Kel M Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Hi there, Just checking in with a little stream of consciousness... Mom died 7 weeks ago today and in some respects it feels like a lifetime ago. I'm starting to come out of the state of having to be on the go constantly and living on adrenalyne. What's left is a very tired young lady - which I suppose is to be expected. I've put on some weight, too - not good!!! I'm back at the gym working out and toning down on the carbs and sugar to get things turned around again - wish me luck. I have ups and downs - Though I'm able to focus really well at work, the evenings are proving long - thank goodness for mind-numbing television and trashy novels. Keeping a journal has been good for me, too - when the thoughts really bubble over I just start writing them down - a really useful outlet. I constantly talk to Mom, too. I imagine with time my need to talk to her photo will lessen. Right now it helps me cope. I also ask myself a lot of questions like - what's she doing right now? Is she whole somewhere? Is she simply energy? Can she see me? Is she watching me? All of it a part of the grieving process, I'm sure. A need to rationalize the event, no doubt. Still, it's a sad time. We packed up Mom's summer clothes on the weekend and donated them to a women's shelter. It kind of made me realize that even though Mom has died, we still have so much compared to others. Which kind of brings me in a roundabout fashion to the point of this post - this is a healing time for me. And healing, like grieving, is full of twists and turns. Kel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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