I thought I would not be this angry, scared.

[shirleyb]

I had to take my foster daughter into emergancy this morning. She was having abdominal pain that and we could not figure out why. She has medical issues that can be quiet unnerving to say the least. She has Marfan's, and that can cause life threatening things to happen for no reason other than the Marfans.

I thought I would be strong enough to be there for her and I found out I am not. I was fine until the doctor came in. I was ready to KILL him on site. I did not know I could be so angry with someone. He was the doctor who attended to Randy the night he died and told me that Randy was having an anexity attack when in reality, Randy was having a massive heart attack. When I saw him come into the room for my daughter I just about lost it on site. I kept it together long enough for him to check her out and get tests going to find out what is wrong with her but then I had to leave. I ended up calling her older sister to come and be with her because I could not deal with the pain it caused me to see this man. Now I am feeling very guilty because I had to leave her there and come home.

Right now I feel like I did the night Randy died and I hate this pain I am in. I am so scared that the doctor is going to blow her off just like he did to Randy. My head is telling me this is an unreal attitude to have. He probably is a good ER doctor but to me, he will always be the one who let my husband die before my eyes.

I know it will take time to learn to trust doctors again, but right now I am so scared and hurting I can't think straight.

Please pray for Priscilla that she is okay and nothing major has happened. Please pray for me that I can find some peace in my heart to forgive. Please pray for this doctor that he doesn't f%*k it up again for my family.

I did not think I could hurt this bad.

Shirley

[Don Wood]

Shirley, I am so sorry you have to go through so much pain. I think you did the right thing to get someone else to be with your daughter and to leave. Otherwise, the situation probably would have gotten worse. And you needed at that moment to take care of yourself. I have prayed for Priscilla and you, as you requested. I hope things will get easier for you soon. God bless. Don

[shirleyb]

Don,

Thank you for your prayers.

She ended up having emergency surgery this afternoon and is her room now and resting. My son is staying with her until I can get back over there to spend the night with her as I will not leave another family member alone to spend the night in a hospital. Myself, her sisters and my kids have all made the promise to each other that we would never leave one of us alone to face a hospital stay by ourselves. We found out the hard way that things happen and you are not made aware of them until long after the fact. No one should have to go through this alone. Especially in the middle of the night if something comes up.

I came home, called a few of my good friends to talk to and cry with and get my act together. Without them I would lose my mind. They gave me the strength to get it back together.

Thanks for listening and thanks for the prayers.

Shirley

[lilyjohn]

It will be a year in less than a month sense my Johnny died at the hands of the doctors we trusted to take care of him. I will never trust one so completely again. You are so right never leave a loved one alone with them. You have no idea what they do while you are away even for a few minutes. I hate feeling this distrust but had I felt it earlier I would not be beating myself up still. Sometimes doctors make mistakes. Other times they make decisions based on their own ego. Once in a while their actions are a way to cover up their mistakes and protect their ego. Life is too short so never trust 100% or you may learn as we have that our loved ones life means little to then other than just another case another number. No one wants to know the truth. They cover it up and hide from it. Why? I think it is because everyone fears not being able to trust. That leaves the door open for it to happen again and again.

I too pray for your daughter and yours as well as my peace of mind. It is desperately sought after but very hard to come by. God bless you. Lillian

[norme]

Shirley, am so glad that nightmare is over for you. I would have been the same as you when I saw him. I probably would have seen if any other dr was on duty. Probably not though. You did the best thing by getting out. Sure hope the little one is better now and you too.

[shirleyb]

First of all, thank you all for your prayers. This is one of the only places I know where I can let all my fears out and know that no one is going to say I am just over reacting. Thank you for your support.

I was able to bring Priscilla home this afternoon. She had appendicitis. (Keep in mind I can't spell worth a darn at times.) It had not burst by the time the surgeon got in there and that, in and of it self is a blessing. Otherwise we would be looking at about a 2 week stay. So thank you God for looking out for her and those that were in charge of her care.

Now she is home and resting very well. She is going to be fine.

The one really good thing that has come out of this, is the kids are all starting to understand why you have to have someone with you who can advocate for you for the best possible care. When I got back to the hospital, I really grilled the ER doctor as to what he was doing to help her. I have a feeling he remembered who I was when I started asking the techincal questions, like what tests have you done, what tests are you going to do, what were the results of the tests, what was her blood count, who was he calling to get opinions and help from. I would not let him leave until he answered all of these in terms she could understand. I got the feeling he knew I did not trust him to do his job.

Keep fighting for the best care you can get. Don't let anyone blow you off like you don't know what you are talking about. Be prepared to ask the tough questions and be prepared to make them accountable for what they say.

Much love to all.

Keep your eyes open, miracles happen every day.

Shirley