Old Age Funnies .....

[Ann]

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well

dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel

smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well

looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.

Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties).

The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a

sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

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An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number

of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted

for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the

doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that

you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet.

I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after

eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out

to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very

highly. The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of

that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red

and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen

and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?

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Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.

However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly

gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his

feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to

the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom

changing out of her hospital gown."