bunny

sorry his cancer is back, I do hope the new course of action does what he needs it to. thanks for continuing to post, I am fairly new here still and appreciate it so much. xoxo amie

you're not mean, far from it. I can only imagine how difficult it is. vent any time. not sure what else I can say, other than to tell you I am sending love and prayers your way. xoxo amie

I hope you get some relief, soon. praying for you and sending posiive, pain-free vibes! xoxo amie

it is a blessing. enjoy!! xoxo amie

teeny weeny, huh? sounds like your next avatar. you'll notice my beach picture is neck-up my favorite touristy thing in Chicago was a boat tour down the river given by the Art Institute. it's technically an architecture tour, but there's so much cool history and it was so beautiful being on the river!! it's actually one of the best tours I've done, anywhere. if you get to Brat, give 'em a HUGE hug for me. have a great trip. xoxo amie

teri, I am so sorry for your pain. I wish I could take from you. the hardest part of all of this for me is watching my mom in pain. you have so much going on, any one of those things would prove too much for a lesser soul. I am an admirer, and praying for you. xoxo amie

I just realized, this is an older post...oh well, good news anyway! go Lucie!! xoxo amie

first, thanks everyone for the pre-visit prayers. they worked! suki had a great post-op visit today. he said the word "cured"!!!!! the path is as follows: both spots were cancer, which is both good and bad news - bad in that it means multiple tumors, but good because we watched one of them for 18 months and it barely grew, which means a slow-grower. he took all the remaining lymph nodes after her '00 lobectomy, and 5 of 7 had cancer in them. of course, we knew the outer tumor was LC. no huge surprises, though the lymph nodes are a little nerve-wracking. he wouldn't stage her, because he said there's no way to know if it's a recurrance or the same cancer as last time - she's right at the 5 year mark. my mom'surgeon was almost ecstatic after seeing her x-ray today - he said her remaining lung is "huge and beautiful". her O2 is good, and he asked her to get rid of the oxygen she has at home by the weekend. she can drive as soon as she's ready to come off the percocet. the only downside to the visit we expected but hoped against - he is recommending adjuvent chemo. she knows she has a choice, and she hasn't made up her mind yet but she's leaning towards having it. she's never done it before, and it's a scary prospect for her. I hate to see her suffer, but the doctor called it "an insurance policy" that I think is hard to pass up. he told us to come back in 3 months, but said the magic words: "as far as I am concerned, you're CURED." it was a great moment. he is a great doctor, at a great hospital. so here's my 5 for 7/13: 1. see above 2. god above 3. this board 4. my mom's spirit 5. see above I can not thank you all enough. I know I'll need you as we move into the chemo phase, and hopefully I will have opportunities to give back. xoxo amie

yippeee!!! I am SO happy, missy. hooray. what a trouper she is, what a tough cookie! and you must be such a comfort and a joy to her. prayer, hope and love work. they really do, don't they! xoxo amie PS. I wish I could pull off a 'hot dang', it just sounds wrong with my new yawk accent.

I'm sorry, Val. you are so good at rolling with the punches here with your mom's LC, this one must be especially difficult. keep the faith, and know that I (we) are thinking of you and praying. xoxo amie

I haven't experienced what you're going through with your mom, but it sounds so scary. I'm so sorry. I find it hard to hear people's opinions sometimes about what they "would" do, I just don't think you know until you're there. my mom SWORE she wouldn't have the surgery she just had, right up until that biopsy came back. I have no idea what decisions I would make, if I were in her shoes. at any rate, I can only offer support. hang in there, and I hope things improve for your mom. xoxo amie

waiting is horrible. going in with mom tomorrow for post-surgery results.

woo hoo!! that's great news. keep it coming! xoxo amie

amazing, useful info. I just saw all this for the first time and it's exactly the kind of stuff I hope to pass on to mom when/if she's ready. I also think I should consider moving towards it myself - I know I have an allergy to yeast, which I ignore and eat it anyway, and there is cancer all over both sides of my family. I've already had a carcinoma in situ (cervical) myself. the more I read and witness my mom's experience, the more I think I owe it to myself and the people who love me to make some changes. all I can think about is the deprivation, but someone pointed out when I quit smoking (5/1/99!) that I wasn't depriving myself by quitting, I was depriving myself (of life, health, money) by continuing to smoke! thanks again. xoxo amie

Pat said what I was going to say, the Melanies (and others here) - such unbelievable, astonishingly strong and brave people! So here's my 5 for today: 1. Melanie 2. Melanie 3. Pat & Brian 4. my mom's surgical follow up is tomorrow, one more hurdle will be past... 5. vacation is coming! xoxo bunny

seriously, what a trouper you are. your attitude is amazing, who wouldn't be a bit fed up after all that? I can't even imagine. we're pulling and praying for you here. xoxo amie

I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but have you tried talking to/enlisting her boyfriend? I'd hate to think this is a "respect her wishes" situation, because it seems like there is more that she can do. but it might be. I'm sorry you're going through it and I wish I could impart some wisdom. hang in there, I hope you find some peace with the situation. xoxo amie

since I read it early this morning: "“Come to the edge.â€

beautiful mom, amazing daughter. xoxo amie

I would have done the same thing. humans are so funny!! I'm so glad it all worked out well. (sorry to come in so late) I LOVE a little AC/DC on the LCSC, too. xoxo amie

I wish I could say or do something to relieve your pain, even for a minute. just know that I admire you, and am praying for you and sending hugs. xoxo amie

what a horrible loss, but what a beautiful tribute. I am so sorry you've gone through this. I can't imagine it. prayers and thoughts are with you, xoxo amie

I have moments of serious craving for a cig, and I quit 5/1/99. half the reason I don't start again is that I don't ever want to go through the HELL of quitting again. the other half is my mom. hang in there, girl. you're doing awesome! xoxo amie

val, I relate to the feelings so much. what everyone has said rings true for me - though its normal, I think, that you feel the way you do. I want my mom to feel how much I love her by how perfectly and completely I care for her. thing is, she already does. her friends want to help and I get SO possessive but, after running myself into the GROUND this past week, I have finally stopped feeling threatened by their presence and grateful for the break! I can also tell you that I am useless in kitchen, but my mom prefers my company to my godmother's who's like martha stewart!! it's not the DOING we give them, it's who we ARE to them. she is taken care of, don't worry. this post is incoherent, I just want you to know that I relate, I HEAR you, I have no doubt in my mind that you are doing right by your mom. your friend, xoxo amie

i wish I could do more than offer a chiming in on the others' sentiments - get a second opinion. my mom did, and ended up staying with the 2nd opinion doc, who is a godsend. good luck, I am thinking of you. xoxo amie