lilyjohn Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Now that I have told the whole story of the days leading up to Johnny's death I want to appologize. Not for telling his story but for causing offense to anyones senses or frightening them. That is not my intention. I just want people to be aware. So many of the things that not only led to Johnny's death but caused us both torment that even my vivid discription can not show completely should never have taken place. Had one person been as insistant as I am to tell his story maybe what heppened to him would have never taken place. Had people been aware would they have dared to do some of the things they did? I still have many questions about Johnny's diagnosis of lung cancer but that is not what really matters any more. The fact is that he had been diagnosed with it right or wrong. It was that diagnosis that caused the problems. I have learned much in the last two years. Once a person is diagnosed with lung cancer the attitude toward them changes. No matter how well they handle treatment or how well they respond to it they are still seen as a disease, a non person. Things are done to them and things said to them that would never be said to anyone with any other disease. It is that attitude that destroys lives if it takes them or not. Most people shy away from learning about lung cancer because of that attitude. When they are forced to face it because it has hit either themselves or someone they love they have to learn as much as they can as fast as possible. In my case I had no one to learn from. Everthing was trial and error. Mostly error on my part as well as others. It has become my lifes work to do all I can to change that deadly attitude. If I step on some toes along the way or offend someone senses I am very sorry. That will not stop me. Our story is one that needs to be told. If somehow one person is spared some of the torment that Johnny and I faced I will consider it well worth the effort. In the recent election we heard so much about morals. I find so much of that hipocritical. When I filed complaints about Johnny's treatment by Jump his behavior was excused because he claimed that treating Johnny when he would not sign a DNR went agains his morals. Still his morals and ethics allowed him to harrase and abuse Johnny's rights. People who cry about how precious life is when talking about abortion turn their back and allow things to happen like they did to Johnny and no one is held accoutable. Where is the morality in that? So I tell our story every chance that I get. I may drive people away because no one wants to face the reality that I live with. If that is the case so be it. All I can do is plug on and hope that maybe someday just one person will be spared some of the torment that Johnny and I went through. When that day comes something will at last come from his death besides this terrible agony that torments my soul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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