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Lyposuction at home

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.........I SWEAR I saw a web-site advertising "Lyposuction at home".

Now, let's just imagine what that might be like. Here girly, rise up & lay yourself down upon this kitchen butcher block island, leave your knickers on the floor & grab that turkey baster on your way up. OK, h-mmmm, directions indicate, using your freshly washed pickle picker-upper, you should place 4 small puncture wounds near your abdominal cavity, being certain to make two holes directly across from one another on each side of your navel...IF that is, you can see your navel. Hold a large sized collander over the punctures in the event gobs of blubbery fat run out before you can stick the turkey baste thingy in to suck the fat out. Now, once the baster thing is in the hole, squeeze the rubbery part & exhale the excess servings of Cheetos, hot buttered popcorn, cheese cake with chocolate drizzles, butter pecan icecream, heaps of sour cream laden mashed potatoes & 3-cheese chicken alfredo.

Wash hands & the top of butcher block island when finished.

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