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gerbil runner

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Posts posted by gerbil runner

    he did it again

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    :( My first marriage was to an emotionally abusive creature. It took me awhile to figure out that he really INTENDED to make me feel bad! Some sick, weak people can only feel better by destroying someone they think is strong.

    You've made it to the point of knowing you deserve better. Great!

    When I first seperated from my ex, a psychologist told me that people who always place the blame for whatever happens in their lives on someone or something else are very unlikely to change - because they would first have to accept that part of the responsibility lies within. And that's the thing they have the hardest time with.

    Another thing she told me is that a spouse of normal intelligence knows when you are reaching the breaking point and can see when you are unhappy. Failure at that point to try to help the situation means they don't WANT the marriage to be healthy and successful, for whatever reason.

    Mind games are poisonous. And let me tell you, even 10 years later my ex hasn't changed a bit. He's going through another divorce, living at home with mommy and daddy at 35 because he doesn't make enough money to support himself even though he's a college grad and member of Mensa.

    Get out while you can and don't look back. Feel free to email or pm me if you want to talk more.

    Newbie: Dad diagnosed with sclc

    in INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

    Posted

    Didier, my mom also has sclc. Treatment can be a real bear, but sclc can be extremely responsive to chemo.

    Sclc moves very fast. Your dad can always change his mind about treatment if it doesn't go well.

    There are always exceptions to the rule. My mom is extensive stage, but will be getting radiation because she only has 2 sites and has had a very dramatic, positive response to chemo. That said, the chemo is very tough on her. She's really dreading the upcoming 5 weeks of radiation. But she's a fighter.

    The problem is, we have no crystal ball. There are options for treatment, but nobody knows which patients will respond and for how long. The way my mo looks at it, the name of the game is get into remission and wait for the next advance in treatment. A vaccine for sclc is in clinical trial right now.

    Best wishes to you both.

    FINALLY GOT TO ME

    in NSCLC GROUP

    Posted

    Howard, I hope you and your family have many times of peace and sunshine together.

    The choice of whether or not to aggressively treat such a grim disease is very personal. There is no "right" or "wrong" answer; there is only YOUR answer.

    No hot spots in PET scan

    in SCLC GROUP

    Posted

    My mom is about to start 25 sessions of radiation. Stats are usually not posted around here, but...my mother pressed the radiologist for stats concerning the radiation. He said without radiation, the 2-year survival rate is 10-20%. With radiation, the THREE year survival rate is 10-20%. Don't know where the stats came from, and I'd take 'em with a grain of salt (if not half the shaker).

    I don't think you're likely to get answers on whether radiation is effective if broken up by a long pause like yours - it's still debated when is best to start and whether once-daily or twice-daily radiation is better.

    I'd try to talk to another radiologist. Maybe a gastroenterologist as well. I think GERD does matter in the decision, but I'm no doctor.

    End of life issues for patients?

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    When my mother was first hospitalized, the initial dx was pancreatic cancer, stage IV. Our initial thoughts were about hospice.

    I read, and recommend, "The Needs of the Dying". Perhaps just reading that book (or a similar one) and passing it around to close family will help you talk about what you want to do.

    This is a very difficult time, because you have not yet decided how to approach your disease. The uncertainty only makes everything seem worse. One you decide upon a plan, you will at least have that to focus on.

    As for end-of-life issues, you may want to see what hospice facilities are available to you. In my area, there is an in-patient facility which is only for hospice. It is family-oriented (real furniture, no visiting hours, pets can stay) and may be an option for you if you are concerned about the pressures on your caretakers.

    Many people do remain at home. If that is what you really want, then do it. There's all kinds of help available for the caretakers.

    And in the meantime, LIVE! You aren't dead yet, and may not be for a long time. Think about how you want to live in the immediate future, and let those thoughts guide your choices.

    As for whether or not to accept treatment, there is no right or wrong answer - only YOUR answer.

    Curious - how long does radiation appt. take?

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    My mom will soon be starting 5 weeks of daily radiation. We're all wondering: about how long will each session will take? Mom will be getting mapped this week, and we expect that to take some time, but those daily radiation appointments don't seem like they should last very long.

    What has been the norm for those of you who did this?

    Also, how does one get through radiation and chemo together? Mom is exhausted much of the time, and is not looking forward to spending weeks feeling like a vegetable. She's gearing up for 5 weeks by telling herself she can get through just about ANYTHING that only lasts 5 weeks.

    How long after does it take to feel human again? And the esophageal burns - mom is very likely to get that due to the location of her original lung tumor - any magic hints to help with that?

    Mom said she spent a little time lurking on this site over the weekend - so if you're reading this, Mom, pay attention :) .

    Newbie

    in INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

    Posted

    Welcome, Kim!

    I read your web story, and am so impressed with your gumption. Not everyone would post their pictures like that, but I think they should be mandatory viewing. Putting a face and details on this disease may be what we need for people to say "That could be me". Nobody should have to go through this.

    Hope to hear from you for a long time to come!

    Has anyone heard from DeannaM?

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    DeannaM., I was also glad to see your post! I think about you and your mom from time to time, as my mom has a met to the pancreas as well. I wish your mom was responding to treatment as well as my mom has.

    My mom is going to get radiation to her 2 original sites. It's unusual, but maybe you could ask the dr. if it's possible for your mom.

    Hope you have plenty of good days ahead.

    Why I haven't been "here".

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Dean,

    I sure hope you don't feel like your decision is looked down upon in any way. There is no "right" or "wrong" answer in how/whether to fight a disease like this, there is only YOUR answer - the answer of the one battling the disease.

    I hope your life gets less complicated. Nobody needs all the BS you've been dealing with lately.

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