Remembering Dave
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All I have to say is, yes, Becky was a beautiful person physically and is now beautiful beyond belief in her soul.
I love that photo of her, too.
Karen
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My grandmother lived up in the mountains of WV. About ten miles away was the land of the "homeplace" where she grew up. that property was landlocked and on the side of a small mountain. One time, when I was in my late 20's and she was in her early '80s I guess, we parked the car on the side of the one lane country road near the mountain and walked up to where their house had been. nothing was left but a pile of rocks where the front steps had been, and on either side of the rocks were some old old irises growing, the same ones that grew there when she was a child. so we dug up a bunch and brought them back with us, I took some to my mom and I planted some in the small flower garden on my condo patio and then when Dave and I built our house I dug them up and moved them to our house. When Grandma died, I dug some up from my house and planted them on either side of her marker. they're doing well. but she's in a small country cemetary with no rules.
Kim, one thing I think you could do, is list the names of her children and grandchildren (well, if there might be future grandchildren maybe that would be a tough one) on her marker.
take care, Kim
Karen
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I have read the thing about there being cancer in almost every person's body. It makes sense. we are imperfect beings. I guess the key thing is the trigger. Some of us have genes which are more prone to trigger the cancer, some of us are exposed to carcnigens (sp) that do it, some of us have both . . . and that is why it is so important to take care of our bodies, eat healthy, not use known poisons like cigs. of course you can do all that and still get cancer.
I don't have an answer for the big cig debate. I used to think and part of me still thinks, that anything in moderation can't be that bad. there's no question that cigs are very addictive and that makes them pretty hard to use in moderation. Lots of us use alcohol in moderation and I see plenty of joking about it, but to some people alcohol is a pretty bad addiction as well (but no one wants another prohibition). There are alot of farmers down this way growing tobacco, which I understand is a very difficult crop to grow AND robs the soil of nutrients quickly, so the best first step I guess would be to encourage them to grow something else. Then gradually the entire cigarette industry, from the growers all the way up to the manufacturers/distributers, will go into another business until the whole thing is shut down. I guess.
I dunno. The big debate.
Karen
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Ron is lucky to have such loving family as such powerful advocates. I firmly believe that every patient needs to have at least one strong advocate by their side at all times. Things falls through the cracks and only you and your spouse/partner/lover whoever the advocate is REALLY knows that is going on with you.
Dave had a pericardial window in November. He wasn't anywhere near as SICK, but was so much better afterwards and it is a fairly simply procedure and very simple to diagnose. it makes me mad that Ron was overlooked like that.
His niece is an angel and so is that cardiologist. He is what being a caring physician is all about. Good for him.
This post really touched me.
God Bless,
Karen
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You're a HUGE hero of mine, and I ditto everything Fay A. said.
And don't you give up. Each dawn is a victory, right?
Love,
Karen
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Beth - no moving twice, no way!
And you know,THIS was our dream house! Our house on the river, we built it together. But it doesn't matter any more, and I am ready to give it up and focus on US.
The contract was WEIRD to say the least. we mostly shook our heads and laughed at it. we will take it seriously and counter offer, but other than the pontoon boat it contained lots of weird contingencies that didn't really make any sense. So our realtor, James, wrote down all our questions (and his) and is going to talk to the other realtor today. We want to figure out what it is they WANT before we make a counteroffer so we can get close to the middle. They had written in all kinds of things like they wanted to close right away, after they sell their rental property in Florida, which isn't on the market yet, but will be soon (what is soon?) but then again, they might want to close and rent back to us, which would be doing us a big favor (why would it?). Strange stuff. either the realtor is an idiot or he's a terrible messenger boy for some strange folks. James must not have heard back from him yet since I haven't heard from james today. Compound all of this with Dave practically propped up at the table suffering from some intense chemo brain. poor thing.
And I saw a new house on the market today that I liked, had a nice half acre lot, but no garage, but the asking price was low enough we could have one built. and I called Dave and tried to get him to look at it on the internet but he couldn't 'cause of the bad chemo brain so I'm sitting here with no one to get excited with. Poor me (ha).
Everything will fall into place at just the right time, I am sure.
Sounds like we need to throw a farewell to Chapman Acres party with pontoon boat rides before we move - Frank and Cindi, ya'll coming?
Karen
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Our realtor is coming over this evening with a contract to present to us - offer to buy the house - not asking price but getting closer to it! Dave is home sleeping off chemo and not aware of the plan, but we have to address it this evening and he has to be involved. The potential purchasers have asked for some odd things, like throwing in our pontoon boat.
Of course there's not a single house in the area we want to move to, on the market now, that I'd buy! BUT, houses are being sold before they even hit the MLS, or hours after. so maybe we'll get our luck break and the perfect house will come available right when we need it!
So, we need good luck on the selling and the buying ends of things!
Karen
p.s. I'm kinda excited!
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Dave had one whopper of a pericardial effusion and didn't even know it. no pain. he might have had a bit of shortness of breath, but not enough to make him complain. of course, Dave can take alot before he complains.
sorry to be late answering this, wish I'd seen it yesterday. but I didn't get on the internet yesterday. every time I got anywhere near laptop Faith was all over me "me help me help" and then we HAD to play the Blues Clues game CD.
Take care,
Karen
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I think the second thing you said is correct. In other words, today Dave got 10 mgs of topotecan. and that's it for the week. He was getting 11 mg spread out over five days. I think the mililiter thing refered to the flow rate or something? I'm not sure, I asked the NP what that meant and she just sorta mumbled something. but bottom line is I think he got 10 mg of topotecan today.
Karen
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Just saw this, and am sorry she had that bad cold, but it gave me time to say:
BEST OF LUCK TO DEAR ANDREA'S MOTHER, AND PRAYERS FOR A SUCCESSFUL PROCEDURE AND A QUICK RECOVERY.
God Bless a wonderful family,
Karen
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Addie:
OK, let's see if I got this dosing right:
Dave has been getting 11 mg of topotecan. They are reducing it to 10 mg today. He went in for labs and chemo, his hemaglobin is holding steady at 10.5, his platelets were a whopping 86,000, up from 36,000 last week! But he annoucned that he no longer wanted the "Addie plan" for chemo, he wants it all in one day. He swears that it makes him feel worse, for longer, getting it over five days. So, after much discussion with the NP and with her going back and forth to the onco doc, they agreed to let him have it all today, and "waived" their requirement that the platelets be 100,000 for the one day treatment.
anyway, she said that when it's given over the five days, it's given 1 mg per cubic liter, give in one day 3.5 or 4 mg per cubic liter. Not sure if she said cubic liter or volume or what. does that make sense?
Karen
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Betty, Dave read your post out loud to me yesterday and I can't get you off my mind. Reading your words just now makes my heart sink. You have been so wonderful and kind to Dave and I, and a real model for fighting. I am praying that God will heal you. And I am worried about you - how comfortable you are, how much help you have, how much company you have. I know you have that wonderful tenant, anyone else taking care of you? Your sister?
Like someone else has mentioned, your words "Every Dawn is a Victory" has really gotten to me over the last few months. Whenever I get down about what we, Dave and I, are going through, those words of yours will lift me up and make me realize that each day is a gift. thank you for that.
God Bless you my dear,
Karen
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Good luck to you, both, I KNOW you will do fine and will be one big step closer to NED!
God Bless,
Karen
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Betty, I am so sorry to hear this news. I will be praying for you. You have always been there for me. Please let us know how you are doing. Don't give up the fight. Miracles happen everyday. Why not have one for you?!?!?
David C
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Gosh, Addie, that's awesome. I love it. now, if we can just keep Dave's blood counts up enough to get more of that topotecan in him, he may just catch up with you!
poor guy, he's just so tired. he doesn't seem any stronger after that transfusion. which I guess means the topo is in there working still. he's supposed to go in for chemo Monday morning and we both doubt he gets it, his platelets were 36,000 on Wednesday.
but you're giving us some really good HOPE, which is what we are all here for, and for that I am so very grateful!
God Bless,
Karen
p.s. vanilla vodka? gotta give that a whirl, even though the last few years, just one little drink seems to do a real number on me!
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Fay -
YOU GO GIRL.
I think it's a great idea. And I don't think you're crazy. I think it stinks that the illness of one organ disqualifies you for a transplant of another organ. Sounds good to me, just replace all of 'em.
Dave and I are going to try to start walking. He wants to desperately, but poor thing, he is SO TIRED all the time. Vicious circle. Walking may or may not give him more energy at this point, his body is so beat up. But you're giving me some inspiration.
And, by the way, didn't you tell me once that there's alot of hills around your house? so you need to give yourself extra credit for that.
Happy Trails!
Karen
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Ha! too good to be true, eating choc. will cure cancer. well, like everything else, it's one compound, not the whole delicious package that does the work.
thanks for sharing.
Karen
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I'd better let those folks who've actually had lung surgery answer your question. I hear it can be kind of rough. I just wanted to wish you well and hope that this, and some chemo, is IT for you. It sounds like you caught it fairly early - good job!
God Bless and good luck,
Karen
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Addie - Dave and I were talking - it would be hard to compare your dosage of topotecan to his - it's given by your weight, and he's a BIG GUY. PM me if you want to know how big! So it would be hard to compare. But we remembered the onco doc saying he gets ALOT, and alot of that is due to his size.
Saw the radiation onco doc today, just for a double check on everything, he thinks there's still something in the liver but didn't have the last scan to compare it to, so says we should defer to the hospital radiologist who says NED. Radiation doc sees it on the film, but says could be some sort of scarring or fatty tissue that is "faking" him out. so we'll stick with the status quo!
Karen
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1. Dave is getting better I think
2. Ginnyde
3. Dave and Faith
4. Justakid is getting better
5. Thank you God, for my life
Karen
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That's a good vent. go for it.
By the way, Philip Morris USA moved their corporate headquarters here to Richmond from NYC. We already have a whole bunch of Philip Morris employees here, in fact, for many many years they were the largest employer in Richmond, now capital one is. Anyway, an old, dear friend of mine, her husband works for them, and I told her once after Dave's diagnoses that I could NEVER work for them, no matter how well they paid, etc., it wasn't a confrontational type conversation at all, I just mentioned it, and she looked at me like I had insulted her mother or something. that's the way people are around here. I said, hey, nothing against anyone who DOES work there, but for one, my allergies couldn't stand the cig smoke (they can smoke in their offices and do - in fact, the law firm I worked at for 16 years does most of their work and thus, does not ban smoking in the office) and I told her, on principle, how could I go work for them after Dave got lung cancer from smoking? She wasn't convinced but I don't care.
So there is my related vent.
Karen
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I just saw this and the question really grabbed at me.
I think everyone handles grief in their own way and I don't think it should matter what you wear, how you act, or how much you go out. Everyone should respect the way you want to work through it. If you want to wear the brightest of colors, you should. heck, it would probably cheer you up some.
I hate to say this, but I have thought alot in the last couple of months about how I would act if I lost Dave . . . and I have decided that I would do nothing different. I would wear the same clothes, get up and go to work (after I am able to that is), take Faith to school, fix the same food, go out with the same friends. I would never even consider changing any of my habits out of any sign of respect. In fact, Dave would want me to carry on. The important thing is that he is never ever forgotten, especially by our daughter, and I will do everything I can to keep his image and influence in our home. That being said, I don't plan on losing him any time soon. But after getting the last, awful diagnoses that he got a few months ago, I admit to being guilty of THINKING about it.
Margaret, I want you to know how much I really admire you. You are a strong, good, kind hearted, wonderful person. I just wanted to say that.
God Bless,
Karen
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well, darn it all, but I'm sure glad your problem had an easy solution and the rest of your ticker is still doing just fine. and I hope like heck that the radiation does more than relieve Lucie's pain, I hope it zaps that darn bone met to death.
Glad you got the cruise in, though. Good work on that one, except, Don, you waited until you got home from the cruise to attend to the arm thing? Aren't you supposed to not let any heart issues wait?
Hang in there, and prayers and blessings to the both of you.
God Bless,
Karen
Update on us
in GENERAL
Posted
Peggy, so glad your husband is holding steady. He may be draggy this week because he overdid it a bit last week because he felt so well? Dave will do that.
I will include your son in my prayers. I'm so sorry he's having to go through this.
Lots of love and God Bless,
Karen