OBITUARY

[Fall54]

OBITUARY

Today we mourn the passing

of a beloved old friend by the name of

Common Sense

who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was

since his birth records

were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered

as having cultivated such value lessons as

knowing when to come in out of the rain,

why the early bird gets the worm and

that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense

lived by simple, sound financial policies

(don't spend more than you earn)

and reliable parenting strategies

(adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate

when well intentioned but overbearing regulations

were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy

charged with sexual harassment

for kissing a classmate;

teens suspended from school

for using mouthwash after lunch;

and a teacher fired

for reprimanding an unruly student,

only worsened his condition.

It declined even further

when schools were required to get parental consent

to administer aspirin to a student;

but could not inform the parents

when a student became pregnant

and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally,

Common sense lost the will to live

as the Ten Commandments became contraband;

churches became businesses;

and criminals received better treatment

than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost

after a woman failed to realize

that a steaming cup of coffee was hot,

she spilled a bit in her lap,

and was awarded a huge settlement

Common Sense

was preceded in death

by his parents, Truth and Trust,

his wife, Discretion;

his daughter, Responsibility;

and his son, Reason

He is survived by two stepbrothers;

My Rights! and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral

because so few realized he was gone.

If you still know him pass this on,

if not join the majority and do nothing.