jduenges

I am very sorry. Please accept my condolences. Take care, Jackie

Michele, I am sorry about the loss of your Dad. I know it is so difficult. I lost my Dad in Sept'05. I just never imagined life without my Dad. Losing him was so bad, not to mention having to have him suffer through this terrible sickness. I also feel badly for my Mom. My Mom was born in Italy and she is very old fashioned. She doesn't drive, she doesn't go out with friends. When my Dad was alive and well she spent most days cooking, cleaning, and bargain hunting with my Dad. She really relies on my sisters and I to keep her busy. I feel so bad for her because she is alone and wants to keep busy but at the same time it is difficult because I am married and have two small children. My Mom enjoys spending time with my kids, coming over my house(or my sisters), having dinner at my house(I ask her to help me cook something or she will cook it herself). I think keeping her busy helps. Take care, Jackie

Thank you all very much for your kind words of encouragement. You are all very kind and it helps to have others like you to talk and listen to.

Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. My Dad passed away September 6, 2004. I have never felt such pain. Just watching my strong, caring Dad wither away right before my eyes was horrible. I would have done anything in the world to make him better. The only thing left for me to do was to be there with him until the end. He was home so I went to visit him every day. I talked to him(he couldn't talk to me or open his eyes), I held his hand, I told him how much I loved him and how proud I am to be his daughter, I played soft music for him(he was born in Italy and enjoyed listening to Italian music), I brushed his hair and shaved his face while he was in bed(he always enjoyed that months prior. Anything to let him know I was there...I wanted him to know that I was there. Talk to your Dad, let him know how much you love him. I know your pain...

Hello, I have been on this website for the past month or so and finally decided to join in. I lost my Dad to NSCLC on September 6, 2005. I miss him terribly. Not a single day goes by without missing him and tearing up. I just cannot get over losing him. We found out about the tumor in his lung in September 2004. He said he felt fine up until the day the doctor told him about the cancer. From that day on, it was just one thing after another...pnemonia, chemo, radiation, anemia, hospitalizations....My poor Dad didn't have anymore good days. The last few months were the most horrible. I hope this isn't too much, but I would like to tell you a bit about my Dad. He was a very stong man who worked so very hard to raise and support his family. He was born in Italy and came to America for a "better life". He worked so very hard and enjoyed small things in life...his garden, playing cards with friends, wine, and food. He was a kind, sincere man who would take the shirt off his back to help someone in need. Being that he was born in Italy, he had somewhat of a language barrier especially when it came to speaking with the doctors so he left all decisions up to my sisters and I (my Mom is the same way). We decided to always make things look optimistic so that my Dad would continue going to treatments and never give up. I don't think my Dad knew how bad things were until the very end. I feel so badly and so guilty that things were hidden from him and maybe we didn't do something right. Maybe we didn't choose the best doctor or maybe we should have been more forceful with doctors and other treatment plans? Maybe we should have explained more to my Dad, maybe he would have wanted things done differently? We assumed that my Dad wouldn't travel far or go through different trials(prior to the cancer, my Dad didn't go to the doctor unless he was very sick, he never took medications...he didn't like to). I miss my Dad so much that now I know what it means to have a "broken heart". My heart actually feels broken. I ask my Dad every day to please tell me he is in a better place, give me a sign or something. But I don't see it. This website has helped me and I feel a connection to many of the other families who have experienced such a terrible loss. Thanks for your time, sorry this was so long. Jackie