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Moms Birthday


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hi all, i almost never go to bed without checking into this site.....i have the best of the best wishes for everyone!

My mom died (how awful that sounds) 2 months ago today (yesterday, actually since its after midnight) and we were thinking of what to do for her upcoming birthday on March 31st. we were thinking of celebrating with cake and etc like usual but this is NOT usual...my mom is not here. I usually go with my 'gut feelings' but in this case i am wishy-washy...doesnt happen often but this is one of those times. it doesnt feel right to not notice (like we wouldnt!) but it doesnt feel right to actually have a birthday party either.....

I thought by now id have an epithany but brothers and sisters have been asking and i dont know....im not the oldest by any means but everyone looks to me...any suggestions out there would be very appreciated.

i wish i could talk to my mom just one more time, hug her, tell her again how much i love her, tell her how proud i was to be her daughter...damn that woman had the courage and guts of i dont know who......

if like for her to come to me, tell me its ok, that she is OK, i am waiting......i miss her so much, but i know it hasnt hit me really yet, i am one of those people who can go on for quite a while in a cloud. when my godmother/aunt passed away it hit me, really hit me a few years later. isnt that odd? i know there are no rules but come on! i still miss her now...i want to do something not only for me but for my kids, for my brothers and sisters and their families also, something that means something, something to comfort.

any ideas please

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My mom's birthday was less than a month after she passed away. Some of the family met at a restuarant to be together and remember her.

As for me, it was such a hard day. I just wanted to be alone. It was not a celebration for me. It was a day that made me remember how desperately I missed and still needed her. I spent the day at the cemetary, putting flowers on her and my dad's graves. I wrote a card and hand-wrote how much I missed her and wished we could have celebrated this birthday together. Then I put it in a ziplock to protect it from the weather, and left it at the cemetary. I know they clean it off weekly, but it made me feel good to leave it there. And I spent the rest of the day in bed.

Go with your gut. Do whatever makes you feel comfort. I totally understand your grief. With my dad, I didn't "fully" feel his loss and my grief until almost 2 years later. With my mom, I felt it (and still feel it) right away.

I hope her birthday passes gently for you and that you are comforted by your good memories together.

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