lilyjohn Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 I guess I'll ask for a hall pass though I'm not sure I need to sense I post so seldom now but just in case anyone wonders. I'm leaving Saturday morning. I'll spend a few days with my cousins in Bakersfield then on to Louisiana to spend Christmas and New Years with my family. This will be the first Christmas without Denis and my children and grandchildren really need me to be there for them. I'll be gone until January 8th. I'm really looking forward to being with my family for the holidays and being there when my first great grandchild is born. At the same time I have that old dread of leaving my home and belongings behind for so long. There is a place comming up this way when you get to the top of the mountain and look down on Whiskeytown Lake and all of the mountains that surround it. Each time I see that my heart swells and tears come to my eyes. Only a person who is born in sight of the mountains and spent years away could understand how I feel. Tomorrow is the 4th aniversary of that last heartbreaking day of my Johnny's life. Then Saturday morning at 4:55 it will be 4 years that he was taken from me. I don't think those days will ever pass that I don't relive the things that happened each of those last two weeks, especially from that Thanksgiving November 28th, 2002 until his death. Part of me was hoping that planing my trip now would keep those memories at bay and another part of me never wants to forget. It is important that I remember. Those memories are filled with the pain but also the love and they have shaped the life I live now. A life that is not perfect but one that gives me contentment. I got two very special signs from my Johnny today. Walking Misty tonight we were escorted by about 30 robins. They stayed close the whole walk. This morning I was looking for an extra car key. I wanted to defrost my windows and am always afraid of locking my keys in so I found the extra key. It was in a pocket on my check book cover. Inside that pocket I found something else and have no idea how it got there. I found a guitar pick. What could speak more of my Johnny? So like always I feel that he sees the worse days and sends me something to let me know that he is watching. That really helps. I will still check in here from time to time while I am gone. I just want to make sure to wish all of you a peacefull Christmas and all the good news and joy that the season can bring. I still believe in miracles. My favorite Bible passage is "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son."What gift could be greater than that? It is the most important Christmas message. God bless you all. Lillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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