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Moms Birthday


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hi all, i almost never go to bed without checking into this site.....i have the best of the best wishes for everyone!

My mom died (how awful that sounds) 2 months ago today (yesterday, actually since its after midnight) and we were thinking of what to do for her upcoming birthday on March 31st. we were thinking of celebrating with cake and etc like usual but this is NOT usual...my mom is not here. I usually go with my 'gut feelings' but in this case i am wishy-washy...doesnt happen often but this is one of those times. it doesnt feel right to not notice (like we wouldnt!) but it doesnt feel right to actually have a birthday party either.....

I thought by now id have an epithany but brothers and sisters have been asking and i dont know....im not the oldest by any means but everyone looks to me...any suggestions out there would be very appreciated.

i wish i could talk to my mom just one more time, hug her, tell her again how much i love her, tell her how proud i was to be her daughter...damn that woman had the courage and guts of i dont know who......

if like for her to come to me, tell me its ok, that she is OK, i am waiting......i miss her so much, but i know it hasnt hit me really yet, i am one of those people who can go on for quite a while in a cloud. when my godmother/aunt passed away it hit me, really hit me a few years later. isnt that odd? i know there are no rules but come on! i still miss her now...i want to do something not only for me but for my kids, for my brothers and sisters and their families also, something that means something, something to comfort.

any ideas please

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