lung cancer/alcohol/nicotine???

[Guest]

To make a long story short. My boyfriend was diagnosed with stage IB NSCLC adenocarcinoma poorly differentiated.

What I want to know is, what is the association with someone that drinks nightly. 10 beers + hard liquor. Plus hes started using snuff or whatever its called. He quit smoking 4 years ago, but just recently started rubbing after his surgery. I worry that hes on a road of self destruction!! I can't stand watching him do this to hisself. I know he doesn't want to die, but I feel that nicotine itself is bad for his cancer???? Does anyone know what doctors say about this??? What about alcohol?? They've already found a 7mm spot on his liver, but is just gonna watch it.. Unless it grows they planned to do nothing about it. They ""think"" its just a cyst. He is getting a pet scan this coming thursday, which I hope will show what that spot is.

Last night his son had a 18th b-day party and my boyfriend drank till 6:30am this morning. Needless to say I got no sleep at all. I worry about him, plus his son was so drunk by 11:30pm I had to help him to bed. His dad ended up partying with his sons friends. His daughter and her friend decided to bring 2 of the boys in the house and thought they could just put out the sofa bed in the family room and sleep with them, her and her friend. I kind of ruined their party by making the boys leave the house. We live on a big farm and the boys were suppose to be up at the camp site on the hill, but we had a rain storm and power went out... At 3:30am I made the boys leave. Which in turn his daughter went off on me and told me she wished I was dead. and that I was gonna leave even if I had to leave dead... She always blows off when she doesn't get her way.She also said she was gonna smash my windows in my car. She tried to get me to fight her I told her sorry but I wasn't fighting with her. She called me names for not fighting with her. I won't say what. Her dad made her madder because he agreed with me over it and said to her do you think I condone this type of behavior..( She just flunked out of college. with 5 F's in the past 2 quarters...) I feel like I'm going crazy. Here my boyfriend has cancer and I feel that no one takes this serious some times but me. I know my boyfriend does, but he continues to drink and rub snuff. I won't ask him to quit, I'm not that way. I don't witch at him for what he does. I feel it has to be his decision. not mine. His daughter makes our life hell. But especially since hes been diagnosed with cancer, he even lets her get by with more stuff than ever. I never even told him everything she said to me last night. I feel that he has enough to deal with her, without me telling him all of that. I'm not scared of her, I just respect him too much to upset him. Most the time all he does is sleep anyways, except for at night when he drinks. I guess I'm just blowing off steam. I don't really have too many people to talk to about this.. I did talk to a mutual friend of ours about it today. She knows how his daughter is. The day he got home from the hospital, she got mad because he wouldn't give her 7 bucks for the movies, I had already gave her 80.00 while he was in the hospital. She was suppose to use to get to school and back so she could visit him in the hospital, but she only came once to see him for about 10 minutes. Just long enough to get more money. But She got mad at him and told him to f_ _ _ Off! and left and we didn't hear from her for 2 weeks.She did this right in front of company that was there to see my boyfriend. I don't understand why he puts up with her behavior. He raised his kids because his ex didn't want the kids. I have never tried to tell her what to do, but this is my home too and I feel that I have the right to say something about the boy thing last night. I get along great with his 18 year old son. We have a very good realationship. I don't know I'm just so miserable today. I worry about him, and don't know how to handle things!! His daughter is almost 20. I feel that I have enough to worry about without having to worrying about a bunch of young kids running up and down the stairs in the middle of the night and worrying about girls and boys thinking our home is a place for them to lay out!!!

I'm sorry to come here and use this site for blowing off!! Thank God this is the first time for such a horrible night!!! I don't think I could handle this same situation again. I kept my cool, but I'm boiling today!!!!!!!!!!!

[kimblanchard]

Dear dear friend,

You have come to the right place for some comfort. You have got to get ahold of your situation. Alcohol is taking all reason away from the people you are dealing with. Your boyfriend is scared and in denial and is dealing with his diagnosis with alcohol. I pray that you will continue to come here for support and keep a level head. What can we do to help you? Please keep posting.

Blessings to you dear,

Peg