message for Janet W

[lilyjohn]

Janet

First of all let me say that I am sorry that you have reason for being here. The truth is that you do have reason and no amount of anger is going to change that. Anger and fear are two of things that are a part of the process of cancer. Anger can do two things it can either make you quit and complain about the ones who make you angry or it can make you take action. I think that tho you say you have given up you are far from that. If you had you would not be on this site that contains the words"Survivers and Change" in it's title.

From what you say it sounds like you are a woman who has had to fight and fight hard to get to where you are now. You did that to survive. I know where you are comming from because my whole life has been an almost day to day battle to have the things I need just to live. I am here because I chose to make that fight the same as you have. You are now facing the fight of your life because it is your life. But there is one thing that you need to start seeing. It is not just your life! It is the life of your children and everyone who loves you. I lost both my mother and the man I have loved for most of my life to lung cancer. I would trade everything I own even the clothes that I am wearing if it would bring either of them back to me. Money is a very cold partner. It can not hold you when you are cold or comfort you when you cry. If you would ask your children or your family what they would rather have you or money I have no doubt that they would say you. If you don't fight for your life you are letting them down.

The people on this board are all survivers. I don't care if it is just one month or 18 years they have surviuved and they didn't get here by quiting. They got here because they were willing to fight to live. It takes a lot more courage to fight than it does to quit. Their loved ones still have them. They don't have to cry themselves to sleep everynight. They don't have to question themselves everyday wondering if they could have done something to change the situation and have the one they love still with them. I know how that is. I live with that every day of my life. My man didn't get the chance to fight. I am so angry too but I use that anger to try to make changes in the system that failed him. You can do that too. It will not change until we make it change. Attitude makes the biggest difference and I don't mean just the attitude of the patient. I mean the attitude of the public in general. The same attitude that you are displaying saying that cancer is a killer and unbeatable. That attitude kills not just the cancer.

You say that you will trust God and you don't want to hear anything else that anyone says telling you that maybe God has plans for you but you need to take part in them. I trust God and I have had times in the last year when I was so angry with him but I know it was not him but that very negative attitude that took my Johnny from me. If doctors were not intended to have the knowledge to treat cancer they would not have it. I firmly believe in the old saying "God helps them who help themselves".

As far as statistics go those are just numbers not individual people. I have heard a lot of frightening statistics but none as low as the ones you said 2%. I think you will find that is an error. At any rate statistics are made to be changed. When people start thinking of cancer as a disease that tho hard to beat it can be curable I believe those statistics will change drastically for the better.

So I say to you show that courage that it took to raise two children alone. Prove the statistics wrong. Don't be selfish. Think of your children and other loved ones. Don't leave them with a hole in their hearts for the rest of their lives. Do you want them to think that you loved them so little that you would not fight to live so you can raise them? Give yourself and them a chance. Fight to live and then fight the system. You have two very big fights ahead of you if you chose to do that but believe me it will be worth the effort. God Bless and guide you. When the anger dies and the fear that causes it subsides a little,read the posts found here. They will help and inspire you. Let us all work to make cancer just another word not a word that spreads such terror! Lillian

[kimblanchard]

I have 4 children, not two - I appreciate your thoughts but I am not responsible for getting to where I have gotten in life - All the years I tried, I failed, and it was only when I turned to God that things turned around and turned around in a big way. All the good things that have ever come to me have not been because of me, but because of God's kindness and mercy.

I truly don't expect any turn around in this disease unless it comes from God. I don't think man has any capability in this - my uncle died of it, my father died of it and I"m cut of the same cloth as they. The treatment killed dad.

I have 4 children to live for and the fact that I enjoy life. I have nobody else and they are plenty - I just pray God will let me live to raise them.

I think this is a matter of where I put my faith - in God, who has never let me down, or in man, who I've already seen lie to my father, my friend, taking their money , promising them much, and them dying anyway.

If God heals me, it will be to His glory and it will be something I will never shut up about. If He doesn't, I will be filled with sorrow until the end.