DH is exhausted taking care of his mother

[Guest bellard]

He insists on doing virtually everything and won't let anyone else help. Some things - like making her scrambled eggs for breakfast - I could easily do, but he just says no and does it. He can't keep this pace up - no sleep, working f/t, taking care of his mother's businesses. What can I do to make him understand he needs to accept others' help? I am truly worried....

[RandyW]

I personally think there are many things at work in his mind. maybe a little guilt, a little fear, throw in some apprehension about what will happen next. The best thing I can tell you right now is that this takes a team, not just one person. Husband has to take care of himself in order to take care of others. that is a Cardinal rule of caretaking. All this running around trying to do everything will knock him out if he does not stop and get help with everything. If you make and have made the offer to help with anything and everything, I am not sure of what else you can do except wait because this pace will catch up with him, and then he will be laid up recuperating from exhaustion and heaven knows what else. keep offering assistance If he drives mom to appointments and he is exhausted he risks an accident driving an d injury to himself and mom and others. He needs to rest and accept your help

[tnmynatt]

I think I would try helping with things not related to your MIL, e.g taking out the trash, paying bills...whatever you can help with that he normally does...take the other load off of him if possible. Some of the busyness may be so he doesn't have to think about her illness and the future, etc. Hope and pray he realizes his need for help soon. Take care.