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Healing Time

Kel M

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Hi there,

Just checking in with a little stream of consciousness... Mom died 7 weeks ago today and in some respects it feels like a lifetime ago.

I'm starting to come out of the state of having to be on the go constantly and living on adrenalyne. What's left is a very tired young lady - which I suppose is to be expected. I've put on some weight, too - not good!!! I'm back at the gym working out and toning down on the carbs and sugar to get things turned around again - wish me luck.

I have ups and downs - Though I'm able to focus really well at work, the evenings are proving long - thank goodness for mind-numbing television and trashy novels. Keeping a journal has been good for me, too - when the thoughts really bubble over I just start writing them down - a really useful outlet.

I constantly talk to Mom, too. I imagine with time my need to talk to her photo will lessen. Right now it helps me cope. I also ask myself a lot of questions like - what's she doing right now? Is she whole somewhere? Is she simply energy? Can she see me? Is she watching me? All of it a part of the grieving process, I'm sure. A need to rationalize the event, no doubt.

Still, it's a sad time. We packed up Mom's summer clothes on the weekend and donated them to a women's shelter. It kind of made me realize that even though Mom has died, we still have so much compared to others.

Which kind of brings me in a roundabout fashion to the point of this post - this is a healing time for me. And healing, like grieving, is full of twists and turns.


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I can relate to every word you said.... Dad has been gone 7 months and I still wonder about him every day. I guess in a way its a good thing, it means we had wonderful and close relationships with our parents. I don't have any "magic" words of advice for you, just wanted to know that your post hit a chord in my heart, we are walking on the same path. I wish you peace. Love, Sharon

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Guest Lensiedel

Hi Kel,

Seven weeks for me today too, as you know. I'm doing some of the same things you are, talking to him, writing to him, trying to read as a distraction. I continue to fall deeper into grief, but I believe that someday the healing will come. I think of you very often. Losing a mother is so difficult. Good luck with those extra pounds! (I haven't even begun to deal with the extras I gained while Bruce was sick) You are in my prayers.


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