Ann Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 Embarrassing Moment One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent >that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some >months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. >Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that >I >would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a >small >diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With >miles >to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I >reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had >consumed three large orders of baked beans. >All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my >arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: >"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me >and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he >was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise >not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. > >The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure >was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room >I >seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It >was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over >a >skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and >fanned >the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I >ripped >off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my >ears >carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like >this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. > > >When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my >freedom, >I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on >my >lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased >with >myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband >returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked >through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he >removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table >chorused: "Happy Birthday!" > > >I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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