AnneBurris

Mr. and Mrs. Mike, I really appreciate your reply to my post. I actually just called the Cancer Treatment Center there today to ask for a free video they have to offer, I should be getting that in the mail within a couple of days. How is Mike doing? I'm so glad you have found a place that gives you hope and comfort. I'm going to look into Tulsa and propose that to my mother and father. Thanks again.

Hello everyone, My mom and I traveled to Kansas City, St. Lukes for a second opinion just since second opinions seem highly suggested. It was a little disappointing in that the Oncologist didn't seem well prepared to meet us, meaning I don't think he went over my mom's case until we were actually in front of him. I can't really say that he was all that encouraging, but then again my mother was just diagnosed 20 days ago, I don't know that his prognosis would vary all that much from the first onc, but at least he didn't give her a nine-month death sentence like the first onc. One thing that did concern me was that he thought radiation was not going to be part of her treatment. I was surprised to hear him say that so early on, I figured that wouldn't be determined after her first 3 scheduled chemos. Does anyone know anything about that, meaning when does one normally find out whether they will be having radiation? My mom's hair started falling out in big clumps a few days ago, we first went with cutting it short, then I shaved it yesterday. I think that really hit her hard, as it does with everyone I'm sure. Anyhow, I can tell that she's pretty depressed right now. She said today that she wished she had some "goals" to work towards. I asked her if she wanted to return to work, she said no. She didn't really seem to know exactly what goals to plan for herself, let me know if you have any suggestions. I've been reading the message board often and get so much from it. I've got you all on my prayer list.

Dear Debbie, I can understand your feelings of dispair when it comes to helping your mother. I am 29, my mother was diagnosed 20 days ago with extensive small cell lung cancer with mets to liver, bones and lymph nodes, and I feel like I'm trying to fight her battle for her. I go through different stages of feelings - one day I try to fight the fight for her, the next I've got myself convinced that if she doesn't want to fight then I just have to accept it. I've only been through this for less than a month, so I certainly am no expert or have the "right" answer. I think the best thing that you can do is to have a gentle, loving approach with her, at the same time informing yourself and her as much as possible about her disease. One thing that my mom doesn't do that I don't agree with is quit smoking. We spoke about it once, I asked her in a kind way why she didn't want to try and she explained to me exactly why. I had to respect her decision, and not say anymore about it. I figure the time that I have with her is precious, and I don't want to argue with her. You should be as open as possible with your mother about all decisions that are made so that no one has any regrets or ever wonders "why". Love your mother to the fullest, let her know how special she is. Keep the faith. Anne

Hello, everyone. What a relief to find a message board and forum for just SCLC folks! My name is Anne Burris, I live in Wichita, Ks I am 29 and am the daughter to my mother who was just diagnosed with SCLC on 5/5/03 (my birthday ) with mets to liver, bones and lymph nodes. My father is married to my mother, I have an 19 year old sister (attends college out of state) and a 31 year old brother (living out of state) Once I was told of my mother's diagnosis I immediately went from working full time to working part time out of my home so that I could do everything possible to help her (wasn't that difficult, i was going to work from home anyhow after I have my baby, i'm 7 months preg, baby is due on 8/2, my mom's bday) . She was only given 9 months to live by this very "busy" oncologist, so busy in fact he dropped the bomb on us in just a matter of 5 minutes saying "you'll win some battles, but not the war", gave us a handshake and left the hospital - haven't seen him since. As far as I'm concerned those words took the wind out of my mother's sails and took any hope that she could have had. I am trying so hard just to give her hope so that she will fight this battle, she says she wants to fight it, but I just don't see the fire in her. Anyhow, we are going to St. Lukes in Kansas City on Wed 29th to meet with a different Oncologist referred to me by an ALCASE phone buddy, Barbara Mayfield, you may have heard of her. Anyway, the purpose of this trip is just to make sure the treatment protocol that my mother is on is the right one, and hopefully this dr will be a little more encouraging than the last onc she saw. Anyhow, I'll be posting updates (also hope to get a picture of me and mom here soon), i'm so glad to read your postings, and will certainly be praying for you. I think the best part of this whole thing is seeing just how wonderful people are and knowing that people care. I'll be praying for you all. Talk to you soon.