[Dad's really down...]

Thank you so much everyone for being so helpful with all of this. My Dad isn't in good spirits, and everytime I bring up anything about LC he gets fusterated, and dosent want to talk about it. As Ive said in other posts, his doctor's aren't being helpful at all as far as giving us more information, and that seems to be fine with Dad, but not for me. The more info. I find out, and the messages I get from you guys make me see that he should be getting more information, and maybe even more attention from his Dr.'s.

The problem is that he dosent seem to want anymore info, and truly dosen't seem to care. His additude has changed so much since finding out that he was not a canidate for surgery. It seems that now he feels like he's done for.

Ive tried to give him survivor stories, and all he seems to do is find the low points in them... like telling him that someone has survived years with at his stage, and then he says something like "Yea, 6 years of Chemo, that's just what Im looking forward to". Im really at a loss here.

He told me today that he was just really depressed and didnt want to talk about it anymore. Is this normal? Im sure it is, I cant imagine being in his shoes, and I cant understand. Ive tried to lead him to this website, and told him all about it, and he says its not for him.... what to do?

How long can I let him go with this additude? Its not helping anything, and I feel like so much more could be done. He's only 49 and he says that he cant see prolonging chemo if this round dosent work. I think, he thought surgery was going to be his "cure all" in this. Its only been about 7 weeks since dx, and already I feel like hes giving up.

Any advice on how to handle this would be much appreciated, from caregivers, survivors,... anyone.

Again thanks a bundle on all the replies, since my Dad wont talk, I feel like I get to vent on here, and it helps me more than you know. Just getting replies to my posts makes me feel great.

[Hello all. My dad has just been diagnosed Stage 3b]

Hi Elizabeth,,, your post sounds like mine! My dad too just got diagnosed IIIB. all this is new to me. im not sure about alot of his stats, just thought id let you know that someone here is in your situation! if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me. Seeing is were in the same boat, maybe you can answer some of my questions, or maybe i can answer some of yours! Tell your Dad to stay strong! Jamie

[Another Newbie]

I too want to say welcome! Ive found alot of comfort in this message board, and hope that you will too! Stay Strong & Healthy!....Jamie

[Cancer has returned]

I wish the best for you and your family... dont ever give up!

[looking for an answer]

My dad has IIIb LC. His doctors havent given us much information, and all this is pretty new. Quick situation info... Dx 2/5/04, IIIB, some lymphnode involvment (doctors didnt say how much), non operable no signs of cancer otherwise. PET scan shows "something lit up in neck" but doctors not concerned. My question is for anyone who can tell my why my dad is inoperable. Im pretty confused. Originally they told us the goal was to shrink his grapefruit sized tumor with chemo and radiation, and go from there. Monday they said it had shrunk in half! Great news or so we thought. My dad then asked about surgery, and they looked at him like he was crazy, then informed him he was never a canidate for surgery! He said he felt like he was slapped in the face with cancer again! Here he thought (and so did I) that he could beat this,,, and now things again look bleak. Anyone who can fill me in? Like i said, This is all really new to us . Jamie

[trying hard to survive]

thank god you have found this fourm! just reading everyone elses stuff helps calm my nerves, and if you cant find support from your family, find it here.