Remembering Dave
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Denise, the other David C post was from my wife. Having been a part of this board for over a year know I believe that in some ways this crummy disease is harder on the caregivers than it is on us who actually have it. I can tell Karen has a hard time trying to help me and it hurts me to have to see her going through this. I can't tell you what to do, I don't think anyone can be in your shoes and tell you what you should do although you haved recvd some of the best advice possible from the other posts here. We are all here for you. You and your mom will be in my prayers. She is lucky to have someone in her life like you.
David C
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Ok, ya'll - it's getting a little hard but I'm hanging in there.
Dave is a little anxious I think and also has been on percoset for over a week now (his brow bone really hurts where the ENT doc took out a little piece of bone for the biopsy) and he snaps really easy - short tempered - yelling at both Faith and I, snipping at me for every little thing, then when I tell him he's making me nervous or anxious and to please calm down then he harps on how I can't handle this and I need to see our doc and get some valium or something.
geesh, anyone would need valium if they're getting yelled at all day long, no kidding.
Then I realized I needed to just ignore him, I asked him for permission to ignore him and he granted it - so there's my valium, ignoring him.
This is getting hard and I'm not sure how I'm going to hold up though this on my own, my mom is laid up with the colon cancer so my parents can't really help, but I have to continue working full time with my two hour daily commute, taking Faith to daycare, then take care of her and Dave every evening.
Gosh, I completely FORGOt to give her a bath this week after we got the bad news. I gave her a bath Monday and then meant to on Wednesday but then the bomb got dropped and I forgot, then Thursday we went to see my folks and I forgot, then it was Friday and I said heck with it, she'll just get dirty over the weekend, guess I'll give her one tomorrow before we take her to her little teacher's house to spend the night (so I can get Dave to the hospital by 6 am on Monday).
Ok, thanks for allowing me to vent and ramble. I needed that.
Karen C.
p.s. did you know that if someone is yelling at you, if you close your eyes and pray you can't hear them?
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Prayers are with you and your Mom, but they should be taking good care of her there in the hospital. Keep us posted.
God Bless,
Karen C.
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Shirley, waiting is hard. I hope they can get you in soon and that everything is OK. My prayers are with you.
David C
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Just saw this, sorry so late. Happy belated Gotcha Day and Anniversary.
David C
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You definitely have my prayers for a quick turnaround.
David C
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Ha,Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!!!!!! Believe me I am laughing at myself NOT YOU. I asked the same questions myself when I had my clear scans. You do not quite know what to make of it. It does not seem real. I had to ask my Onc. if this meant I was in remission!!!! Remission, NED, Clear, no matter what you call it it is wonderful news!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations. I know that this is a time of confusion. Enjoy your life, live it to the fullest. Look at the chemo as a pentative for any rogue cells that still may be floating around. I know it is hard not to worry. I am sure your Doctors will do scans periodically to check and make sure it does not return. My prayers will be with you.
David C
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Cool Dude!!!!!! I know you will enjoy the new ride. Congrats!!
David C
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Ginny, I just saw this post, I had lunch with Dave and he pointed out to me that there is a new General forum and I hadn't seen it so I'm missing stuff.
I am so sorry and my heart is breaking, too. I can hardly bear looking at that beautiful photo of the two of you and then read the words on The Duke and all those brain mets and liver mets. I want to come up there and give you both a big hug. Better yet, I want to bring Faith up there so she can give each of you a big wet Faith kiss right on the lips, which is her specialist. She also specializes in huges.
Keep us posted, I wish I could really help you.
God Bless,
Karen C.
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you guys are making me dizzy.
haha
Karen C.
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Denise, I struggle every day with walking the fine line between being a total nag to Dave and looking out for his best interests. This isn't a fair comparison because it sounds like he has a somewhat stronger will, at least outwardly, than your Mom, and I really don't need to nag him. But what I have learned is that it does no good to nag to the point that you make someone made at your or they don't want you around. Back off a little on that - she may not be doing herself as much harm as you think. You're just afraid for her.
Why not just tell her that you love her and that is why you are such a nag, but from now on you will try to less of a nag, but that you are always there for her?
I completely understand all of your emotions, I don't know what else to say, but that I'm behind you all the way. It's really hard to stand back and let your loved one, the cancer victim, deal with the disease in their own unspoken way, but sometimes you just have to let them.
Keep us posted
We love you,
Karen C.
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Hi everyone, I haven't been on this forum much lately, things had settled down at our house but now Dave will be back in active treatment.
I want to say that I was devastated beyond belief when we found out on Tuesday his cancer was back. But then this morning I was getting ready and I could almost see, visualize, the tumor tissue growing in the porous holes of his sinus bones and I thought, aww, no problem, is THAT all it is? Now I feel a little at peace and less pancky about it.
It's kind of like the light at the end of the tunnel suddenly appeared - I see no more darkness, only light - not even figuratively, I mean literally. And I swear I can feel the presence of Christ standing by me coaching me on these thoughts.
So I am here to help you other caregivers find strength. We can do it. Our strength is there waiting for us whenever we need it.
God Bless us all,
Karen
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No problem with needing a fresh start, so we will miss you, but I think the political turn has turned away.
Best of luck, sometimes folks need to take a deep breath and move away from certain things, which is understandble.
Karen C.
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Yeah, I want to know, too. That is definitely a reason to call the oncologist. don't worry about driving them crazy, they're paid big money to be driven crazy.
Karen C.
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Andrea and everybody. We did not even notice that there was a new General section. We have been so engrossed in our affairs that we just did not notice. Thank you so much for everybody's posts of support to Karen and I under our post an the old General board. Please know that every night you are all included in my prayers. May God bless us and forgive us all our sins. May he watch over us and give us the strength to face the road ahead.
David C
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Cat, I just saw your post here. I am so sorry to hear this news, There is always something that can be done, prayer does wonders and you definitely have my prayers.
David C
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Ginny I am so sorry to hear this news. My prayers are with you and the Duke. We are all here for you.
David C
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I had the same chemo drugs and was in remission for over a year. I elected to have the preventative brain radiation but from what I understand there is no more medical treatments available for SCLC. I do know that you have to have a break before you can start more chemo. Not sure how long but think it may be at least 6 months.
David C
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Beth, I am so sorry. I am sure he will enjoy having a Celebration in his honor. I truely believe that that is the way to say farwell to our loved ones. Please know that you are in my prayers.
David C
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Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!! The ball is rolling right along. I go tomorrow to have lab work done for getting my port a cath re-installed which is scheduled for Monday morning. I will start my chemo regime next Friday. I don't know for sure but I am thinking I will have 2 rounds of chemo before Karen Faith and I go to Glacier National Park in Montana for a family reunion. My family lived in Missoula MT while my dad was getting his Masters Degree at U of MT and my sister, Becky CW, worked at Glacier for several years before she moved to LA. We have been planning this trip for a year and already have our tickets and reservations. You know last year prior to my initial diagnosis we had tickets to go visit my folks and Aunts and Uncles in Texas. We ended up not going and lost our money we had paid for the tickets. I think it is the D*MN plane tickets that is causing this crap. I told Karen a few months ago I AM going to Glacier Park, I didn't care if she had to push me on the plane in a wheel chair. Looks like I will be in the throes of chemo hell but go I will. And D*mn it all, I will have fun!!!!!! I can't wait for a whole week of no more Kerry/Edwards/Bush/Cheney finger pointing and just enjoying my family and the beautiful Rocky Mountains of northern Montana enjoying the childhood memories I have and sharing the experience with Karen and Faith. I am a bachelor tonight. Karen and Faith abandoned me...just kidding she and Faith went over and had dinner with her parents tonight so it is just me and the dogs. I am so glad her parents live close by and that she can visit them. I am so lucky to have a women like Karen in my life. She has been through a lot and I am more sorry that she has to go through this than I am that I do. She does not diserve this. She is so strong. Please keep her in your prayers. The dogs are whinig to go out so I better sign off here. Thanks again for all you thoughts, creative cursing and above all all of your prayers.
David C
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Rachel, Dave had PCI last September and he had memory problems, extreme fatigue, all kinds of stuff like you are experiencing, all the way until this Spring. If you had whole brain radiation which is alot stronger than PCI I am not surprised. His symptoms gradually got better so yours should as well.
Hang in there,
Karen C.
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Dave is going to start on this drug next week and the oncologist just told us yesterday to expect ear ringing. as well as "expedited digestion" and a host of other side effects.
Hang in there and know that it should only be temporary, or, at the very least, it's better than the alternative . . .
Karen C.
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Dear Robert,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ROBERT, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!
(trust me, or ask Dave, you would NOT want to hear me sing this in person, ha!)
I hope you guys have a wonderful birthday get together and I wish I could be there!
Love and God Bless,
Karen C.
Getting Re-ported
in GENERAL
Posted
I am getting my Port-a-cath RE-INSTALLED in the morning.........
We will be dropping off a note to my Onc. on the way to the hospital in the morning because they scheduled a Dr appt and a chemo round for the week we will be going to Montana for a family reunion. I am sure either Karen or I will update you all on how the surgury went. I should be home by noon or so, my surgury is scheduled for 7:30 am.
David C