gayle Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 I have been lurking here for a couple of days and am impressed by the courage, strength and support that is in this forum. I don't know where to start, or even if I belong here, but I feel so frightened that I have to do something, so will introduce myself. I am 49, and have smoked since I was a teenager. 4years ago I was diagnosed with asthma, and have struggled to quit smoking ever since. My father is 72 and has COPD, he hasn't smoked since he was 45. My maternal uncle died of LC at the age of 57. I have long known that I need to quit smoking, that I certainly would be/am a strong candidate for any host of lung problems, including LC, but somehow that knowledge has not been enough to keep me quit. Throughout this past winter I had two very bad colds that settled in my lungs. Had antibiotics for both and both improved. The last one was the worst in March. Four months later I still have a cough and alot of chest tightness, along with wheezing, and some episodic rails in what feels like my left lung. I have no pain, just tightness and wheezing. Also no blood in sputum, or any other symptoms. I have talked to my Dr and he thinks that for whatever reason, my asthma has gotten worse. I on the other hand have begun to fear that something far more serious is going on, either emphysema or LC. I know I should see a Dr (though my Dr currently does not seem to think this is necessary) but I am terrified to see one and find out it is something horrible, or serious. A little more history: I got remarried to the love of my life (truly my soulmate) in June of 2001. He lost both his parents to smoking related cancers. We have a beautiful future together, no money worries, shared interests, great joy with each other. We have a wonderful weeks vacation planned in 2 weeks, in vegas, which will include a vow renewal. I have been so looking forward to this and part of me is trying to forget my fear and foreboding until after that trip. I bargain with myself, and God, that I will see a Dr. right after we get back if these symptoms have not gotten better. I feel so scared, so guilty, and so full of remorse that I have not quit smoking and that my lovely husband, who adores me, and needs me, may lose me due to my addiction, weakness etc. Sorry if I am babbling, I have so many thoughts and fears running through my mind and such a sense of paralysis to find out what is going on, but I wanted to share and open myself up to your insights and support. Many thanks, gayle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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