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Monday's Air


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Morning All! Well I do seem to be into a taking it easy these last two days. I sat down here a little after nine (didn't get up til 8 again!) and it's already 10:30 between checking email, catching up on the board and breaking to take/make phone calls. BTW it was only 66 this morning when I got up. I had to put a sweater on to go out and get the paper. It's only 70 right now. I'm glad I hemmed my new black jeans yesterday lol.

I rescheduled my dentist appointment til next week. I have a tiny cold sore and the last time I did a dental appmt with one (shortly before my dx), I wound up with a raging infection.

I need to vent a little about MDACC. I love my onc and the hospital has been great to me but sometimes the inefficiency gets to me. My onc has a new nurse and I called two weeks ago to have them schedule my next scans. I thought I'd get a date when the nurse called me back but when I pressed, she blew me off with a "it will be somewhere around five weeks." Well two weeks later (today) I call again and she still hasn't put the order in. Not only do we have to travel 8 hrs each way, my husband has work to schedule around in Nov. On top of that, I'll probably get a late-day appmt now and there are food deprivation issues here! She said she'd take it up to the girls today. We'll see.

I am going to get up and tend to my office and empty the dishwasher now. I have a massage appointment later and want to be able to come home and relax.

Judy in Key West

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I am so sorry that I didn't answer your post earlier. Today has just been a strange day for me. I guess I am not the only one because I have checked the board several times today and there has been little activity.

I really did have the blues yesterday and am really not sure where they came from. That does happen from time to time. I just have to remind myself of how far I have come and how I have gotten here.

I have spent the last few days going over my story. The story is actually one I wrote not long after Johnny's death. It was supposed to be our love story. That is what he had wanted me to write. He said loving for so long and seperated for so long then getting back together and finding our love to still be so special made us one in a million.

I started out to write that story but trying to find myself and understand so many of the painful things in my life set me to writing the story of my life. Crazy eh? Still it helped me to get up on my feet. I wish I could say heal me but I think everyone can tell that I have not healed only learned to live with my pain .

I hope that in the process of helping myself that I have somehow been able to help someone else. That is my goal and I hope my purpose for being here. Then and only then can I make any sense out of the past 8 years of my life or really much longer than that.

Anyway reading my story takes time. You know that I am not a person with few words and I put a lot of thought and detail in what I wrote. Much of it is memories of those who I have lost. Some makes me cry but the love of my family and the love that Johnny and I shared warms my heart and make me feel the love that sometimes seems so distant from me.

So yes as long as you will all put up with me I plan on sticking around. I hope that I can start being a little brighter than I have been the past few days. Take care and get the rest you need Judy.

Will if you read this you know that I along with many others will have you in our hearts and prayers tomorrow. Lillian

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