of grief in this process and – though not an official stage – some sense of guilt and wonder gets weaved it. I hope you don’t wonder, however, if you did enough, if you cared enough or if you tried enough … you did. You really, really did. You have an amazing love story with amazing warm and happy memories. Thank you for sharing some. Thank you for coming here during this darkest time. I wish I had some words of wisdom or magic spell to make all your pain (and caner while I am at it) go away. I can offer you my prayers and my virtual hugs and the knowledge that you have touched my heart and I grieve with you. Blessings to you and your family, Kimbelry

powerful stuff; thank you for posting! I truly believe in the power of a positive attitude and prayer.

Calintay, Great - but late - birthday wishes to your Mom ... and here's to many, many, many, many more. Best, Kimberly

Dear Kristi, I am wishing you strength and hugs as you work through this most difficult time. May happy memories and the warmth of your Father's spirit be with you and your family. Blessings to you, Kimberly

Hi Kelli, I'm sorry too that there is a need to welcome you to this family. I have been supporting and caring for my wonderful Mom over the past few months as we battle this demon. I am her only child. I know you will find - as I did - a wealth of information, truly caring and comforting people and a good outlet when you need to vent. Best advice that I can share - fight strong, pray a lot and show your loved ones how much they mean to you every day. Blessings, Kimberly

Dear Connie, I truly enjoyed reading your story of inspiration and fight! I admire your determination and strength and appreciate your sharing with us. May you continue to be blessed! Kimberly