mainecoon Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 Man, just when you think you have it pretty well all wrapped, things come undone. I go to the bank today for the fourth time to assume control of my wife's paltry checking account. Unfortunately the woman I'd been dealing with is on vacation, and no one seems to know where her papers are located. Could I come back another time? OK. No big deal. I work for the government myself, so I know how that goes. The problem came when I sat down and started going through the mail my wife received during the last thirty days of her life. The realization that despite the inevitability of doom and her approaching extinction she still tried to be responsible for what she regarded as her own obligations. This awareness started ongoing spasms of sobbing I can barely control. Then I saw the notice that she was being referred to a collection agency for a thirty dollar bill. And the customer satisfaction survey from the hospital in which she'd spent six weeks without them finding any kind of cancer. I howled. When my tears ran dry I just sat there gasping loudly. I still can only control myself with a great deal of will. I have a dental appointment to go to in a couple of hours. I've got to get it together. I watched a video the other day, that thing with Bruce Willis called 'Tears of the Sun'. I discovered that crying can be just as contagious as laughter. Anyway, he has a line toward the end, when he tells one of the characters he can't break down. He's got to "cowboy up". I took a liking to that phrase. There are times when we all have to pull it together and handle the situation, when we have to "cowboy up." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 I like the phrase and I live it every day. Take care. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolsdaughter Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 I watched my father go through very much the same thing. You have a remarkable attitude. Then pain will come and we can't stop it. When we accept it for what it is we are blessed. I am listening to you. Hugs, Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 I have been going through the list of things that my wife and I must co-own, because it make it that much easier when the time comes. (States vary, so check your local state.) All my stocks and bons are co-owned now, as well as all our real property. Bank accounts are now all joint accounts, and my wife knows where my will is located. These are things we don't think about and I like the collection account. I have one of those to take care of as well, of course, it's with a hospital. Whatever happened to the courtesy phone call before it went to the collection agency. They propabably won't let you pay it off because it's not in your name. Write "Deceased" across it and tell them to get in line. Oh, what happened to common sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 It seems like many of us have been doing the "cowboy up" thing lately. I had to do it myself today. I found an undeveloped disposable camera in Dennis's van today. I took it right away to get it developed, as I had forgotten what was on the film. When I got the pictures back, I almost died. There was a beautiful picture that I had taken of my wonderful husband the last time we had gone fishing together...about last July or early August!!! The picture was wonderful....he still looked so healthy at this point. Who could have imagined in just four months he would be gone? The remaining pictures were ones he had taken of some jobsites...he was a plumbing contractor. Today I sold the last of his vans and that is also hard. It was so hard to see his personal van driven off a couple of weeks ago. I can go a few days and be OK and then have a little thing like this hit and I fall like a ton of bricks! God bless and care for us all!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea B. Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 I am so sorry for your pain. You are doing a great job making it through each day. I love the phrase "cowboy up". It is what I feel I do on many occasions, so now I have a saying to use. Take care of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna D Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 "Cowboy Up," Wow, that is a great phrase. It is so true when you lost someone that was so close to you. I myself, find I need to "cowboy up" many times during the day, Right now for instance. I pray each day that I get through a little better than the last. You too are doing the same, you are not alone. We all miss the day to day little things that went on, as hard as some of those last days were. My heart is with you. Dona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debaroo Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 "Cowboy up", Wow. It really is so eloquant. It really does put it all into emotional perspective. So, Maincoon, "cowboy up", but just remember, that when you can't...we're here for you. Now 'git . Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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