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Well it's nearly a week from the first year diagnosis of my Dad's lung cancer. I'm not being negitive, it's just not a great memory to remember that week. It was all a panic for me, tracking down his brother's who he wrote off years ago. Telling the kids and wondering where he'd live since he couldn't be on his own anymore. That was a world of uncertainty and panic ........ it was a week!

To think a year has gone by and he's no worse for the wear now today ... alot of extra aches and pains. It hasn't been established that he wouldn't have that right now anyway regardless of the addition of lung cancer to the list of ailments.

It's just turning out to be a crap year so far .... everywhere else! A dear friend died at 39yr's old from a heartattack and lingered for two weeks. My brother in law is near a nervous break down (complete with suicidal thoughts) curtiousy of his "phsyco" X-girlfriend. My husband is worried daily and jumping at the phone after 10pm. My sister T-boned a car driven by a drunk driver. She's OK but is frantically worried about the little girl with sore ribs in the other car. My Dad will freat over all the "what if's" of the accident in silence ...

All this within the first month of the year! January! I tell you, I'm seeing all these things and thinking ......... none of this can be good! How does it all relate to my Dad?

He's Manic Depressive .... I had an accident where everyone was fine, but the idea of the "what if's" threw him into a Manic state. At that time he didn't rely on medication for his heart, definately didn't have lung cancer, and definately didn't have an unknown stomach/digestive problems. And it was one of the worst episodes we ever had with him ........

I'm not predicting .... I do this so if the bad comes knocking I'm not surprised and able to be functionable. And if it's all good ... it's actually GREAT. But really with all this in a month??? It's not that hard to wonder what will come next.

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