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Nick C

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Posts posted by Nick C

    I feel almost ashamed

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    No one here is going to judge you, if we've learned anything, it is that we all have dealt with this thing called loss differently.

    I know after mom was diagnosed I stayed away from alcohol completely because I knew it would be too easy for me. I went I think 3 - 4 months without a drop...but during that time I felt EVERY feeling sharply. So I can understand that being hard for a lot of peop...it was hard for me.

    One thing I did do was the week mom died I found a couselor. I wasn't sitting in a dark place sayng I need help...I did it to head things off at the pass. I didn't want to get stuck in a rut. And it REALLY helped.

    I think you've done a great job of challenging yourself...getting out when you didn't feel like it. It has still only been 2 months...grief lingers and it sometimes gets very intense after a period where it is not. You aren't experiencing anything abnormal.

    Things that helped me that I think will help you

    COUNSELLING - it is great knowing you can talk and say anything you want because it's your dime.

    COMMUNITY - Church wasn't the biggest support for me at my time of loss, but it wass nice knowing it was there. There are a few folks who I will always remember at the time of my mom's passing. One guy, easily 350lbs when he heard came up to me and gave me a hug that I thought would break me in half (I'm not small so I had never experienced someone bigger and stronger grabbing me) and I will never forget the emotion he conveyed to me through the hug. Another gentleman shared that he lost his mom 18 years earlier, and with a little tear in his eye assured me I would always miss her, but I will be able to live life again. And one woman there prayed with me for mom when she was sick and with me after mom died. I know church isn't for everyone, but I think these are the times to recognize it may have a part to play.

    PHARMA - Yes, under a docs supervision, you may need the anti anxiety help, but don't undo the doctors orders by including your own perscripttion, easier said than done, but there are other pharma help which may help you stay away from the alchohol.

    US - keep typing, know that we all live different lives, and maybe not everyone responds, but we hear you and we're on this journey with you and we want you to know we are pulling for you.

    brain mets

    in MEMBER UPDATES

    Posted

    Anne I was going to suggest what Kasey said. WBR you get one shot at...if you do Gamma or cyber knife, you MAY still be able to do WBR if neccesary later, but ask the rad onc what he thinks. Good luck, we're all pulling for you.

    My mom has passed

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I have felt your words in the past...I'm feeling them with you today. I am so sorry.

    Your mom did an amazing job equipping you to handle this in such a brave and together way.

    We will be here. We know.

    Dad - suggestions?

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    This might seem wierd, but does he have a computer? It is a great wway to connect with a broader range of folks. And I know whhen I felt lonely without my mom, it felt good to connect with folks here.

    It isn't a proxy for real life relationships, but it is SOMETHING that might help him not be dependent on the wrong real liffe relationship.

    There is also the singles scene on line...yes that has its...issues...potentially, but its a possibility.

    I get the 700 people town thing, but what more "bustling" area is within driving distance? Look there for events, groups, a big church...

    I don't know...just brain storming.

    I wanna wake up please?

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I have to give you a lot of credit!!!!

    You are doing great. I know it doesn't feel like it, but, you went out...you prepping for thanksgiving, you are getting the helpp you need right noww.

    Michelle, you are doing great, I think we're all proud of you!!

    Keep hanging in...

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