God Bless the Southern Women - Long But Worth It

[Ann]

Thank God I'm a Southern woman....Ann

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:Clean skin.A winning smile.That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:"Yes, ma'am.""Yes, sir.""Why, no, Billy!

"Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :"Y'all come back!""Well, bless your heart.""Drop by when you can.""How's your Momma?

"Southern women know their summer weather report:HumidityHumidityHumidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:The beach,The rivuh,The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:Colorful hi-heel sandalsStrapless sun dresses Iced

sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:Honey,Darlin',

Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their

hearts:Fried Green Tomatoes,Driving Miss Daisy,Steel Magnolias,Gone With The Wind,

Southern women know their religion:Baptist,Methodist,Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:Red-eye gravy,GritsEggs,Country ham Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:Chawl'stnS'vanahFoat Wuth, N'awlins,Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:Men in

uniform,Men in tuxedos,Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:The Mall,The Country Club,The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3

deadly sins:Having bad hair or nails,Having bad manners, Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them._____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,peas,beans, etc., make up "a mess."_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of"yonder."_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going totown, be back directly."_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for thewhite, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table._____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well._____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowlofcold potato salad. If the

neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be

1 mileor 20._____

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the

difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash._____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn._____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb._____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're"in line," . we talk to everybody!_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage._____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural._____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them._____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food._____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know youare in the presence of a genuine Southerner!_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened."Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk._____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You

just say,"Bless her heart" ...and go your own way._____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:Taketwo tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.Bless your heart!_____

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have

classes on Southernness as a second language!_____

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a longtime, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are

fahevah ! Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could!__._,_.___

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