lisaRN

marzipan.... for the italian cookies i am making .....yummmmmy ....can't wait to eat em

Bruschetta What you will need: 6 Plum Tomatoes 2 cloves fresh garlic olive oil salt & pepper to taste italian flat leaf parsley French Bread cut into 1/2" slices and toasted in the oven (you can brush them with olive oil and/or garlic if you like dice the tomatoes....mince the garlic....chop the parsley....mix all together with olive oil to coat....salt & pepper to taste.... you can add crushed red pepper flakes too to spice it up if you like.... spoon the tomato mixture onto the sliced toasted bread.....you can add shredded parmesan cheese if you like... Bon Apetit!

hi karen....i am so sorry for your loss....i know firsthand how very difficult it is especially during holidays, anniversaries and birthdays.... i lost my husband 3 years ago this month..... thanksgiving was our last holiday together....thanksgiving oddly enough seems to be one of the harder times in the year....the memories of him suffering from this ruthless disease i guess are what makes it so difficult....i believe part of my sadness stems also from wanting to hold on to that holiday as though it is somehow connected to him.... i understand how difficult it is to hear people tell you that you have to move on....personally i felt guilty to even consider moving on.... the pain and sadness never really go away but it does somehow find it's place.... a place somewhere deep in your heart and in your memories..... tucked away allowing you to go through the motions of life....perhaps even being able to appear to "have moved on"..... i find it difficult to look at pictures....they always make me cry.... my son wants to view old home movies and i have not reached that point yet.... sometimes i hate that my crying or being sad makes everyone so upset.... i feel often that i have earned an inherent right to feel whatever way i choose without everyone thinking i have gone off the deep end..... what i have come to realize though is that my moments of sadness are just that....moments....moments in a universe filled with time that no one can really catch hold of.....but my memories.... they are mine..... embedded in me..... forever....

when discussing my young husband's passing from lung cancer i am often asked this very question....it used to make me sick inside....wondering why people assumed he had smoked.....my husband never smoked a day in his life and yet had a disease that somehow grouped him into a category of "it must be your fault you are sick".... well last week marked the 3 year anniversary of his passing and i still feel as though it were yesterday....people still ask the same dumb questions....but now i answer differently..... somehow along the way you are given the strength to turn misinformation and ignorance around...little by little..... one person at a time.... i have begun to teach others that no disease, not simply lung cancer, should be blamed on the person inflicted....instead we should all take advantage of these questions and use the opportunities towards bridging understanding of the making of this disease and towards finding a cure.....

When does this get easier? It is so hard.... I miss you so much Ahmed. Thursday was our 18th wedding anniversary, and i am so lonely without you. I'm tired. I am so tired of trying to be strong for everyone. I am so tired of missing you. I cry when i think of you, when i smell you, when i see your face.... when i dont. I need you here to take care of me the way you always have. I need you, I need you. My soul is reaching for you my friend.... my best friend, my love. I wish i were beside you now. This journey we take through life is such a punishing quest. I wonder why. Please tell me why? Lisa .....

Dear Katie, I don't know if you did it intentionally or not, but I really appreciate the fact that the caregivers forum is nestled in at the top and not lost somewhere down at the bottom of a page..... I know this probably seems trivial to many.... but to me it is symbolic.... symbolic of how I have felt for the last 16 months since losing my husband..... It has been my experience with many local support systems that once the patient is gone, the family is encouraged to deal with the "grieving" process.... but I think there is much more to it.... I think that there is a "survivor" aspect that many experts and programs have not explored. The term "survivor" is often used in referring to patients that are deemed as "NED or No Evidence of Disease" (may God bless them). However, sometimes people will say that HE had the cancer and now HE & the CANCER are both gone .... I always think when I hear that term..." where does that leave me" ..... afterall, technically I consider that my son and I are "survivors". The fact is that cancer is far more than a physical illness/debilitation.... it is a psychological mountain to climb, one which you never truly overcome..... As a caregiver, wife, best friend.... I have ALWAYS referred to when WE were diagnosed, when WE had tests done...... and although the the cancer ravaged Ahmed's body.... it ravaged too my soul, & rerouted my son's entire path to the future..... in many ways... I feel as though the cancer is still with us.... maybe not inside us physically but hanging over us like a shadow...lurking... I have come to realize that the cancer didn't really go away ..... unfortunately it will be with us our entire lives.... In some sad way.... we too are lung cancer "survivors".... Perhaps it is simply WORD PLAY but considering the fiasco I experienced this week with fellow nurses and their lack of compassion, I sincerely want to thank you Katie for not allowing family/support/caregivers..... & "survivors" to be lost somewhere in lung cancer cyberspace .... Lisa

I have to say thank you to the many responses I received from my last post (although only two remain, not sure where the rest went off to ). It did help me so much to have that support from all of you.... As you can tell, I am not very good at this.... For the most part I have stayed away from EVERTHING cancer this whole past year.... maybe i feel like if i dont have to read about it or hear about it i wont have to deal with it and it will all just go away, as if it never existed... the problem with my theory, is that there is still this huge hole, a void in my life, one that cannot be replaced and one that CANNOT be DENIED.... i wouldn't say that i am depressed, certainly not to any capacity that is prohibiting me from functioning.... our days are so jam packed that i think that is what has gotten me by until now.... the day i posted re: the terms of endearment film was sort of like the straw that broke the camel's back.... i was so lost that day.... unusually so..... in the past i would have found comfort in my husband from situations like that.... (somebody should invent cell phone service to heaven ) ..... it really did help to come back here.... everyone is so wonderful my son is amazing, it's true.... you couldn't tell that i am his #1 fan, could you ........... in addition to his own abilities, I have seen an incredible transformation in him this past year.... the first thing he said to me after his father passed (while we were on our way home from the hospital) was "Don't worry mommy, I know I can never replace Baba, but I am going to take you of you forever" it broke my heart to hear him say that, in spite of my immense pride in having a son who cared so much and was so in tune with his family, i hated the fact that he HAD to say it..... i hated the fact that he was 14 yrs old and HAD to deal with any of this.... as much as i continue to try to keep him focused on being a teenager and not a grown up.... yet....... he matures with leaps and bounds..... i wonder sometimes if his father would recognize him..... he would be so proud though... that said, we are not without the moments that when things get increasingly difficult or the pressures from school mount, etc... that he doesn't turn to me and literally start crying saying "why did baba have to die.... nothing is the same anymore..... YOU'RE not the same anymore...." sometimes i just dont know what to say ( an odd feeling for someone who never stops talking ) it breaks my heart to see him going through this.... in spite of the fact that Ahmed had started teaching him how to drive during the summer we were diagnosed, Tariq has resisted getting his permit since he turned 15 and never takes me up on my offers to let him drive in an empty parking lot or back the car out of the driveway.... i dont push him though, because i do feel as though it is part of the process.... maybe it is something he felt he shared with his father and doesnt want to let go of that.... i worry about him.... he talks to me a lot.... but i worry that he might hold back too.... this is truly a long hard process and unfortuantely you can't buy a "grief kit" to make it any easier..... or an "eraser kit" to make it all go away..... thank you again for your support.... everyone

My dear Lord, why doesn't this get any easier? It seems to get harder as time goes by... I finally got the courage about a month ago to get serious about going back to the wonderful world of work. I sent out resumes and secured a position in a local hospital. I am a RN (graduated 8 months before my husband Ahmed was diagnosed). I didn’t have much experience before we started down Lung Cancer Speedway. I left work the day Ahmed was diagnosed and haven’t been back since, in spite of the fact that he passed away nearly 16 months ago.... I have been so focused on our now 15 yr old son who was only 13 when his dad was diagnosed and 14 when he died. My son, Tariq, wants to be a filmmaker. He has been home schooled since kindergarten and started taking college courses at a local 2 yr college when he was 13. Actually, he has been involved with their college for kids program since he was 5 and started adult continuing ed classes when he was 10. But since he was 13 he has taken official adult (for credit) classes and maintains a 4.0 GPA. Because he is so exceptional, I have been focused on providing him with everything HE needs. He was accepted to New York Film Academy the year Ahmed was sick but couldn't go because life was UPSIDE~DOWN, RIGHTSIDE~UP & EVERY~WHICH~WAY... Ahmed died December 5, 2004 and life came to a halt for us... suddenly all of the family (from both sides) returned to their lives. Life seemed to be going on without us… I was very depressed and couldn’t think of anything except him. I decided that I had to pull myself out of it and be strong for my son… I had to focus on what we had and not stop my son’s life because I couldn’t let go of what I no longer had. I didn’t look at anything that talked about cancer, didn’t write about cancer, didn’t go near anything that reminded me of this ugly disease. Until now I still haven’t looked at old family movies or photos. I guess we all deal with things differently but this was how I knew I could get through this. Tariq received word in the beginning of January 2005 from New York Film Academy that he was welcome to join this year’s program. So I forced the issue with him. He didn’t want to go. I think he felt that if he were to continue his life, having fun and doing things that distracted him from his grief, that in some way he was betraying his father or his father’s memory. Perhaps this was my problem as well. So I made the arrangements for us to spend the summer in Florida. NYFA’s summer program has many satellite sites, one of which is MGM Studios @ Disney in Orlando. But we weren’t scheduled to leave until the end of May. I wasn’t sure how we would get through the next few months. I had let Tariq take the semester off from classes, so we were strictly home schooling. Looking back, I think that was a mistake, but he had been through so much. I didn’t want to put too much pressure on him. The thing is, is that I forgot how much of a positive distraction school had been through the whole ordeal. It gave us a reason to get out of the house and not let the days pass us by. During the next couple of months, my mom had been after us to move to Charlotte, NC at the end of the summer in Florida. I, at some point, relented. We left Connecticut in February and headed south. When I got to Charlotte, my mom took us out to look around at houses. I wanted to buy a house but housing was so expensive in Connecticut. We had looked at 2 bedroom condos before Ahmed passed away that were selling for $695,000. I couldn’t believe it when I arrived in Charlotte and found beautiful, large homes for less that $200,000. And brand new houses at that! I was hooked. I felt that we would be making a good move. Housing would be more affordable and we would be close to my mom and sister. They sold me. So I kept looking but perhaps there was too much to choose from or that I didn’t know the area well enough. So I returned to Connecticut with the intention of packing up the house and having the movers take everything to storage. I figured that during late spring and summer we could make a few more trips to Charlotte and eventually we would find something. We did make several more trips to Charlotte but in August we chose an apartment and kept looking around. Nothing “felt right”. Life is so hard for me now. I continue to want to turn my head to my best friend and talk to him about everything, find out what he thinks. But when I look around for him I am overwhelmed by the fact that he is gone. I get this feeling that comes over me from head to toe. It feels like the day we were diagnosed. It feels like a truck hit me. It feels like the day he died. It feels like I lost my best friend never to see him again. It feels like every inch of me is burning, twisting and turning. It feels like hell. Then I begin to cry. Finally, in November 2005, we found a townhouse that we like enough to just get it done. I thought that if we moved into our own home with lots of space (2400sf and 2 car garage) we would at last feel “settled”. I don’t know when I became naïve during this treacherous journey. I have always been known to be smart and on top of everything. Suddenly, I feel like a lost soul. I was cautiously optimistic though. I knew that at least we would be closer to family. Having my mom and sister around a lot would be a tremendous distraction. Only it didn’t happen that way. We officially have the movers move us into our new house and suddenly everyone has their own life to live. No one has time to socialize. No dinners, no lunches, no nothing. My sister is so busy with her friends and job that she never even returns calls. My mom is constantly running around shopping and socializing and has her own routine. We hardly ever see them. When we do, they are always in a rush. I commented once about it and was told, “I hope you didn’t move here for us…”. Oh my God. What have I done? I am devastated over all of this. I decided in January 2006 that if Tariq and I maintain our own routines and not depend on anyone for anything then life would stabilize somewhat. I don’t know if I am kidding myself or what, but I KNOW that I would NEVER have chosen to live in North Carolina if it hadn’t been for the desire to be closer to my family and the fact that THEY persuaded me. I know I started doing the “poor me” thing which I absolutely hate. So I started sending my resume out. I took this position in the hospital, reluctantly. I really wanted a job in mother/baby but they steered me to a cardiac floor instead. I started orientation there on Monday and by the end of the day I was in tears. I didn’t realize how difficult it was going to be for one. My “first day” back to work since Ahmed was well. Maybe I have held onto the feeling that he is still with me if I don’t change my employment status… I don’t know. I know this is all crazy. I hate the way everything has turned out. I hate North Carolina. Anyway, at the orientation, they kept having the group of new hires get into small groups and perform skits based on patient care and customer service. I didn’t know how to react. I felt tears coming to my eyes more than once. They showed a clip from “Terms of Endearment”. It was that scene where Debra Winger is dying from cancer in her hospital room and it is time for her pain meds but the nurses keep putting her mother Shirley McClaine off. They told her they would get to it in a few minutes and “sorry ma’am it’s not my patient”. Shirley McClaine gets really outraged from their responses or lack thereof and starts circling the nurses’ station screaming that it was time for the shot, “give my daughter the shot!” Well when the clip was finished, they asked the group if the mother was justified in her behavior. I was horrified that I was the only one who replied that it was. I said the nurses, for one thing, should not have been so non-chalant about the situation and that everyone reacts to situations differently. I felt that the nurses should have put themselves in the patients/families situation… I was so angry to hear the other responses. Some said she should have “contained” her anger and acted “professionally”. Some said she should have been more patient. Others said that the patient should have asked for the meds and not the mother. Their whole attitude about how the family members should be treated or are perceived was shocking. Actually, it was appalling. I felt so bad that I was “one of them”. I didn’t want to be. I hated the way Ahmed was treated during his hospital stays. I hated the way nurses are thinking. I hated feeling like I was alone in my position that the patients and families deserved kindness and understanding. That is our job as the healthcare professional to recognize that everyone deals with illness and difficult situations differently and to allow them the space to be “angry” if they needed to be. I hated the fact that I saw so much lack of compassion then and now. I hated knowing that there are nurses out there that have attitudes that they shouldn’t have and that perhaps shouldn’t even be nurses. I didn’t realize that I was still so angry. Now as if that wasn’t enough, my recruiter had misled me re: the unit I would be working on. They decided to put me on a different unit without asking me because they had a “greater need”. Oh and by the way, “your health insurance is going to cost double and cover half of what I told you because I wasn’t aware of the new plans”. Needless to say, at the end of the day, I decided not to take the position and began my search over again. I have never, ever done that before and felt as though I was copping out. But it just didn’t feel right. Yesterday, I spoke with a recruiter for a home care agency and have an interview with them tomorrow. I think I need to stick to homecare for now. That is what I was doing before we were diagnosed. It is really a rewarding position. You can act as patient advocate and you really feel like you make a difference. Maybe if I fight for my patients, it will be therapeutic for me. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I thought this would get easier…. but it doesn’t… it just gets harder.

My dear Lord, why doesn't this get any easier? It seems to get harder as time goes by... I finally got the courage about a month ago to get serious about going back to the wonderful world of work. I sent out resumes and secured a position in a local hospital. I am a RN (graduated 8 months before my husband Ahmed was diagnosed). I didn’t have much experience before we started down Lung Cancer Speedway. I left work the day Ahmed was diagnosed and haven’t been back since, in spite of the fact that he passed away nearly 16 months ago.... I have been so focused on our now 15 yr old son who was only 13 when his dad was diagnosed and 14 when he died. My son, Tariq, wants to be a filmmaker. He has been home schooled since kindergarten and started taking college courses at a local 2 yr college when he was 13. Actually, he has been involved with their college for kids program since he was 5 and started adult continuing ed classes when he was 10. But since he was 13 he has taken official adult (for credit) classes and maintains a 4.0 GPA. Because he is so exceptional, I have been focused on providing him with everything HE needs. He was accepted to New York Film Academy the year Ahmed was sick but couldn't go because life was UPSIDE~DOWN, RIGHTSIDE~UP & EVERY~WHICH~WAY... Ahmed died December 5, 2004 and life came to a halt for us... suddenly all of the family (from both sides) returned to their lives. Life seemed to be going on without us… I was very depressed and couldn’t think of anything except him. I decided that I had to pull myself out of it and be strong for my son… I had to focus on what we had and not stop my son’s life because I couldn’t let go of what I no longer had. I didn’t look at anything that talked about cancer, didn’t write about cancer, didn’t go near anything that reminded me of this ugly disease. Until now I still haven’t looked at old family movies or photos. I guess we all deal with things differently but this was how I knew I could get through this. Tariq received word in the beginning of January 2005 from New York Film Academy that he was welcome to join this year’s program. So I forced the issue with him. He didn’t want to go. I think he felt that if he were to continue his life, having fun and doing things that distracted him from his grief, that in some way he was betraying his father or his father’s memory. Perhaps this was my problem as well. So I made the arrangements for us to spend the summer in Florida. NYFA’s summer program has many satellite sites, one of which is MGM Studios @ Disney in Orlando. But we weren’t scheduled to leave until the end of May. I wasn’t sure how we would get through the next few months. I had let Tariq take the semester off from classes, so we were strictly home schooling. Looking back, I think that was a mistake, but he had been through so much. I didn’t want to put too much pressure on him. The thing is, is that I forgot how much of a positive distraction school had been through the whole ordeal. It gave us a reason to get out of the house and not let the days pass us by. During the next couple of months, my mom had been after us to move to Charlotte, NC at the end of the summer in Florida. I, at some point, relented. We left Connecticut in February and headed south. When I got to Charlotte, my mom took us out to look around at houses. I wanted to buy a house but housing was so expensive in Connecticut. We had looked at 2 bedroom condos before Ahmed passed away that were selling for $695,000. I couldn’t believe it when I arrived in Charlotte and found beautiful, large homes for less that $200,000. And brand new houses at that! I was hooked. I felt that we would be making a good move. Housing would be more affordable and we would be close to my mom and sister. They sold me. So I kept looking but perhaps there was too much to choose from or that I didn’t know the area well enough. So I returned to Connecticut with the intention of packing up the house and having the movers take everything to storage. I figured that during late spring and summer we could make a few more trips to Charlotte and eventually we would find something. We did make several more trips to Charlotte but in August we chose an apartment and kept looking around. Nothing “felt right”. Life is so hard for me now. I continue to want to turn my head to my best friend and talk to him about everything, find out what he thinks. But when I look around for him I am overwhelmed by the fact that he is gone. I get this feeling that comes over me from head to toe. It feels like the day we were diagnosed. It feels like a truck hit me. It feels like the day he died. It feels like I lost my best friend never to see him again. It feels like every inch of me is burning, twisting and turning. It feels like hell. Then I begin to cry. Finally, in November 2005, we found a townhouse that we like enough to just get it done. I thought that if we moved into our own home with lots of space (2400sf and 2 car garage) we would at last feel “settled”. I don’t know when I became naïve during this treacherous journey. I have always been known to be smart and on top of everything. Suddenly, I feel like a lost soul. I was cautiously optimistic though. I knew that at least we would be closer to family. Having my mom and sister around a lot would be a tremendous distraction. Only it didn’t happen that way. We officially have the movers move us into our new house and suddenly everyone has their own life to live. No one has time to socialize. No dinners, no lunches, no nothing. My sister is so busy with her friends and job that she never even returns calls. My mom is constantly running around shopping and socializing and has her own routine. We hardly ever see them. When we do, they are always in a rush. I commented once about it and was told, “I hope you didn’t move here for us…”. Oh my God. What have I done? I am devastated over all of this. I decided in January 2006 that if Tariq and I maintain our own routines and not depend on anyone for anything then life would stabilize somewhat. I don’t know if I am kidding myself or what, but I KNOW that I would NEVER have chosen to live in North Carolina if it hadn’t been for the desire to be closer to my family and the fact that THEY persuaded me. I know I started doing the “poor me” thing which I absolutely hate. So I started sending my resume out. I took this position in the hospital, reluctantly. I really wanted a job in mother/baby but they steered me to a cardiac floor instead. I started orientation there on Monday and by the end of the day I was in tears. I didn’t realize how difficult it was going to be for one. My “first day” back to work since Ahmed was well. Maybe I have held onto the feeling that he is still with me if I don’t change my employment status… I don’t know. I know this is all crazy. I hate the way everything has turned out. I hate North Carolina. Anyway, at the orientation, they kept having the group of new hires get into small groups and perform skits based on patient care and customer service. I didn’t know how to react. I felt tears coming to my eyes more than once. They showed a clip from “Terms of Endearment”. It was that scene where Debra Winger is dying from cancer in her hospital room and it is time for her pain meds but the nurses keep putting her mother Shirley McClaine off. They told her they would get to it in a few minutes and “sorry ma’am it’s not my patient”. Shirley McClaine gets really outraged from their responses or lack thereof and starts circling the nurses’ station screaming that it was time for the shot, “give my daughter the shot!” Well when the clip was finished, they asked the group if the mother was justified in her behavior. I was horrified that I was the only one who replied that it was. I said the nurses, for one thing, should not have been so non-chalant about the situation and that everyone reacts to situations differently. I felt that the nurses should have put themselves in the patients/families situation… I was so angry to hear the other responses. Some said she should have “contained” her anger and acted “professionally”. Some said she should have been more patient. Others said that the patient should have asked for the meds and not the mother. Their whole attitude about how the family members should be treated or are perceived was shocking. Actually, it was appalling. I felt so bad that I was “one of them”. I didn’t want to be. I hated the way Ahmed was treated during his hospital stays. I hated the way nurses are thinking. I hated feeling like I was alone in my position that the patients and families deserved kindness and understanding. That is our job as the healthcare professional to recognize that everyone deals with illness and difficult situations differently and to allow them the space to be “angry” if they needed to be. I hated the fact that I saw so much lack of compassion then and now. I hated knowing that there are nurses out there that have attitudes that they shouldn’t have and that perhaps shouldn’t even be nurses. I didn’t realize that I was still so angry. Now as if that wasn’t enough, my recruiter had misled me re: the unit I would be working on. They decided to put me on a different unit without asking me because they had a “greater need”. Oh and by the way, “your health insurance is going to cost double and cover half of what I told you because I wasn’t aware of the new plans”. Needless to say, at the end of the day, I decided not to take the position and began my search over again. I have never, ever done that before and felt as though I was copping out. But it just didn’t feel right. Yesterday, I spoke with a recruiter for a home care agency and have an interview with them tomorrow. I think I need to stick to homecare for now. That is what I was doing before we were diagnosed. It is really a rewarding position. You can act as patient advocate and you really feel like you make a difference. Maybe if I fight for my patients, it will be therapeutic for me. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I thought this would get easier…. but it doesn’t… it just gets harder.

Ok, now you guys have got me thinking...... I want to ask more survey questions but I want to keep these questions separated from the other survey. I know this is asking alot from everyone but the info will be put to good use. If you are uncomfortable discussing your situation here, please feel free to PM or email me for a copy of the survey and you can email it back. Thanks in Advance. PLEASE REMEMBER - I as much as anyone know how valuable LCSC is and has been, however, I am trying to determine what ELSE is out there and ALSO HOW people were fortunate enough to find resources such as LCSC. Mostly the questions below are referring to you/your community locally. 1> How did you find LCSC? PLEASE EXPLAIN 2> When you were diagnosed what kind of info about LC were you given (nothing, brochure, counseling, books, video/dvd, resource lists)? Who provided you with this info? 3> What is largest city closest to you? Is there a live support group specific to LC for patients? caregivers? family/children of patients? 4> Where and how were you diagnosed? Who told you of your diagnosis? 5> What do you think could have been done differently/better (re: your dignosis) and how you were told/educated about LC? 6> How many other Lung Cancer patients have you met face to face in your community through MD/hospital, etc...? 7> How many < Lung Cancer > FUNDRAISERS have you seen/heard about? Please be specific as to what they are and where the organization is? Names, address, telephone, website & brief info would be great? 8> Have you had difficult getting TREATMENT or MEDICATION because of LACK OF MONEY or LACK of INFORMATION? If so, please explain in detail. 9> Were there treatments available to you elsewhere in the country but you were unable to travel due to cost or difficulties related to your illness? 10> Do you have enough help at home? Please explain re: family/spouse/friends/nurse/CNA/other.... 11> What types of things would make you/your home more comfortable with relation to your LC? 12> What has been your most difficult experience throughout this ordeal (OTHER THAN DIAGNOSIS) ?

Hello, I would like to take a poll. My 41yo husband passed away from this dreadful disease on Dec 5, 2004. I haven't posted here since about then.... it has been a tough road for our son and me.... but we ARE still here.. The reason for my poll is that I want to start a foundation in my husband's name and I would like it to serve the best purpose possible. So the question is: If you could dream up any type of foundation or ANYTHING that you think might have helped you SOMEHOW get through this a little easier (SOMETHING THAT DOESNT EXIST OR IS HARD TO FIND), what would it be? Think about what your personal and family needs have been as you have made your way through this fight.... what would make it better? was there info you needed but didnt get? Were there Treatments you were denied because of lack of money. Are you finding enough info from legitimate sources re: lung cancer diagnosis and treatments...... I mean ANYTHING you can think of will be of great help to me..... What do you wish was out there but isnt or isnt easy to find.... Thanks in advance for you input.... My best wishes & regards to all of you....I know first hand how painful this is. Please give me serious answers, I know we all would wish for a cure, but I am looking for some guidance to begin this foundation in my husband's loving memory. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WITH EVERY DIFFICULTY ~ THERE IS RELIEF ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that this is probably the wrong place to post this but I could not bring myself to post anywhere but where I usually do. I appologize in advance. Last Sunday evening I lost my best friend in this world. The love of my life and the wonderful father of our son slipped away from us. I am devasted. My heart feels as thought it has been torn away and continues to ache. I wanted to let all those who have supported us on this incredibly short and difficult journey know why I have not posted and to quickly thank everyone for your continued prayers. Please understand that I am barely able to type this and when I feel better I will return to share more with you..... I love you so much Ahmed... you have no idea how much Tariq and I are missing you..... I know you didn't want to leave us especially this way.... You will NEVER leave my heart, thoughts, and prayers. May Allah bless you and take you to heaven... May this life pass quickly for us so that we may all be together again.... All my love forever......Lisa The following is an excerpt from the Holy Qur'an Sura Inshirah (The Expansion) Chapter 94, Part 1-8 In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 1. Have We not expanded thee thy chest? 2. And removed from thee thy burden 3. The which did gall thy back? 4. And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)? 5. So, verily, with every difficulty there is relief : 6. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. 7. Therefore, when thou are free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard. 8. And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention. Remembering Ahmed M. Belal June 25, 1962 - December 5, 2005 ........................................................................................................

dear margaret, i was thinking about you all weekend... hope everything gets better for you and your husband.... glad you got him to the hospital.... sending prayers your way WITH EVERY DIFFICULTY ~ THERE IS RELIEF.....Lisa

Thank God for every second we have together! Have a very Happy Thanksgiving EVERYONE !!!! WITH EVERY DIFFICULTY - THERE IS RELIEF ........ Lisa

Dear Val, I am so sorry you have the need to be a part of this group. However, that said, this is the best group of people you will find... No matter how long and hard you search the net for answers, information and support, you won't find another support system that can equal the love, understanding, prayers and all around inspirational spirit that you will experience from ALL of the individuals here. This is an incredible group....and if you continue to come here you will see for yourself.... when you drop off the board for a while, they come looking for you! how's that for an extended family??!!?? Welcome and best wishes and prayers for you and your family. WITH EVERY DIFFICULT ~ THERE IS RELIEF..............Lisa