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RIGGLE5583

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Hi, everyone. I am new here and wanting as much support and information I can get. My girlfriend has stage 4 lung cancer and lupus. I was wondering if there is a specific place on the site I should post. I am hoping to meet a lot of spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, and lung cancer friends. :D

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Welcome Riggle. This is the right forum to introduce yourself. I also read your post under "My Story". I am very sorry you have had reason to find us, but this is a good place to come for support. There are many people here who have loved ones with lung cancer. I am a patient, so I have not been in your position, but some of our members who have been just where you are will be along soon. You are right, and lung cancer can travel to the brain, but your girlfriend's behavior reminds me of my behavior at times when I was first diagnosed and going through treatment. It is very frightening, you feel completely alone - as if you were the only one this awful thing is happening to, and unfortunately you are most apt to take it out on those closest to you. At times I was not a very nice person. Looking back I'm surprised my husband put up with me - I am not so sure I would have. Remember, she needs you more than ever.

Please come back often and let us know how things are going. This is a good place just to vent if you need to. We all understand.

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HELLO Dianew,

Thanks for responding. I the short time with my girlfriend I have learned a lot. The anger is a thing right now. the mood swings. really hard to handle with my 6 year old son around also. we have talked a lot. I love her so much. I would never leave her and have told her that. Its hard because she wants me to promise not to talk to anyone about anything.

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Riggles - I hope you can get her to be more open about what is going on. When I was first diagnosed I felt the same way - I wanted no one to know anything - but it really just compounds the sense of isolation and fear and I think most people suspected something was going on anyway, they just didn't know what. Once it became more common knowledge and I was forced to start talking to people about it, things got easier. This must be very confusing for a 6 yr old. Is there any chance you live in an area where there is an "in person" lung cancer support group? If not, then a general cancer support group might be of real help to her as well - they also have support groups for caregivers, and you might want to check into that for yourself. And of course we are always here.

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Welcome Rig..

I'm sorry you have a reason to be here.

Anger is definitely a stage we all go thru. I hope you will find that this is a good place to talk it out and while your gf doesn't want you talking about it with others- we can connect you with a support buddy that you can chat with. This is someone whos walked the walk you are walking and it would be completely confidential.

Think about it. Keep posted and keep us updated,

KatieB

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a good tip for dealing with the anger issue...... take a few eggs outside and throw them as hard as you can against a tree or fence if possible.... it is a transfer of aggression method. if not too late in the evening primal yelling also helps.. If your looking fora little more personal and quiet long talks with God under the stars at night are great... you can get everything off your mind and so can she...this works foe many more issues as well.... has gotten me through some hard times....

also if you take 6 eggs you can spell out cancer on them and then throw them ...

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Hi Riggle,

I agree with Katie. I believe letting your feelings out and letting someone else help you who has gone thru this as well. I hope you will continue to post so we can be a shoulder you can lean on.

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