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Lisa O

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    Aging

    in JUST FOR FUN

    Posted

    An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.

    The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

    A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

    _______________________________________

    FAMILY

    Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

    The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

    The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

    _______________________________________

    "I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

    Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"

    "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."

    And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

    _______________________________________

    ROMANCE

    An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

    A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me. "Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

    Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked.

    "To get my teeth!"

    _______________________________________

    OLD FRIENDS

    Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a long time .... but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

    Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

    _______________________________________

    SENIOR DRIVING

    As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"

    He said, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

    ______________________________________

    DRIVING

    Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

    After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous ...

    At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

    Mildred turned to her and said, "shi_! Am I driving?"

    Any help for Iressa skin?

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    I wash with cetaphyl - which is very soothing. You can get it at any drug store. I just started using Udderly Smooth lotion on my body which is a great cream and not oily at all. For my face, I keep it moist with neutrogena moisturizer with sunscreen. While our instinct may be to try to dry the rash since it seems like acne, mine responds much better to moisture.

    Good luck.

    Some new Symptoms have arrived

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    I know that medication changes can be so significant. Neuropathy (including numbness) headaches, fatigue... can be caused by even something so simple as antacids and allergy medications. I will say some prayers for you and Keith. I hope and pray for the easy fix.

    Why I haven't been "here".

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Dearest DeanCarl and Fay,

    You both fight so hard for a right fundamental to all of us -- the right to choose which, if any, treatment is best for us PERSONALLY. It seems there is so much judgment from the medical community, from family and I guess even from each other that we have begun to feel the need to justify our approach.

    When it comes down to it, Fay and DeanCarl both stand for the same thing -- EMPOWERMENT-- our right to choose the terms of our fight and within our means the right to choose our weapons. I believe that both of them are an inspiration and an asset to this community.

    a question about sugar

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Rick and Joe are both entirely right. You will be surprised how much easier it gets as time goes on. I tasted my husband's soup at a restaurant the other day and I could TASTE that it had SUGAR added~ It was not a sweet soup but after a while sugar doesn't even taste good anymore.

    Some people don't eat fruit or whole grain products. I follow the program outlined in Joe's post with the Low or "in the range" glycemic index. That means I eat WHOLE (and I do mean whole -- packaging is often misleading) grains in SMALL amounts and small amounts of fruits but only after protein so my blood sugar doesn't rise too drastically.

    The green or herbal teas are available in flavors (with no sweetener -artifical or otherwise) and satisfy my sweet tooth - especially with a few rasberries. Yellow bell peppers are great for you and taste really sweet once you have given up sugar for a while.

    Just remember that they inject glucose before a pet scan to get you cancer to activate and light up -- nice way to make your cancer say yum yum. (not as scientific as the guys just said but it works for me). If I want sugar, I think of my little cancer cells as pac men looking for sugar to feed them and make them stronger -- no thanks.

    "Hi my name is Cancer"

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Cheryl,

    I have not been on this board for long, but you seem to be so helpful and kind. I can't imagine that you have any reason to feel guilty about blowing some steam off today. I am so sorry that people made you feel uncomfortable. In this day and age there is really no excuse for that. :roll: I have been having some pretty crabby moments myself when people don't seem to act as I believe they should. For the most part I can't stand the pitying attitude - I find it totally destructive.

    At least YOU know that you are not defined by your cancer. You are as much yourself as always - maybe just a bit stronger and a lot more enlightened.

    Calling All Fat Cancer Survivors and Caregivers

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Is it too late to join??? I know most of you started last month but I really need to get some motivation to drop some weight. I don't know if it is my attempt to squeeze in all the healthier foods on the "cancer fighting" list but it is giving me a problem squeezing into my clothes!! :oops: I think people expect me to be losing weight... but I seem to be gaining it instead.

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