bunny

from one "calamity jane" to another, that's pretty funny. I hope your laughter speeds your healing. god, that sounds painful. reason number 876 to NEVER go to the gym. xoxo amie

cindy, that's awful. I am so sorry. I agree that the hospital and your lawyers should could have handled things ALOT better. as if you didn't have enough to deal with, sheesh. xoxo amie

I like the idea of integrated medicine, too. my mom is receiving a clinical trial of accupuncture along with her regular pain care. fine needles were implanted in her back pre-surgery, and will be there until we see the doc on Wed. unfortunately, I'm not sure what effect she'll have on the study as we've really struggled to get her pain under control. nevertheless, we were so excited to be a part of furthering the "integration" . more power to you, Jim! xoxo amie

Lucie! I am so happy to hear you're feeling up to all this. what a gift you both are to these couples! you're so committed, and I truly believe it will help you, too, stay healthy and whole. love, prayers, and admiration. xoxo amie

oh, dee! you're such a beautiful heart, you have nothing to feel guilty about. as for your feelings over claire, cindi's post is so much more eloquent than I can be right now, and 100% right on. I know for me, and this may be controversial, but it's my truth, I had to look over the precipice of my mother's possible death from lung cancer in order to be able to pull back and show up for her. I had to confront the worst case scenario FIRST and, in doing so, realize that even under those circumstances she was in god's hands, she would be taken care of, and so would I. only then could I back up a little, look around, say a couple prayers and realize that what matters is that my mom is here TODAY and I have the opportunity to make the rest of her life, however long, better. I don't know if that helps, hon. I am thinking of you. xoxo amie

I am praying for you, kreed, and I know exactly what feeling you're talking about. it's so scary, isn't it? it's a very day at a time thing for me. when I signed on here, I was TERRIFIED with the whole, huge picture. day to day, though, I can manage it AND show up better for mom. vent any time, xoxo amie

1. my mom got new pain medication, and FINALLY got some sleep (neurontin, percocet stopped working) 2. the rain has stopped, just in time for a 4:00 baseball game with a girlfriend 3. my boyfriend's parents in Ireland, they've truly become family to me 4. my aunt, grandma, cousins - the best friends I've got! 5. human resiliance (people on this site, London)

cindi! I am so glad to hear you're feeling and breathing so strong! I will take some of that worry for you, too. you are such a beautiful fighter! keep it up, girl. I have no doubt everything will be all right. thanks for being a friend to me here. I wish you didn't have reason to worry, but I relish the opportunity to return the favor. please call me any time. xoxo amie

pam, I am so, so sorry for your loss and for your sister's suffering. I pray for peace for you, your living sister and your nieces. I know your sister who passed has already found her peace. love and prayers, amie

Peggy's right, you be true to you. otherwise, I am in no position to give you advice - just positive thoughts. xoxo amie PS. pam was my aunt's name, makes me always look up at the mention of it...

amazing story. thank you so much for it. hope your remission continues indefinately!! xoxo amie

how awful. my heart goes out to her. prayers to her whole family (and to you.) xoxo bunny

welcome! xoxo amie

welcome. you should have no problem getting answers here, these folks are so well-informed and generous with their knowledge. prayers to you, xoxo amie

happy anniversary!

tell Claire I am rooting for her! quitting smoking remains one of the hardest things I've ever done. xoxo bunny

prayer, here. xoxo amie

that's great, I am so happy to hear you're finished and were so well cared for by the nurses. love & prayers, amie

so sorry to hear this. here's a prayer for peace and freedom from pain for Cathy and her family. xoxo amie

that's great news! I am so glad to hear it, thank you for posting.

ugh, Fay. that's awful. how invalidating! I have to say, we've been lucky with my mom's surgeon - it's like she's the only person in the room when we see him, until he's through with her exam/consult. THEN he turns to my brother and me and says, now do YOU guys have any questions? I don't have enough experience with the "pendulum" to comment, but I know you deserve better. and I agree with Pat's observations (as usual! ) - people project their discomfort with cancer onto my mom. she's pretty accepting of her illness (although not, necessarily) everything that goes with treating it). suki is a world-class eye-roller in the face of people who speak/act inappropriately. hang in, hope your head feels better. xoxo amie

good luck with the move, and everything else. you really sound like you are doing right by your daughter, which I admire so much. I pray to find even an ounce of the grace you possess. xoxo amie

welcome, sandie. I am so sorry you're going through this. the people here are absolutely incredible sources of support and information. I am relatively new to all this, as I try and help steer my mom through her LC and treatment so I don't contribute much yet, but it's an an amazing community where you will find everything you seek,and more. xoxo bunny

what a gorgeous picture!! happy arrival anniversary to all of you!! xoxo amie

I don't think you messed up. you're so strong and so committed to your mom. everyone needs a meltdown now and again. Pat's observation sounds right to me - it's the disease that has BOTH of you unhappy, I've learned from my own reactions to things lately that it's natural to focus it on something else. I would babysit in a heartbeat...otherwise, I am sending you positive vibes and strength. and prayers. xoxo amie PS. I would have had the SAME reaction, by the way.