bunny

but this new family I have requires no introduction - prayers to Dean and Gay, and all of you. bunny

this place is incredibly supportive and informative. you're in my thoughts (and prayers) as is your son. xoxo bunny

we really sound like we're having such similar experiences. I have the same feelings of anger and injustice about my mom - she has thyroid cancer in 1993, RIGHT after her sister died of kidney cancer. she had her first round of LC in 2000 and it felt like such a miracle, how they found it, that it was successfully treated with surgery. I feel like my miracle has been tarnished. I'm mad that she's had so much more than her share of crap (not just in cancerland) and now she has to do this AGAIN. she's never had chemo before, and from everything I've read it may well happen this time. we were always grateful, "at least she didn't have to go through chemo". it's hard not to get pessimistic. the best I can do is get back into the moment, and in this moment the following is true: 1. mom is healthy, feeling good, working and hanging out with her friends; 2. I am healthy, feeling scared, but there for her 100%, as is my little brother; 3. god has his arms around all of us, in ways I can not imagine, and has always shown me results far, far better than what I'd ever hoped for; 4. I have a ba-jillion new friends and fellow travelers on the scary road through cancerland here, and I am not alone in any way shape or form. Thanks again, you have no idea how much you've helped me (everyone here has). xoxo bunny

I only hope I can become a support to you, as well. missy, we sound like kindred spirits. I will look for you in the other areas of the site. thank you, thank you, thank you.

we're not at the NED or NERD stage yet but I kept reading all these bio's that ended with it and I didn't know if it was good news or bad. now that I know what it is, I feel so encouraged by all those stories! mom's surgery is 6/24. I am scared but so much calmer, partly because of this forum. thanks for your help! xoxo bunny

what's "NED"?

I can't thank you all enough for taking so much time to make such thoughtful, supportive replies. I still feel a bit lost on this website but much less alone in the world. this is such an intense time, as I know you all know. my mom feels great right now, so for her it's a countdown to feeling crappy which is depressing. she's working alot to get things squared away before her surgery and whatever comes after it (as am I) and I am taking her to the beach on Sat. who knows whether she'll feel up it the rest of the summer. she and I have a tendancy to bicker, so I am working really hard to change that for now. god is so good, and I have a loving partner this time around (hadn't met him yet in 2000, when mom was first sick) which makes a world of difference. I'll be back, and please please let me know how I can support you guys. where do I post, after this 'newcomer' post?

she's 58. in 2000, she was diagnosed with stage 2 non-small cell adenocarcinoma. they found it via a miracle - a pre-op chest xray for another procedure - and removed a 3rd of her lung. they called it a cure. two years ago, a spot appeared on her lung which was unreachable for biopsy (a lymph node near the middle) so they watched it every 3 months since then. it never grew on the cat scan and barely changed on the pet. anyway, I'm making this so long. bottom line - since her last check 6 months ago, she has developed a tumor which a biopsy has shown to be the same cancer, back again. she is scheduled for surgery in two weeks and chemo is a maybe. she's in moderately good health otherwise, and she really seems ok right now - positive, strong, but understandably scared. I am a damn mess and I don't understand why. I feel like if I really had the faith I claim to (no specific religion, but lots of god) I wouldn't be this devastated. I need to be able to work and I can't. I spend the whole day on the internet (ha, here I am) reading, thinking and crying about cancer. may be more than you bargained for.

is this where I participate? I'm so sorry if it's not. my mom has lung cancer. I'm an otherwise bright woman, but I can't figure out this website right now. can't work, can't do anything. if I'm in the wrong place, I'm so sorry - and can anyone suggest another place? I found a nice message board at cancercare.org but I feel so bad burdening them, their loved ones are generally in much worse shape than my mom.

is this the right place for me, not the patient, to post?