Lauri

Really glad to see you in the Good News forum again! I'm glad things are holding steady...it's always nice to read good news Take care...and enjoy Spring with your mom!!! Lauri

Andrea I know exactly how you feel....to me it is just like I'm standing out in the warm sunshine on a beautiful Spring day. (Much like today here in Jersey!) We had a birthday party for my nephew on Saturday and it was my mom's first family outing. My sister's extended family is a HUGE Italian family, lots of little ones running around, and we were very happy that she felt up to it. She had so much fun and everyone was glad to see her there and told her how great she looked, etc. This kind of love and support is so much needed and appreciated. It was just fantastic to see her smiling and enjoying her family all around her. She was very private in her treatments and we were the only ones around her....she needed this day!!! But like you, I enjoy the simple little moments that I have again. The phone call during the middle of the day to talk about little things and hear her laugh, the window-shopping at the mall, the doctor-free days!!!! We will just enjoy them as much as we can....

Thank you everyone for your warm replies. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all your help and support. (Thanks, Pier, for our chats...please let me know how your mom is doing....send me an IM or post it when you can...or call me!) I will keep the prayers coming for all of you, too, thank you!!! Lauri

Congratulations to you, too, Joe....we seem to have fallen into the same boat today - we are both enjoying some really good news! My mom's appointment with the oncologist was today as well and we, too, are looking forward to enjoying some time off and celebrating the simple things in life...being together and sharing some laughter... Have a great time in Florida....!!

It sure feels good to be posting in here!!!! It's been such a long 3 months....it feels good to stand in the sunshine of life again! My mom and I actually went to the mall together on Wednesday and window-shopped together and had the closest to a "normal" day than we've had in a very long time!!! It felt soooo good to be out together doing normal things....things you take for granted before such an illness. She has made it through a very tough time with chemo and radiation. Her body was taken to the limit (and her mind, too). She is feeling stronger and better each day. Her congestion is finally clearing up a bit. She had a PET scan done last week and it showed no hot spots. Her oncologist is very pleased with the results and we are now looking forward to a wonderful Spring! Lauri

Norme - I'm so, so sorry... I hope that you will be alright and find the strength you need through family and friends who surround you. You have a tremendous group of caring people right here to lean on.....hope you will not stay away for long. Love, Lauri

Does anyone have any experience with Cooper Hospital or any of their affiliated oncologists? We are experiencing nightmare conditions at another hospital where my mom has been admitted and want to move her. She has now contracted pneumonia and is getting weaker in this hospital instead of better...I'm afraid a feeding tube is right around the corner. We have been hanging in there because my mom is happy with her oncologist who is only affiliated with this particular hospital. He has been aggressive. But this hospital is truly a nightmare and this is getting worse every day. We are at a loss right now. Any help you can give is always appreciated. Take care, Lauri

Thanks Cindy! Despite my own limited cooking abilities (haha) it all turned out alright...just a few mistakes (no gravy for potatoes, no napkins..oops..lol). Lots of help from husband and girls. My sis is a neo-natal nurse and worked Christmas Eve until 8:00..next year she's helping!Glad to hear you had a nice holiday with your family. It is really all that matters. Take care, Lauri

Hi all. Geez, I haven't posted in so long that I don't even know where to start! I have been reading posts and thinking of everyone over these holidays. It's been a bumpy ride already. We are two months' post-diagnosis and one month into treatment. The first combo of chemo drugs did not work out. Serious reaction to Taxol - stopped breathing within 2 minutes of the first dose. Fortunately, the nurses were fantastic, they reacted quickly and it turned out alright. So we were forced to move to Plan B - Navelbine. Also, concurrent radiation 5 days per week. Unfortunately, she developed esophagitis within 3 weeks and hasn't been able to swallow even liquid protein mixes or pureed foods. This snowballed over one weekend into dehydration, low white blood cell counts and hospitalization since this past Monday. Christmas Eve dinner has always been very special tradition for us. Every year, my mother outdoes herself to make her home beautiful and absolutely glowing with a candlelit ham dinner. We all dress to the nines and sit in her living room and exchange a gift or two. Christmas is her favorite time of the year and she makes it special for all of us and she always has. We have held this night sacred above all else....until this year when cancer reared its ugly head. This year, though, I knew it was time to tell her that I would handle Christmas Eve dinner - that she would relax and be waited on for a change. I went all out to make it beautiful for her. Unfortunately, that never happened and my poor mother spent Christmas Eve in her hospital bed in pain with me by her side and a stupid plastic tree on her night table. I decorated her tree with ornaments we made together when I was a child and she had given to me when I moved out. I decorated her walls with ornaments she made herself and also gave to me years ago when I had little money for new things. We laughed about these things coming back to haunt her after all these years! Then she sent me home to be with my family. I cooked the ham dinner and my girls dressed up and said Grace around my candlelit table (not quite the same) and we opened a gift each and decorated the tree.....all by ourselves. And it was sad but I did what she taught me to do since I was a child...carry on the tradition with my children. Christmas Day was terrible. She developed serious lower back pain that morning and the lousy hospital could not control her pain. She was wearing a Fentanyl patch, taking Atavan, Dilautin and Valium all simultaneously. Still in pain. Doctors feared mets to spine. Orders x-rays and total body bone scan. Of course, it was Christmas Day and nobody wanted to do anything at the hospital. I hate that hospital, but she wants to stay close to home. So we waited for them to run all their tests in their own sweet time .... Today, results of bone scan showed no hot spots. No mets to spine...or anywhere else that they can see. I'm taking this as great news.... she has to get better so she can continue to fight this beast. She will follow-up with nerve studies and MRI's for sciatic pain. Has anyone had experience with this? I'm sorry this is so long. I think it all caught up with me today...I'm exhausted and relieved and worried everyday and I needed to share my story with those who are in my boat, too. I put on a brave face every day for everyone in my family. But part of my Christmas is still on hold waiting for us to sit in her living room and enjoy the moment of Christmas and family together again. All presents remain wrapped. Anyway, I hope everyone has found some Christmas spirit and happiness despite the stress. Thanks for just listening... Lauri

I am so sorry for your mother passing on and for all the pain and grief you are feeling. Honor her love and memories and know that she would want you to be strong. I hope you find peace in your lifelong memories with her. Please take extra good care of yourself, Lauri

You may be able to eventually bake a pie on preheat, but you DEFINITELY cannot pop popcorn in the microwave on defrost no matter HOW LONG you leave it in there. And it's impossible to get nice brown toast out of a toaster that is not plugged in no matter how long you *patiently* wait for it to pop up. I know because I've apparently tried to do both in the past few weeks. Also, tuna casserole is just lacking that special ingredient when you forget to add the tuna. (guilty). Hope this makes you feel better! If not, I've just confessed to these ...ummmm...let's call them "lack of focus" moments...for no good reason!

Cheryl - I'll race ya! lol....

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn’t sleep… I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep. The leftovers beckoned... the dark meat and white, but I fought the temptation with all of my might. Tossing and turning with anticipation, the thought of a snack became infatuation. So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore. I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes, stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes. I felt myself swelling so plump and so round, till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground. I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees... Happy eating to all – Pass the cranberries, please.

I know I'm new around here and can't really offer any advice. I can't post as often as I want to due to very old computer (6 years old), but I do *slowly* read posts. When I read about your pity party, I had to post something. I want to thank you for your forthright posts and information and advice and just plain kind words. You and Buddy are such an inspiration to me. Your strength and Buddy's courage give me inspiration and strength which I need to help my mom 100%. All that "being strong" takes energy and you must have needed some down time. You are good people and I'm glad you are feeling better. I'm sorry Buddy is going through surgery on the 24th...I will be thinking of both of you on that day. Take care, Lauri

Those are some great posts and great tips...thanks. Please keep em coming! I will pass them all along. Chemo begins on Tuesday. I visited the center today and got a peek at the chemo room. Nice lounge chairs. Mom is so beat right now that she says she looks forward to taking a nap in one of them! Hard candy and water are perfect ideas. I will put a bag together and send it her way this weekend...she can add to it as she likes. Why not surgery?? It is my biggest question. All of my research indicated that Stage II may (or may not) be operable. I asked the doctor today to explain to me why they consider it inoperable. They pulled out the PET scan and showed me that the tumor is located deep in lung, deep in chest, near a major artery and heart. That leaves removal of whole lung as only surgical option. They believe that whole-lung surgery would "set her back" too far to handle chemo and radiation. They want to start that immediately. They are not ruling out surgery completely, though. Mom spent 14 days in the hospital after the "simple" overnight VATS procedure on Oct. 17th. Perhaps that is part of the decision, too. Thanks for asking...I appreciate the thinking! Thoughts, questions, ALWAYS welcomed. Oh..and maybe just maybe Santa will bring her a computer this year! (She loves geneology)

Hi, everyone... I'm officially moving myself over to the Early Stage and the Family/Caregiver forums. My mom has finally gotten a diagnosis and we are moving forward with the information that we have right now. It does feel good to start on a plan of action! The reason I am asking for a little more help is really for my mom. I've told her all about everyone here and how many survivors and fighters get together here and provide info/support. She is ready to fight! Unfortunately, she does not have a computer so I have been telling her you are all here! I posted a message over in Early Stage forum asking for anyone to pitch in with a friendly hello and support as she begins her chemo/radiation therapy. Please ...my mom could use your support right now... If you have a few moments, stop over and fire off a quick "hello...we are here!" I will print out the threads and let her read for herself the support that is available here. Thanks, and I really am grateful for all your replies Lauri

Hi, Dolly - I'm new here so I'm not so sure I can offer any real help. My mom was just diagnosed with lung cancer and I am 41 years old. We are very close. I do want to wish you a Happy 43rd Birthday! I hope you indulged yourself a little bit today...you need to pamper yourself...you deserve it. I'm terribly sorry about your mom's passing. I live in South Jersey and if you need someone to chat with to help you through the pain, please private message me. Don't lose sight of what is important right now...yourself. You need to take care of yourself. It's not easy to do but I know your mom would have wanted you to have a nice happy birthday...so I'm hoping you did. Take care, Lauri

Hi, all! My mom, Pat, has finally been given a diagnosis of Stage II by an oncologist that she happens to like very much. Although he is pretty sure there is no signs of spread, he is also scheduling her for more tests. He is very optimistic that he can successfully treat her without surgery and has been acting very quickly to get the ball rolling So far, no signs of metastasis and they are very happy about that. My mom retired in June and has not gotten a computer for home yet. I have been telling her about all of you and printing out helpful tidbits of information to give to her. ANYWAY.....since she will begin a 6-week plan of chemo/radiation next week, I was hoping maybe some of you could send a short, friendly hello and maybe some advice or words of inspiration to help her through her treatment journey. She will be taking Platinol and Taxol by IV twice a week for six weeks. We meet with the radiation specialist tomorrow. It's my wish to print out this thread and give it to her a day or two before she begins her treatments. Any little bit helps!!! Thanks! Lauri

Hi, Marcie! I want to say that I am glad to see you here, but the truth is, I wish nobody had to be here. I am really glad to see that you are here finding support from others like me in the same boat and gathering information. You are right, the past 2 to 3 weeks have been hell for me, too. But it has been a great help to not feel alone. We have to be strong for our moms. Gaining knowledge and support go a long way in that department. I'm really glad that your mom's doctor seems to think that the cancer has not really spread and that surgery is being done next month. Your mother is on her way to beating this monster and I wish her the best with the surgery! I know you love her very much and will do everything you can to help her along. My mom came home from the hospital today and has approximately 80% of her strength back. When I was visiting her at home, she was busy and getting ready for Halloween even as she was holding her sides and wincing in pain. I had to smile thinking "she's back!". I'm sure her doctor and her will talk about treatment options very soon. He's waiting for her strength and fighting spirit to be intact and 100%, I know now, and can see how important that is for her. Keep posting...it's the best part of the internet...we need to support each other and share information, opinions, or just ramble on...(which I am VERY good at...lol). Take care, Lauri

A TOAST TO YOUR SPECIAL BIRTHDAY TODAY!!! Have a great one!!!! Lauri

Thanks everyone for your thoughts....I have really tried to see it from all angles. I am going to call her doctor myself and just go over his plans for her. I will be diplomatic about it and try not to upset the apple cart before I have permission to do so. I guess my concern is partly that it is NOT ME, it is my MOTHER. She is a strong woman who calls her own shots. I am still her daughter and am trying to be respectful and not just run around doing whatever I want. I would prefer that he tell her and then she could discuss it with us when she is ready. But this is insane! She chose the local doctor and the local hospital...before we, her daughters, "knew"...it was all set up and no amount of coaxing could change that. She wanted to be close to home and heard wonderful things about this doctor (her neighbor has survived lung cancer with his help). We were able to talk to her about the possibility of it being "confirmed". She said that if it was confirmed, she would seek a second opinion from Fox Chase. That's all we've discussed. But now our hands are tied because she does not have her confirmation yet.....We have no diagnosis other than Non-small cell, possibly stage II or III. Dave, your strength amazes and inspires me. I laughed at your reply...surviving the 60's and 70's (geez...the 70's were my teenager years and you're right..she survived them!). I want her to have control of her treatment, but I don't know how/when to pull rank and do what I think is best. It's partly about respecting her decision of chosing this doctor at this point, too. I think this will all be resolved soon. Based on what I've read here and my own intuition, I've decided to hang in another day or two and then make a friendly phone call to her physician. Mom is still recuperating in the transitional unit and she is not pushing it right now, so I am following her cue for the time being. Thanks..you guys kick azz ..... Take care, Lauri

Hi, everyone. First of all, some good news. My mom finally made it to the rehab floor at the hospital after going through an unexpected scary ordeal from a VATS lung biopsy that was done on October 17th. I am glad to see her recovering finally...what an ordeal! I have a problem/question though that I want to pose here: Immediately after the biopsy was completed, the doctor (still in his scrubs) spoke to my sister and I and confirmed our worse fears. He told us that she has lung cancer for which there is no cure and surgery would not be an option since it spread to her lymph nodes near her spine. So my sister and I have been dealing with this news since the 17th and preparing ourselves for a real battle with this cancer. We are prepared to take her for a second opinion at Fox Chase and get MOVING. Here's the problem: Since her condition has been so bad and touch-and-go for the past week or so, the doctor has apparently felt it best NOT TO TELL HER about the results of her biopsy. We have agreed with this all week...she has been in really bad shape. And the surgeon has avoided her and us all week. He finally saw her yesterday without us being present, told her she would be in rehab for 5 days or so, gave her an x-ray prescription for after she is discharged and told her he would see her in his office in about 2 weeks! STILL did not tell her the results of her biopsy. He apparently wants to make sure she is FULLY recovered. In the meantime, precious time is sliding by. I am very concerned that this whole process is taking too long. By the time she sees him again in two-three weeks, then gets the news, then gets around to seeing a few oncologists and having more tests done......it's going to be another 6 weeks of no treatment...etc. Am I being overly concerned?? I am sure he thinks she needs the time to recover before starting up again...she obviously couldn't handle the treatments necessary right now....but a part of me thinks we are now wasting precious time. Plus, she is in the dark and, on a few occasions, has asked us if we knew anything. It must be he/// for her... Has anyone else experienced this problem? Is this normal??? We cannot talk to her about it since our hands are temporarily tied. I do not have a problem being the squeaky wheel......I will do ANY KIND of research necessary....but I want to get on with this battle and get away from this doctor ASAP. He is very pessimistic and slow-moving (in my opinion). I appreciate any thoughts or opinions. Thanks for all your help..it does make a difference... Take care, Lauri

Hi again everybody! I have not had any time to post for the past few days. It's Monday afternoon and mom is finally being moved out of ICU after one heck of a long awful weekend there. I am having a hard time believing that she is having so much pain and complications from a VATS procedure, but she is. Her pain is severe and they cannot seem to locate where the leak in her lung is coming from. Since they did not open up her lung, they are "waiting and seeing" what happens. Anybody have any ideas in this area???? I know I don't. She also had a bout with subcutaneous crepitus Saturday night. Her face is blown up like a balloon ( a painful balloon) from air leaking in the her chest cavity that moved upwards. The resident doctor took x-rays and said no pneumothorax or dislodged tube...no ideas...but said it was a common complication that resolves itself over time...a few days. I have been at the hospital ALL weekend....the front desk volunteer at the hospital automatically smiles and pulls the ICU pass out as soon as she sees me enter the front door. Mom has been asking me about the biopsy results, but I told her the doctor has not really informed us of everything yet and that she needs to concentrate on getting out of the hospital. (my heart is breaking guys....just torn apart in little itty bitty bits (((((() Anyway, the little bit of joy I have experienced in the past two weeks came when I was able to make her laugh a little in her room. She has great spirit and spunk and I was able to bring it out for a few moments over the weekend and those were GREAT moments for me...seeing mom smile or laugh and then watching her get lovingly mad at me for making her laugh while she was miserable. The nurses love her and treat her very well...she never asks for anything but the nurses keep up with the special little touches just the same. Oh, and my daughter visited her in her room....she was a champ and I was extremely proud of her! Smiles all the way. She asked about the food and helped rearrange her pillows. And my mom, who at first didn't want her to come in, was very grateful to see her strength and smiles. Well my computer at home is soooo sloooow, I cannot possible post as much as I'd like to. I am overdue for a new computer but keep putting off making the big purchase. I have noticed that I an incapable of posting short, concise posts anyway...lol, so I'll just post long yet infrequent ones as a compromise! How is everyone doing? Please keep up the great support ...it's a one-of-a-kind place that everyone can seek help or just "get it off their chest", like I do sometimes. I do think of all of you and pray for you every night. Take care, Lauri

Shoot! Looks like I sent in my last post as "Guest" since I didn't sign in before I submitted the post. Please have patience with me...I'm clearly a newbie ...

Wow, I am blown away by the responses received and touched that so many took the time to help me out. I thank you all so much! I have taken everything in like a sponge and am learning quite a lot here. Especially about the power of human caring and support. I don't feel so alone right now as I did all week. I'm scared to death about tomorrow, but knowledge is power and that's how I am choosing to deal with this even though I'd rather crawl into a hole and hide. Ginnyde - I live in South Jersey and, after I read your reply, I contacted Fox Chase and got all the information set aside. Thank you very, very much. They were very nice. Rich - My mother will surely ask about an oncologist from this surgeon she is seeing tomorrow. She loves this surgeon and has a great repoire with him. Her neighbor is a lung cancer survivor and he performed the surgery. I also printed those questions out and will take them with me tomorrow. Thanks for your help. Don - About when to tell the kids, I have truly struggled with that question and love to hear all advice on it. I do see your point 100%, too. Just didn't want the kids to worry about it in school. Thank you so much. Andrea - I'm sorry to hear we're in the same boat. Sounds like you have the right attitude and a close relationship with your mother, too, and it sure helps me to read your story. Thank you very much. Heather - We live pretty close to each other! I like in Elk Township, but worked in Cherry Hill as a paralegal up until June of last year. Now I am taking time to be at home with my children more and I go to college during the day. As for the information you gave....thank you. I agree that the "match" is so important, too. That means a lot to my mother, too. Thanks for your specific information....I am very grateful. Margaret - Thank you for your insights. I went to that website and printed out that letter. Wow! I felt better just going to that place....thank you! Becky - The "telling" to my children is an incredibly hard part right now. I'm sure we will do that this weekend. I'm not sure how well my mother will be feeling, but we need to get this out in the open ... thanks for sharing with me how your family handled it. I feel like I'm keeping a terrible secret from my children...it's not right. Thank you everyone for your kind words...I'm gonna be here for awhile and if I can offer some help to someone when I get through this horrible stage, I will be there for anyone! I will post again with any information I get. Surgery is at 9:30 tomorrow. I will probably be at the hospital all day as needed since she is spending the night. Please say a prayer for my wonderful mother and I will say a prayer for all of you tonight, too. Take care, Lauri