American Cancer Society Joins BBQ Meat "Cook Off"

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The Dumbest Fundraising Event Ever? American Cancer Society Joins BBQ Meat "Cook Off" to Raise Money for Cancer Research

by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, NaturalNews Editor

(NaturalNews) Texans living in Navarro County are about to win a collective award for being the dumbest people in the world when it comes to diet and nutrition: They are hosting a BBQ meat cook-off to raise money for -- get this -- cancer research! Somebody should stop by the festivities and tell these people something they apparently have no knowledge of: BBQ'd meats cause cancer!

Thus, these participants raising money for so-called "cancer research" are engaging in the very activity that causes cancer in the first place. I wonder what's next? A hard liquor buffet for Alcoholics Anonymous? A cheeseburger eating contest for heart patients? Or how about a diet soda festival to raise money for researching brain tumors?

And wouldn't you know it: A local chapter of the American Cancer Society will reportedly be joining the event, too! (Why doesn't this surprise me?) You can bet your horseshoes that the ACS won't be telling anybody the truth about the polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAH) found in charred meat, nor the fact that excess meat consumption all by itself is strongly correlated with numerous cancers. (See authors' quotes below.)

Cooking For A Cure!

According to the Corsicana Daily Sun (http://www.corsicanadailysun.com/ne...), the event is "sanctioned by the Lone Star BBQ Society" and will stage contests using three different meats: Chicken, Pork and (beef) Brisket.

This is all being called -- hilariously -- "Cooking For A Cure!"

So there you have it, folks: The truth about the "X for a Cure" fundraising scams sponsored by the cancer industry. Whether it's "Running for a Cure" or "Buying pink stuff for a cure" or "Wearing pink ribbons for a cure," the truth is that none of it cures anything. All it does is keep people distracted and ignorant about the true causes of cancer while actually giving them more cancer from all the junk they're buying and consuming. I've actually seen pink-ribbon products sold that contain cancer-causing chemicals!

Right here, I'm offering $300 to the first person who will go film this event and let us use the footage on NaturalNews. Just take a hand-held video camera (HD is best) and go film these people eating BBQ meat as a cancer fundraiser. Contact us through our feedback form (www.nauralnews.com/feedback.html) if you're interested in actually doing this. This event is so outrageously stupid that it's just gotta be shared on YouTube... If you do this, you have to TALK to the people and ask them questions to solicit their responses, too.

Smoking For A Cure!

I suppose if they can BBQ red meat and call it "Cooking For A Cure," then we can call anything an activity for a cure, right? So I've come up with some new events that we'll be hosting in 2009, just to raise yet more money for cancer research. Please join us at one or more of these events:

• Smoking For A Cure - In this event, we'll sell pink-ribbon cigarettes sold in little pink boxes, with all proceeds to go towards searching for a cure for lung cancer. The American Cancer Society will, of course, be invited to attend and participate.

• Chemicals For A Cure - This event features an impressive lineup of toxic personal care products and cosmetics that will be raffled away in a massive fundraiser designed to raise money to be spent on irradiation women's breasts with poorly-calibrated mammography machines.

• Kill Yourself For A Cure - Here's my favorite: Top cancer industry doctors, oncologists and non-profit directors will be invited to publicly kill themselves by swallowing fatal doses of chemotherapy drugs that are routinely prescribed to cancer patients. Proceeds from the event will be used to research yet more toxic chemotherapy drugs that are right now killing patients everywhere!

Hot dogs and diet soda will be served at all events, and free sunscreen will be handed out to make sure everybody remains vitamin D deficient (which is, of course, crucial for growing more cancer tumors). Vitamin C is banned at the event, as are all natural substances such as green tea, rainforest herbs and broccoli.

We are hoping to hold these events in Navarro County, Texas, where participation will likely be the highest. Unless, of course, the people have already keeled over from colon cancer following the BBQ fundraising event...

I hope you'll join us at one of these events as we support the cancer industry by keeping everybody sick and diseased.

EDITOR'S NOTE: This article is satire, but the "Cooking For A Cure" event is real! The rest of this story, however, is satirical commentary designed to make a point: That people in the conventional cancer industry are stupid beyond belief and will apparently engage in anything (including cancer-causing activities) as an excuse to raise more money for their pointless cancer "research."

You want cures for cancer? Eat plants, not meats. Get sunlight, superfoods, exercise and laughter. Avoid all processed foods and man-made, synthetic chemicals in EVERYTHING (food, medicine, personal care products, cleaning products, etc.). That's the answer right there. The cancer industry will never find it, either, because they're not looking for real answers.

You might also want to avoid Navarro County, Texas, just to be safe.