Debaroo
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Posts posted by Debaroo
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Connie, I am so sorry for your loss. So very, very sorry. Deb
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Fay, You said it!!! (APPLAUSE!) Deb
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Don, I am so glad that Lucie is improving. I know that in China they had concerns regarding a type of pnemonia that seemed to be linked to the Iressa. They had alot of problems with it and it seemed to be linked to the Iressa, but I don't know that they ever came to a final conclusion.
You and Lucie have been and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, we are here for you. Deb
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Ginny, I am glad that you posted an update about you and Earl. It is so difficult, the toll that this disease takes-physically and emotionally.
When my dad was suffering from the effects of the fluid in his lungs-he was so physically weak, he would loose his breath just going from a lying down to a sitting up position. It was very frightening.
One day when I went to visit with my kids, I'd left them in the car while I looked in the window to make sure Dad wasn't asleep-I didn't want to wake him. Upon looking in, I saw Daddy...he was sitting in an arm chair in the living room-just staring into space. He looked so fragile, and so tired. He didn't even notice that I was there. Even when I did knock-it took a few seconds for him to zone in again. He would zone out, even when you were sitting with him.
I think that the emotional toll is affected so greatly by the physical toll of the treatment, and the disease. It all just is so connected. I think that is probably the case with your Earl. The chemo reaks havoc on the body, and when that happens, it makes it difficult for the person to be 'themselves'.
Ada and Don and Norme were right. It takes time to bounce back from such potent medications as chemo. I think that Earl will begin to have more good days, and the more often they happen-the more he will be himself again. Try not to worry...ok, that was dumb. Just try to remember that, unfortunatly, the fatigue, and psychological effects of the disease and treament are par for the course.
You and Earl are in my thoughts and prayers. Please continue to keep us posted, we're here for you. Take care, Deb
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I am so sorry for your loss. The poem you posted was beautiful. I hope that you find comfort in your memories of your wonderful mother. Deb
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Oh, Shelly, I am so-so sorry for your losing your mom. I pray for you and your family to have the strength that you need to get through this. I just don't know what to say, I am so sad for you. Please accept my condolences. Please continue on here. I hope that you know that we all care about you very much. Deb
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Cathy, I hope that the Dr's can find out what is going on and take care of your dad ASAP. It is good that they think it is something that they can clear up. You're in my prayers. Deb
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Well, dad was improving a bit, if you remember his appetite had returned and he was on an upswing. Now the penduleum swings back the other way, his appetite is diminished again-and he is sooo pail. Went to the onc. for chemo yesterday(friday)-weekly treatment-and they couldn't give it to him. He is severely anemic, is actually in the hospital for the next 8 hours for a blood transfusion. He was put on iron pills last week, but I guess it just wasn't enough to help the anemia.
Also, he has been having severe pain in his left shoulder blade (the same side that he had the pleaurosis talc procedure done). It is excruciating. He can't sit up or stand without intense pain, and he is lying down ALOT. He said that he can tell this is a 'different' type of pain-not his usual bad back problems. He is scared and worried and sick and tired of being sick and tired. A bone scan is scheduled for Monday-the doctors mentioned that it could be a broken rib from the talc procedure thing-I wish theyd have done an x-ray right away-just for a clue. I want the bone scan, too, but an x-ray would be so much faster.
I feel like that line from the Godfather III, you know the one where Sonny is trying to get out of the mob- but the family dosn't let him. Its the same thing with the f*#$ing cancer ---just when I think Dad is improving-the cancer 'pulls him back in'. I feel like Daddy is a fish at the end of a fishing line-he pulls and pulls and starts to get some headway, and then the cancer starts to reel him back in...It sucks.
On a good note, Thursday was Moms last chemo treatment. So, thats good. I just want them to have one last trip, one last period of time-however brief-where they both feel generally ok (it dosnt' have to be great, but good would be nice) and can acutally enjoy life-even just for a little while.
In a few weeks my whole family is supposed to all go to my Uncles house (one of Dads brothers) in upstate new york for a family reunion-(we havn't seen my Dads side of the family in about 25 years-long story) but if things continue to be like this, Dad said there is no way he could make the trip. As it is, my parents cancelled the October trip to Disney that they were going to take with my husband and our two girls.
Can this post BE MORE DEPRESSING?
Sorry guys. I feel like one of those cheesy novellas - 
lets see -all we need is a drout that destroys the crops 
, the bank threatening to forclose on our land ; maybe throw in an earthquake , oh-and lets not forget the burgermeister-meisterburger making it illegal for children to have toys 
.... 
Ok, I'm getting too obnoxious, even for me. Just asking for a few prayers. I know I don't even have to ask. I guess I just needed to get it all out. I hope you all know that you are in my prayers; that I think of you all often.
Hopefully-very soon-the good news forum will get so filled up that it will have to be archived and a new string will have to be started!!!!!!!!!!
Take care, guys. And thank you for being here. It is such a comfort knowing you are all here. Thanks... Deb
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for my mom
in HOPE
You and your mom have been in my prayers Shelly, and will continue to be. Please know that. I only wish that I could do more. Deb
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Luluc, my dad had this procedure just about a month ago. It seems to have been successful. His breathing had improved after the procedure, but not as much as we would have liked. Than his doctors saw that he was anemic (which also will make breathing very difficult, as there are not enough red blood cells to carry oxygen to the lungs and heart) and since he was put on Iron pills his breathing has improved even more. I know that there is a chance that the fluid could come back, but so far, so good. I hope this was of some help to you. Take care, and keep us posted. Deb
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Connie, You are in my prayers. After reading your post I remembered a proverb that I'd once read "kites fly highest against the wind". The wind may be kicking up for you right now, but you've got two important things in your favor that will help you soar up, over, and through this thing-great doctors and a great attitude (not to mention your family here, all praying and rooting for you)-so you have three, oh, and your family and that trip to Disney that you're taking your granddaughter on, so thats four, five, and your husband, six...actually, you have ALOT going for you...EVERYTHING, and we are here for you. We love you, Connie. Deb
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Faylene, I am sure your mom was equally proud to have you all dance in her honour-what a beautiful tribute. It is so wonderful that the tradition of dance has been passed down from your mother to you and then your daughters, and, in time, they will pass the tradition to their children. You must be so proud. Take care, Deb
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Maincoon, I am also so sorry for you loss of your Margaret. I am glad that you posted her picture, it looks like she is 'toasting' to something-it looks like a happy picture. Your posts were truly moving, and your love so beautifully described in your words. Deb
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Shirley, I am so sorry for you loss. It is beautiful that you were able to see miracles during such a difficult time. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Deb
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Rana, I hope you had a happy birthday. I know that you must have missed your mother terribly on that day. I mean, a childs birthday is as much of a celebration for the mother as it is for the child. I am sure that you Mom was with you and celebrated her bringing you into this world. Take care, Deb
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Mrs. B, upon my dads diagnosis I called the onc. before my dads first chemo appt. I told him that my dad is pretty upbeat and believes that he can fight, and is up for it, so please do not give dad a doom and gloom attitude-as I feel that his emotional state will have everything to do with how he handles the side effects of chemo as well as how his body helps the chemo fight off the cancer. The dr agreed, he said that he dosn't believe in giving people timelines, as he is not God. Man was I relieved.
My point is, you might want to call in advance and explain that THIER attitude will affect YOURS AND YOUR HUSBANDS ATTITUDE, and while you appreciate honesty, and that he should be given every piece of information on how to help aid the chemo in working-diet, etc.. I have no problem telling the nurses, etc. that my dad is not dead yet, and I would appreciate it if they would treat him with the dignity and respect that he deserves, and that every case is different-so they should not treat him as if he is a book and they have jumped forward to read the 'last page' and know what the outcome will be.
I hope this was of some help to you, GO GO GO!!!! I am sorry that I can't offer any info regarding the spinal fluid-although my dad had a tumor on his spine, but the chemo took care of that-but that is different from what your husband has. There are definatly people that will be of more help regarding info. to you (John gave you some good leads). Just wanted to offer some support. Take care, and try to keep us posted, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Deb
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No progression = no growth = GOOD NEWS!!!!! Enjoy those kids!! Deb
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Tami, I'm sorry that I can't help you with any info. on post thoracic surgery.. I was actually just wondering if you were the same Tami that used to post on the orig. message board, because I've been wondering how you've been doing-if it is you. Either way, I hope that all is well and welcome to the boards.
If you look under the 'good news' forum, there is a post by JudyB the post is called "good news but mixed reviews" and it is all about her having terrible post thoracic pain, and she went to a pain clinic and they've come up with a game plan of meds that, in time, should do the trick. You might want to check it out. Take care, Tami, glad to see you here. Deb
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Shellie, your feelings are absolutly normal, as everyone that has posted before me has said...and don't let anyone tell you otherewise. I guess there is always a process, stages that we go through-whether it is because someone has died, or someone is sick.
I felt the same as you did when my dad was first diagnosed, I thought :this is it...You see, two very important men in my families lives: my uncle and my dads best friend both died of lung cancer-very quickly-and so I thought my dad would follow the same scenario...then when he did so well for a year, I thought, 'Dads different. He's got faith, he's strong, positive outlook and all- he can beat this thing.' Then in May things just sort of started going downhill...It all started after my moms diagnosis with ovarian cancer. Then I think, if she didn't get sick, it wouldn't have taken such a huge toll on my dad and he'd be OK. But who knows.
Dad hasn't been the same since. Oh, and my parents cancelled the Disney vacation that they were supposed to take with my husband, children and me. I thought it was a goal that Daddy could aim for, but the dr's said that he probably shouldn't fly, because the constantly changing air pressure could damage his lungs. But if he could get a flight that would allow him to bring oxygen, or take Amtrack or drive, than he should, by all means, go. They opted to say no.
I hope that you don't feel so alone. I hope that you don't feel that you are being punished for some cosmic reason-and that you are responsible for your moms illness. Please don't, Shellie. Your intentions are sooo admirable. You love your mom so much, and you've been so supportive on this board to so many people.
Give yourself permission to be on that emotional rollercoaster.
My grandmother died when I was 13. SHe suffered for quite some time before she died. I remember thinking "noone will ever laugh again...no one will ever be happy again." I mean, how could they be? A wonderful, caring woman was gone... and she had suffered SO MUCH...then I went to the wake... and then to the funeral, and during the three day process of the wake and funeral and after funeral get together was so amazing. People were telling stories about my grandmother, stories that I'd heard, stories that I hadn't heard. Stories that made her live within my heart...and do you know what else? People were LAUGHING, sometimes through tears, but LAUGHING! It was actually so comforting and so, well, beautiful. And Grandma wouldn't have had it any other way.
I guess the hardest part of someone that we love dying is giving ourselves permission to live. But as we live, and tell our stories about those that we have loved and that have passed on, we also keep them alive.
I hope this was of some help. I hope that you feel some type of relief in knowing that you are not alone. And that alot of people that you've never met personally-really care...about you and your mom. Please take care of yourself, too, Shellie. We are here. Deb
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Kathy, it is good that you have this checked out. When my dad showed signs of brain mets his hand/eye coordination was all off, I gues you could also say that he had trouble with depth perception (ie: he would bump into things because he thought they were farther away than they were). He didn't have headaches, so Dad thought he was in the clear. I mean, how could you have brain tumors and no headache? But the onc. told us that headaches are usually not part of the symptoms of brain mets.
The best thing is to observe ones behavior and then report any unusual things to the dr's, which you are right on top of. Let us know how things go, and if I could be of any help, I'm here. Take care, deb
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Rayroy, I am so sorry that you have lost your dear father. I look forward to your writing more about your father and his life...and thank you so much for letting us know that you will remain an important part of our group-even through your sorrow. Please take time for yourself, we will be here waiting for you, and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Deb
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Rick and Katie, I wish I knew what to say...I just hope that somehow, knowing that you are in the thoughts and prayers of so many right now, is of a comfort to you all. Please try to keep us posted regarding your family. Take care, Deb
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Shellie, I am so sorry that your mother must go through this, and that you and your family must, too. I hope that you find the strength that you need to get through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully, the more information the doctors can get, the more they can help your mother. Take care, we are here for you. Deb
Sorry guys. I feel like one of those cheesy novellas - 
lets see 
, the bank threatening to forclose on our land 
. Deb
Finaly I made it to the good news form
in HOPE
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Ray, Sorry I'm a bit late to join in the celebration----GREAT NEWS!!!! Deb