Laughable Newspaper Headlines

[Leslie221]

Actual Newspaper Headlines

·Would She Climb To The Top Of MR. Everest Again? ABSOLUTELY! -The Houston Chronicle

· Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

· Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

· Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

· Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

· Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

· Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

· Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

· Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

· British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

· Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

· Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

· Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

· Miners Refuse to Work after Death

· Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

· Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

· War Dims Hope for Peace

· If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

· Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

· Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

· Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

· Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

· Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

· New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

· Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

· Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

· Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

· Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

· New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

· Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

· Eye Drops off Shelf

· Squad helps Dog Bite Victim

· Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

· Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

· Stolen Painting Found by Tree

· Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

· Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

· Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

· Deer Kill 17,000

· Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

· British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

Ban on Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

[Frank Lamb]

Those are good.