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The Irishman (a few days late, okay?)

cindi o'h

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A married Irishman went to the confessional and told his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman, Father."

"What do you mean you 'almost' had an affair?"

"Well, we got undressed and we started to rub against each other, but then I stopped."

The priest said, "Well, rubbing against her like that is the same thing as putting it in. There is no difference. You're not to see that woman again! And for your penance, you shall say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The Irishman left the confessional, knelt to say his prayers, then walked over to the poorbox. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest who had been watching from a distance, ran over to him and said, "Hey! I saw that! You didn't put any money into the poorbox!"

The Irishman replied, "That's right, Father. I didn't put any money in. But, I rubbed $50 on the side of the box and according to you that's the same as putting it in!"

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