Ann Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 You Know You Drink Too Much Coffee When: * You answer the door before people knock. * Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. * You ski uphill. * You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. * You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. * You lick your coffeepot clean. * You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there. * Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. * You chew on other people's fingernails. * Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend." * You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet. * You can jump-start your car without cables. * All your kids are named "Joe". * You don't need a hammer to pound nails. * Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low." * You don't sweat, you percolate. * You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel. * You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug. * You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. * You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. * You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. * You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirs. * People get dizzy just watching you. * You've worn the finish off your coffee table. * The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you. * Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house. * Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp. * Instant coffee takes too long. * When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop." * You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can. * Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil. * You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. * You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running. * You can outlast the Energizer bunny. * You short out motion detectors. * You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. * Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale. * You think being called a "drip" is a compliment. * You don't tan, you roast. * You can't even remember your second cup. * You help your dog chase its tail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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