Debaroo
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Posts posted by Debaroo
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Cary, you read my mind. Sunday, fathers day, after seeing my dad I kept thinking that I want to post a notice at his oncologists office directing lung cancer patents or families to this site. Your idea is GREAT! What do we have to do? I'm not real artistic or anything, but would be willing to lend a hand. Take care, Deb
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Today I stopped in Old Navy to pick up some swim shorts for my husband and a couple of shirts for my dad. The cashier was talking to the woman in front of me, they were complaining about all of the parties they have been invited to and of all of the obligatory gifts they've had to spend their money on. I was listening and also feeling dumb for getting Daddy shirts, I wanted to get him something that showed how much I love him.. something sentemental, I'm so worried about him. He sits and stares into space, he still isn't able to eat, the meds aren't really helping to increase his appetite, and hes getting stomach and back pain. Time for more tests, I fear.
Anyway, listening to them complain about the baby showers, birthday parties, graduations, communions,etc. I wanted to say "Hey, at least they're HAPPY OCCASIONS, not funerals or something!" But I stopped myself. I stopped because I realized that it is completly normal to feel the way they do, I remember feeling that way too, once. All the money that you have to shell out for this and that party. but mostly I didn't say anything because I realized that if I did, it would be because I'm jealous. I am jealous of being able to take life for granted.
I know that we're "not supposed" to take life for granted. That we are supposed to be wiser than that, and to "live each day as if it were your last', but honestly, after all of this with my dad and mom, I really think that the opposite is also true. That if we sat and really thought about it, the death thing might just paralize some people. That, maybe, just maybe, SOMETIMES you SHOULD be able to take life for granted, to witch about the small stuff, not to waste time, or to waste love or anything. But to NOT HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR OF 'WHAT'S NEXT'. I know this subject was touched upon in the Grieving forum, and maybe I should have posted there, under Katies topic about mourning our old lives. But, to be honest, I'm too lazy and tired to start over.
So, this is what I'm offering. RELISH those moments where the cancer slips your mind...CHERISH them...don't be angry with people that "don't get it", try for a minute to take a step back and appreciate things now...things can get worse, sometimes they will, and sometimes they won't. Hell, they can even get BETTER!!! Who knows. I know that we cant forget the cancer, thats impossible and I'd never say to try to do that. But, maybe, if we try to appreciate the moment, and take it for granted and not try to see what is lurking around the corner-just sometimes-we'll remember what it was like before...before our lives were rattled to the point that we sometimes don't recognize ourselves, or our families.
Maybe I'm rambeling. I'm not sure. I'll probably read this tomorrow, its almost tomorrow now, and say "WHAT THE??? WAS I THINKING".
I hope that this post dosn't offend anyone. I DO NOT TAKE LUNG CANCER LIGHTLY, nor do I think that we should take it lightly.
I know I can't do like Genie did and "think and blink" it away. I can't do that Samantha from Bewitched nose twich and zap it away, if I could we'd never need this board, wonderful as it is...
I'm just tired. I want my Daddy and Mommy to come to Disney World with their granddaughters; I want to not feel guilty for buying my dad a few stupid shirts for fathers day, for fear of missing an opportunity to get him something with deep meaning...for fear that it might be my last fathers day with MY DADDY. I don't know. Maybe some sleep will help. Take care everyone, LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Deb
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Carleen, I am also sorry for being a little late...if it helps you guys are automatically in my prayers every day. Please let us know how it goes. Take care, deb
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Tracy, All I can say is, all of the above posts were right. When my dad was diagnosed in Jan 2002, my sister and I were convinced that he had months to live. That was a year and a half ago. CHemo started and once it did, Dad "never felt better" it was amazing. He has extensive NSCLC, mets to the spine in the beginning, then to the brain in Dec 2002... We deal with things one thing at a time. There have been ups and downs, but we don't waste the times that he is feeling well. He handled chemo with few side effects. The worst were the steriods for the brain mets, and althought hes been off since april, the affects remain...so its been kind of tough.
We'll see what comes up next. He is on Iressa now. The point is, that you have to take a moment to step back and not get too far ahead of the cancer, because that is actually impossible to do. You think you can, but you can't.
So take one moment at a time. Savor the time with your dad, but fight, fight, fight. You might just be surprised at how well he does, I know I was with my Daddy.
Enjoy fathers day, make EVERY DAY FATHERS DAY, step back and make time for yourself, too. Because, eventually, you may be really really needed. Don't feel guilty when you get tired and need a break. This disease is all consuming, not just to the person who has it, but to the family members. Take care, Deb
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Jack and Cheryl, this place is amazing...and it IS the people that make it so. I have found this to be a place to come to for information as well as support, a sounding board and a comfort zone. I hope that you continue to post, whether with news, opinions, to provide support or information...ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE WELCOME AND APPRECIATED... Take care of yourselves and WELCOME ABOARD!!! Deb
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Lenny, I am so sorry about this latest development, but much can be done for brain tumors. My dad had three brain mets in December 2002, we dealt with those with gamma knife-a very non-invasive procedure, and there have been no problems regarding brain mets since then.
I have posted several times regarding the procedure, if you are interested. Also, feel free to private message me, or e-mail me if you are interested in any info.. My dads doctor said, "don't worry about the brain mets, we can deal with those...brain mets will NOT kill your father."
You have the same attitude as my dad. Approach this as just another hurdle....get ready...set...run...and...JUMP!!!!
Wishing you the best of luck, you can deal with this thing. Take care, Deb
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Tina, thank you for the update. I just don't know what to say. I hope they are providing grief counseling, or some type of counseling to Jay, and his little sister. I think about him often, and wonder how he is. I just don't know what to say...this is so much for ANYONE to handle, no matter regardless of their age, but he is so young...I have all these feelings right now, and am completely at a loss for words.
Please let Jay know that we all care, and are worried for him. Thank you , Deb
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Laurie, you are absolutly right that your moms should be monitored more closely. I would read Connies post to get the point across, to your mom AND I'd go so far as to read it to her Doctor!!! Jonathan, you are not low class, in fact, you hit the nail right on the head! And I'd like to hit that doctor right on the head-for him to be so cavalier with regard to your moms well being is dispicable!! You are absolutly right in being angry, and, while I understand your moms wanting to be positive/almost that attitude that MY mom had just prior to her ovarian cancer diagnosis. My mom felt that if she didn't know, than she could be "blissfully unaware" and therefore not sitting around worrying and letting the cancer take over her life. I told her that it is EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE, when it comes to cancer, ignorance is not bliss, it is deadly.
Please keep us posted as to how all of this is recieved by your mom and her doctor. I know that living far makes it more difficult to take the bull by the horns, but you are doing your best...no matter what happens with this situation, you did your best. Just know that. Take care, and thinking of you and your mom. Deb
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Don, I'm sorry for this latest development, but you have the right perspective. The radiation worked before, and will work again. I will keep Lucy and you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you had a nice dinner, and have a great weekend. You are both such a great example of what I want my marriage to be, the support and love...sharing and ENJOYING one another!!! That's what it's all about. Have a great weekend! Take care, deb
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WAHHHOOOOOOOOOOO SANDY!!!! Let me be the first here to say that that is beyond GOOD NEWS!!! Everyone, please raise your glass and join me in a toast "to Sandy, and her CLEAR CAT SCAN!!! And to many more 'normal' person activities (CLINK)
CHEERS!!!" If I could, I'd throw conffetti at you!!! Take care, deb -
Hey everyone, just wanted to inform you guys. My dad is on Iressa, which as many of you know has recently been FDA approved, which means it is no longer free. All well and good, except that the stuff was going to cost my parents $1200.00 to go to a druggest with a perscription for a THREE MONTH SUPPLY!!! My parents freaked, but the oncologists office advised them to phone their insurance co's perscription network. They found out that if the Dr. phones in the perscription DIRECTLY to the insurance companies perscription drug program it will only cost them $35.00 for a three month supply. AND it gets mailed directly to them at home, which is kinda convenient.
Talk about MAJOR SAVINGS!!! Just wanted to let you all know about it, just in case you are ever in a similar situation, you can see if your insurance carrier has any similar programs.
Take care, and let me know if anyone finds that their insurance carrier has a similar program, just curious. I mean, we felt like the astronomical cost of the medication pretty much meant that only the wealthy few would be able to live! Deb
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Shordy, regarding your fathers expences for medication, since Iressa was approved my parents were facing spending $1200.00 for a three month supply if they brought a perscription to a pharmacy. But with my moms insurance (retired government employee) the doctor will call in the perscription to her INSURANCE COMPANY'S percription dept. and they will mail them a three month supply for only $35.00 a month!!! It may pay to phone your dads insurance co. and see if they have this type of program. I hope this was of some help. Good luck in checking out RFA and the body radiosurgery, try to keep us informed. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, take care, deb
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Shordy, I am so sorry to hear about your father. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted when you can. take care, Deb
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Lainy, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that your memories are a comfort to you. Take care, deb
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Junior, I, too, will keep you and your dad in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted, and if you need to vent-we're here. Take care, deb
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FEELING GOOD
in HOPE
I agree, if Bill feels good RUN WITH IT!!!!!!! I am so glad to hear that he is feeling well. Keep us posted, sending positive vibes for great test results!! Take care, Deb
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Renee, the words just aren't coming to me. I am so sorry for your loss of your dear mother. You have everything to be proud of in your caring for her. No regrets. I have no doubt that through the whole ordeal, your mom knew how much you loved her. And she has everything to be proud of in having raised such a caring daughter. I hope that your memories are of comfort to you. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you will continue to check in here, and keep us posted on how you're doing. Take care of you, Deb
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Alyse, I have been wondering how you and your husband were doing. I am sorry that the Iressa wasn't the answer. My dads oncologist said, when dad was put on the Iressa, that if that didn't work, there are many other types of chemo out there that might do the trick. Each one works different for each person. I hope that you know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers, and I will continue to do so, as you continue the "quest" for what WILL be the answer.
And as the others said, VENT VENT VENT-that's what we're here for!! Take care, and keep us posted. Deb
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Renee, just wanted to drop a line to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your mom, and you are in my prayers. I hope you are getting the support you need at home, and that you know alot of people are here, supporting you, in spirit. Please take care of you, Deb
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Cathy, my sister and I have defianatly gotten much closer since my dads diagnosis in Jan 2002. Its funny, we've gotten steadily closer as we've gotten older. We have always been very diffent, and she is five years older than me, so as kids we seemed to always be in 2 different phases of life. (I was 10, climbing trees, she was 15 and primping in the bathroom mirror every 5 min.) The way we have dealt with this thing with my parents has been, mostly, with humor. we laugh ALOT!! funny, huh? The thing that has been so devastating has not only brought us closer, but has actually made us laugh as much as cry, if not more. But, the humor gets us through. Weird, but true. Take care, Deb
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Cathy, I am so sorry that this has happened. I agree with you that another opinion is in order, and Daves/Rys suggestion was a great one. My dad has extensive disease, both lungs, and spine, then mets to brain. He is currently on Iressa. He wasn't really up to more chemo, and really liked the idea that the Iressa is just a pill that is taken every day. Dads oncologist said that the Iressa has as much of a chance to work as chemo, and he believed it would help my dad. So far, so good. It has a 15% chance of "melting away the cancer" and a 25% chance of keeping things status quo, not allowing the cancer to spread. So a 40% overall chance of it working is NOT BAD AT ALL!! Have they considered IRessa for your dad. It has recently been approved by the FDA and should be easer to get now.
I wish you luck with your dad. Take care, Deb
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roasanne, have you looked into radiofrequency ablation for the liver mets? It is a VERY non invasive procedure and has proven to be quite successful. I know that I have been keeping it in mind for my dad if/when his cancer mets to the liver. In all, though, Gianni sounds like he's doing well. If he is able to do all of that yard work, well, thats GOT to be GOOD!! Right? Keep us posted, take care, deb
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clean scan
in HOPE
A toast to your wonderful report, Marie. "To many more reports to cheer about (clink) CHEERS!!"
Take care, Deb -
Shannon, I wish that my dad would have opted for the CTCof A, they sound AMAZING. I LOVE that they treat not only with standard treatment, but nutritionally, and SPIRITUALLY!! The WHOLE PERSON! What a wonderful thing, being treated as a person with options and a future. I think its so great, you are doing a fabulous job, Shannon. And the fact that Mike is willing to give this the chance it deserves, high five!!! Keep us posted, and you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, deb
CHEERS!!!" If I could, I'd throw conffetti at you!!! Take care, deb
Clean Scan
in HOPE
Posted
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssss!!! Gail this is definatly cause for celebration!!! If I could I'd have this post throw confetti at you!!! "A toast to another great scan, and
CHEERS!!!" Take care, Deb