Embarassing Moments....

[Ann]

Embarrassing Moment

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent

>that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some

>months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.

>Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that

>I

>would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a

>small

>diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With

>miles

>to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I

>reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had

>consumed three large orders of baked beans.

>All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my

>arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:

>"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me

>and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he

>was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise

>not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

>

>The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure

>was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room

>I

>seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It

>was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over

>a

>skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and

>fanned

>the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I

>ripped

>off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my

>ears

>carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like

>this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.

>

>

>When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my

>freedom,

>I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on

>my

>lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased

>with

>myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband

>returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked

>through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he

>removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table

>chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

>

>

>I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!