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Emergency Landing

Frank Lamb

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Two guys were sitting in a bar getting really drunk. After awhile,

just drinking gets boring, so the first guy looks at the second guy

and says, "Hey, you want to go up for a ride in my airplane?"

The second guy says, "Wow, you have an airplane? Let's go!"

So they get some more beer and go for a tour around the city in the

plane. Eventually they get bored with this too, so they decide to

land. The drunk pilot starts circling around looking for a place to

land, and he sees an airstrip close by. He says to his new buddy along

for the ride, "Let's land here. It looks like it's as good a place as


So he circles around and goes in for a landing, but at the last

minute he swerves and pulls back up. "shi_!" he says, "That is the

SHORTEST runway I have ever seen! How is anyone supposed to

land on it?" But since it's the only runway nearby, he decides to try

again, with the same result.

Getting pretty irritated, the pilot says to his friend, "All right,

I'm going to try ONE more time, and if I can't land it we're just

going to crash and hope we don't die." So they end up crashing, and

miraculously neither is hurt.

When they crawl out of the wreckage, the first guy swears

and gesticulates wildly at the runway. "I'm gonna find whoever

designed this crazy runway and wring his neck! He must be a total moron!

No one could land on anything that short runway!"

The second guy looks around and says "Yeah, but look how wide it


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