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Big Firsts Without Dad


tkelley

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Well, as you all know, some days are good and some are bad...... August 12th was Erin's second birthday and the first one for my kids without my dad. My brother and his wife just moved to Indiana so it was just my mom. I remember when it was Connor's second birthday and EVERYONE was here........Erin didn't know the difference.....but I did. We got through it though.

Then, it was my birthday. My mom took me out one day, just the two of us, shopping and lunch. It was great but of course it was bittersweet. It was wierd reading a card that only said "Love, Mom" Its the last of the 30's so I wasn't really counting the birthday anyway :)

Connor had to make a "me box" for the first day of school and I suggested we put a picture of his family in it. He chose the picture that I made the new avatar. He doesn't always talk about my dad but choosing that picture said so much.

Then, my uncle was in town and decided to take my son fishing. The first thing my dad said to Connor in the hospital after he was born was "we're going fishing". He bought him his first fishing pole and taught him how to fish. Well, Connor wound up catching a sea turtle the other day!! It was huge and wouldn't let go of his pole and the turtle snapped it in half.......At first I was just so sad about the fishing pole......then I felt bad for the huge sea turtle that was swimming around with half a pole sticking out of his mouth and then I laughed like crazy because I knew my dad would've told everyone that story and he would've been cracking up!!!

Last but not least, if you all remember the Super Bowl.....those Giants pulled out a miracle for my dad. In fact, he told me mom a few months before he died that he had prayed that the Giants would win the Super Bowl before he died (you'd think he would've prayed for good health :shock: ) so when the Giants won he figured it was just a matter of time before he was gone.... The day my dad died, after saying goodbye to him at the house, I went into the closet and took the Giant jacket I had bought for him right after his second lung surgery. He wore it all the time. I took it home and put it in the closet. This week with the new season starting, I felt the need to put it on. I stuck my hands in the pocket and there were 3 wrapped mints in the pocket. He was always eating them... I think I laughed and cried at the same time. Last night at game time, right at kickoff, I had such a knot in the pit of my stomach but then I realized that he was watching too. My mom and I got through it. She had gone out and bought the 52" HD LCD TV that they had shopped for together and put a picture of my dad on the side table. Together we cheered those Giants on to their first win.

The point is, some of these last few months have really sucked but we made it through, my dad would want us to move forward and enjoy what he enjoyed doing with us. Thanks for listening.

Tammy

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Oh Tammy,

I know what you're going thru. Thank you for sharing your moments with us. It's true that something can happen and we grieve and are elated at the same time...it's hard. It's a process that I think we muddle thru with the love and support of those around us.

Your kids will always remember the special relationship with their grandpa. I'm glad you put on that jacket and found those mints and that your giants won. A little sign that no matter what, in some ways, your daddy will always be with you.

(((hugs)))

Hoping for gentler times ahead for you and your family.

.

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Ah Tammy, so sorry as you find your way through this journey known as grief. I smiled at the jacket stoyr. I still have my dad's winbreaker and wear it too. Now mind you that my dad passed away in 1983!!!! It carried his scent for a while, and when I discovered that it was gone............I grieved tremendously.

There will be so many firsts and seconds and thirds. I still remember them all ~ all these years later. Know that Fred and I are so sorry. We feel so privileged to have met both your parents.I told you before, I KNOW we could have been good friends. It's hard to have lost ~ and then go on ~ after loving such a special dad.

XOXO,

Kasey

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