Ann Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Thank God I'm a Southern woman....Ann Southern women appreciate their natural assets:Clean skin.A winning smile.That unforgettable Southern drawl. Southern women know their manners:"Yes, ma'am.""Yes, sir.""Why, no, Billy! "Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :"Y'all come back!""Well, bless your heart.""Drop by when you can.""How's your Momma? "Southern women know their summer weather report:HumidityHumidityHumidity Southern women know their vacation spots:The beach,The rivuh,The crick Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:Colorful hi-heel sandalsStrapless sun dresses Iced sweet tea with mint Southern women know everybody's first name:Honey,Darlin', Shugah Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:Fried Green Tomatoes,Driving Miss Daisy,Steel Magnolias,Gone With The Wind, Southern women know their religion:Baptist,Methodist,Football Southern women know their country breakfasts:Red-eye gravy,GritsEggs,Country ham Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:Chawl'stnS'vanahFoat Wuth, N'awlins,Addlanna Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:Men in uniform,Men in tuxedos,Rhett Butler Southern girls know their prime real estate:The Mall,The Country Club,The Beauty Salon Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:Having bad hair or nails,Having bad manners, Cooking bad food More Suthen-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them._____ Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,peas,beans, etc., make up "a mess."_____ Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of"yonder."_____ Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going totown, be back directly."_____ Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for thewhite, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table._____ All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well._____ Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowlofcold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!_____ Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mileor 20._____ Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash._____ No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn._____ A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb._____ Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're"in line," . we talk to everybody!_____ Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage._____ In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural._____ Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them._____ Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food._____ When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know youare in the presence of a genuine Southerner!_____ Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened."Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk._____ And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ...and go your own way._____ To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:Taketwo tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.Bless your heart!_____ And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!_____ And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a longtime, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could." Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah ! Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could!__._,_.___ _________________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.