Sonia Owen

I would like to read 90 minutes in heaven, by Don Piper. I looked on Google search engine about the book, one web page showed the author telling you a little about what happened to him. I have asked for signs from my Dad and I think I have had a few. If he ever found any money on the pavement he would pick it up. I have found two pennies on differant days. One very near to where my Mum lives, and one where I live. Also a robin very near to my home, singing in a bush. I went over and stood very close to the bird, and he did not move. Robins are very frigtened birds and take off, as soon as you go anyway near them. This is the second time I have seen this same bird. I have asked my Dad for a signs, and I feel in my heart that this is him. Its a nice feeling. My brother gave my Mum a book he had made using pictures of Dad when he was a boy, when he met Mum. Pictures of us three when we were children. His grandchildren, and many bits about his life for her to look at and we are sure she will find comfort from looking at them all. Take care all Love Sonia UK

My Mum keeps asking me, what do you think Dad is doing now.He passed away on March 12th. I try to answer her, but I am not sure quite what is the right reply to keep giving her. Sonia UK

Our Dad would have been so proud of his family and certainly would have loved the day. We did the service oursleves.Had his two favorite hymns.My brother did one of the reflections of his life. And my Son did another for all his six grandchildren. We left the service to Celine Dion, singing My Heart will go on. I thought I would share with you some of our readings. A bouquet of beautiful memories, Sprayed with a thousand tears. You could lift me up and carry me when my best was not enough. You helped us all at times of trouble when the going just got too tough. You were my source of inspiration. You were my friend, my help, my Dad. You will always be in our thoughts and we loved you. God saw you getting tired, When a cure was not to be, He wrapped his arms around you, And whispered come to me. So keep your arms around him Lord, And give him special care, Make up for all his suffering, And all that seemed unfair. Our memories of you will never fade, You might be gone, but your love will stay, And our thoughts will never fade away, We will always see your star in the sky, Our Grandad. Two tired eyes are sleeping, Two weary hands are still, You are resting at Gods will. Grandad, we've all had so many happy years, Laughs smiles and even probably some tears, The sunny days out we looked forward to, And weekend there was always so much to do, Trips to the seaside, the sweets that you bought, Always a treat was what we tought, Sat in the shed for hours on end, Something to build or something to mend, Down in the garage repairing the car, Building a whatnot with tools from a jar, Collecting the apples and pears from up in the tree, Cones of ice cream and always a cup of tea, Then around the table we all sat, Sunday dinner in the kitchen and mud soaked shoes on the mat, Then a walk down the road for a few pints of beer, Always a joke and always a tale, Then off back home for a sleep in the chair, These are the days that we would all share, One day a chance to work in the U S of A, Off you did go but you never stayed away, You made our days bright, much more than the sun, When we think, back and remember you, We know we won't have to feel so blue, We'll think back to the happy times we all spent together, This is how we'll remember you, now and forever. It was so special to us all, and we look back pride of how Mum and his children looked after him, like he did us when we needed him. He was very proud of us. I didnot want to leave his flowers,at the crematorium, so we all shared them out between us. I have mine laying on my front lawn,as I open my curtains each morning I smile when I see them, so perfect, I will leave them there till they fade into the ground. I wanted to share this with you all as I have shared my feelings over the last few months. Thankyou all. I am praying for everyone, thinking of Melinda and family right now. Sonia xxx

Your husband doesnot mean any of what must seem to you very cruel statments. We often hurt the ones we love when we are frightened,and can't understand what is happening to us. You know in your heart of hearts that you have done everything possible and more for him.He's really lashing out as it is so unfair having to leave you and your children,and he still wants to share his life with you all. I wish I were near by so I could help you as you did me through your mails. I can't so I sent you all my families love and prayers, for the coming days. God Bless Sonia UK XXXX

Our Dad passed away very peacefully this morning at 8.30 our time. He is safe with God's arms around him now. We are happy in a strange way that he was with his family and we kept him with us in his home. Thankyou for all your love support during the last few months that I have been with you all. Sonia UK XXX

My Dad is still fighting, we are not sure how long his body will beable to carry on. As from Wed he has incontinence troubles,so he now has to wear pads. His pride and dignity is going. He can't help what is happening to him, losing his muscle control. Mum will not allow him to go to hospital,maybe the hospice, but she wants him to be at home till the end. We are all there to support her with what she wants. She would hate to have him pass away in a hospital bed. I stayed with Dad on Thursday night so Mum could have a good nights sleep. I shall do it again for a few nights next week. My brother is staying this weekend to to help Mum and Dad. At least Dad doesnot seem to be in too much pain. Its a day at a time, we have none of us ever been through this cancer journey,but we feel we are doing everything possible to make the time comfortable and as happy as we can for him and us. I am thinking about Melinda and he husband during my days, all our prayers are with her at this time. Thankyou Sonia UK XXX

I needed a good cry today,to let go of all my sad feelings. It did me good,a relief to let all my emotions from the last few weeks come out of me. I now feel I can carry on with what is in front of us. Saw Dad today, he seems very confused, saying and thinking strange things,as if he is dreaming,it's if he can't make out what is real. Talking to himself alot. He still know's who and what we are saying to him and answers us ok. All this started yesterday, but since this occured he doesnot seem to be in as much pain as he was before. If the confusion should get really bad then we will have to bring the Doctor in to see what can be done. Thought we might need the help from the hospice, but we don't just yet after all. The hospice team will just watch over him so he can stay at home with his family. My prayers are with all the friends I have made who also have cancer in their lives.Thankyou Sonia UK XXX

Thankyou for all the support you have given me during the terrible time I am going through right now. We all need,to get things out of our minds you would go mad if you did'nt. I feel if I want to say what I am thinking then I can right here. You don't feel you are getting on anyones nerves. Some people don't know the right things to say to you, not everyone understands how you feel.And it sometimes hard to explain things to people who don't really understand what cancer can do to all your families lifes. Take care Love Sonia UK XX

Today my Dad is in a very bad way. Just spoke to Mum, she said he is talking and rambling, and none of it is making any sence. She has had to sit with him all day. He can't do anything for himself now. When the hospice was mentioned a few weeks ago, he got upset and did not want to got when the Doctor asked him to go. Maybe he won't have much of a choice left open to him or us now. I feel frightened for him, not knowing if he can make sence of anything or what is happening to him. All the family came at the weekend to see him, maybe that will be the last time. I want to remember him as I saw him yesterday, but we have to see it through for his sake. Had to get this down and out of my head Thankyou. Sonia uk

Please hear my prayers for this special family,look after them all during the coming days. They will be showed which way to go,by the angel that watches over them. Soni xx

We call our Doctor out this afternoon to see Dad,as he said his eye vision was strange. He came out and said this happens with cancer,but he has only known it happen with one eye,not both of them.I was not there myself,as I was at work. Has anyone else heard of this happening to the eyes. Thankyou for any help on this one. Sonia UK X

Hi Lori, Yes, I can buy this book on Amazon over here, thanks for the mail. Sonia UK X

Hi Lori, Thankyou for your kind mail,and your suggestion to read the book final gift, not sure if we can buy it in the UK. I will try my library, just to see. Bye Sonia x

My Prayers are with Grace and their girls. Maybe the stars in the sky are openings where loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy,safe and in no pain. I don't know how much time we will all have left with our Dad. He can't get out of bed now,gets out of breath just sitting on the edge. Not eating very much, so are giving him special drinkable foods from our Doctor. The Doctor said he could arrange for time to be spent in our local hospice, but Dad got quite upset and said he didnot want to go. So the Doctor said they would do all they can to see he is comfortable at home. It's horrible to watch him so helpless, it makes you wonder how long your spirit and body can take this. I feel so mean thinking things like I don't want him to go on like this,wasting away. I can't help thinking what must be going through his mind. He said to Mum two days ago, I think I am dying, she said don't be silly. Maybe people know, as his mind is still sharp. Thankyou for letting me put my feelings down on this mail, as it sort of takes it out of my head when I have written it down. God Bless Sonia Uk

You feel guilty for trying to keep your own family life going,as well as doing what you can for your Mum. It's hard to be normal,its a balancing act for you. You are doing so well.I am sure your Mum doesnot mean the things she says to you,she is really annoyed with the cancer,not you,its just her way of putting the guilty on someone else,and it just happens to be you.None of this is your fault,she see's you carrying on with what you have to do each day. Try and take each day as it comes. Keep strong,as you need your own family and life. Take care Sonia UK

Two days ago we rang our cancer nurse to ask for some help for Mum being the main carer with Dad. Two nurses came today, to see what is needed to be done to help. They will be coming in twice a day to wash and dress him in the mornings and get him ready for bed at night times. He is so weak, and where he has said no to certain suggestions, he is now agreeing as we have all said it is to help us all,as he is in pain and we fear him falling or us hurting him. We would hate for him to fall and break a bone. Its horrible to see him just bones, no muscles left. They are also bringing a special liquid food which will be easier to digest, if he doesnot want solid foods. He has also been refered to go to the hospice when the time is right. It makes me so sad to see what has happened to him over the last few months. But when I see him I try to be as normal as possible, and know deep down this help is for the best,it can't be done in the same way alone. I am praying for Grace and her family,and their guardian angel is with them all. Thankyou for just letting me write my feelings and thoughts down tonight. I know I am not alone, as there are some wonderful brave people out there giving love prayers and support to others. Not one of them are selfish and just think of themsleves, but they do understand how others feel and I bless you all for that. Since I found you I have found comfort and a place to ask what I don't understand and there has always been an answer for me.The replies have been most helpful. Goodnight Love Sonia UK

Saw my dad today,he can't get warm,the heating is full on. He has hot water bottles around him and a cover over him. Mum got him a warm hat to wear,as they say you lose so much heat from your head.He looks so weak, and just wanted to go to bed. It must be his circulation is not working. Am I right? Sonia UK

My Dad saw the Cancer Doctor this morning,he has lost some more weight since his last visit before Christmas. We asked her all the questions that we wanted answers to and she told us honestly why certain things are happening. She does not want to see him again, but has given us a open appointment to see her again if we need to. She asked if it was just Mum and the family who are caring for Dad at home,as it is. She said we can have the help from the Macmillan cancer nurses with Dad in his daily care,or they can just come round for a chat and give you support in any way that they can if and when you might need it.So at least we know we can have some extra care and help if we feel we need it. It seems to me as if there is nothing more that the Doctor can do for Dad, other than be there for us if we need help. Its a case of Dad being with his family, where he should be on this horrible cancer journey. We know that we are giving him the best care that we can and will continue to to so for as long as possible. We have just got our own dog,from the Labrador Rescue Trust,he is 17 months old, black called Ash. He needed a home, and we feel he is a great help to us at this time. It's good to take him for walk, clears my head. He has been with us for just over a week,so its time to take him to see Dad,it will be nice for him to talk to Ash. In the early 90's my Dad worked in the U.S.A. for a few years he loved it. He was a toolmaker engineer, in Cleveland in Ohio,home of the Browns. Well thanks for letting me ramble on tonight. God Bless Sonia

Thankyou all for your replies to my last mail. All your comments were very helpful. I saw my Dad again late last night had a chat with him, about all that had happened during the morning. Explained that we needed to talk to the Cancer nurse, so as to make sure we were doing things right for him. He said that if he has to go into hospital at any time for a few days then he would, so long as he can come home again, which he would do I am sure.He said he wants to be with us all, his family.Had a good night,no more blood at the moment. Mum thanked me for just doing what I did and for just being there for them. I gave her a big hug and said she is doing so well caring for Dad. I shall be glad when he has seen the cancer doctor on Monday,and he has been given all Dad's latest condition. About his sickness, sometimes coughing up blood, the pain and not being able to walk without help.You never know what each day will bring,you want to be normal sometimes but when you do. You feel that its wrong when, so many people would just love to also. I find taking my new dog for walks a great help. God Bless All. I see from our news that parts of the U.S.A. have had some terrible weather. God Bless to All. Sonia UK

My Mum rang me this morning to tell me that my Dad was coughing up alot of blood. He did'nt want the doctor to be called, but Mum was concerned about it. So I rang our cancer nurse, she said if it was a real concern then it would be best to ring the A&E department at the hospital and get them to come and take him into hospital. If we were to ask for our own Doctor to come for a home visit, it would not be till this afternoon,after his morning surgery, and he would only say to do as she had said. Went down to Dad's before work and he said he did not want to go into hospital and he was ok,what can you do. You can't make him do things against his will. It's the not knowing what to do for the best sometimes. If we can just get through the weekend then fine. As he has an appointment with the cancer Doctor on Monday afernoon and my brother who is going with them will tell the Doctor, what is happening at the moment. I felt like crying,but I won't in front of them, for Mum's sake and I had to go to work which is good for me. Writing this down gets out of my system thankyou for your support when I feel I need it. Sonia UK

Hi Ann, So glad you also found this site. Like you I found it a few weeks ago, and it has been great comfort and a very special place to me when I need it, just to write my thoughts down with people who understand. I too live in the UK. My Dad has lung cancer,and I find it hard as people still don't like the word cancer in this country. I hope you find that you can talk and say what you want when ever here. God Bless you all. Sonia

Can anyone give me a idea what stage they think my Dad's cancer is at, we don't know anything much about stages, he has not coughed up any blood for awhile . He said to me today,that the painkillers that the Doctor gave him last Friday, which are stronger than the last lot, are not having much effect. He also said his bones were digging into him with all the weight that has come off his body,no real muscles left on his bones,he wouldnot have the bone scan that he was offered. He has to see the cancer Doctor at the hospital next Monday morning. My brother will be taking them both for the appointment, as Dad will need a wheelchair to take him from the car to the clinic. Maybe we will get some answers, but sometimes I don't think Dad wants to know the answers. Sonia UK

I am so sorry to hear what was said to you after your meeting to see this Doctor. I said a prayer for you today, and know God must have heard. I felt the answer in my heart although he spoke no words. I didn't ask for wealth or fame(Iknew you would'nt mind) I asked him to send treasures of a far more lasting kind. I asked that he'd be near you at the start of each new day, to grant you health and blessings and friends to share your way. I asked for happiness for you in all things great and small, but it was for his loving care I prayed the most of all. Take care bth Sonia UK

After seeing my Dad today, I felt great sadness, it was his birthday last week and we had another cake with our cup of coffee this morning.We put a candle on the top, lit it and sang Happy Birthday to him. I know he enjoyed such a simple family thing. He looks so very thin now, and can hardly walk around the room without help from Mum. She said he had been very sick yesterday.We try to take Mum out on Sundays for a break,as he wants her to go out. She would not go today as she did'nt want to leave him alone.Grant me the sernity to accept the things I can not change,courage to change the things I can to help them both during this sad journey. Sonia UK

I have found out so much from reading all the imformation about cancer from these web pages and all the lovely messages that have been sent for me.It has helped me so much to understand many of the differant feelings we go through and why while taking care of my Dad. The very strong people here with cancer and their loved ones. I have find since I joining your group,a feeling of not being alone anymore. Many Thanks from Sonia UK