what to do?

[berisa]

These few weeks, my Dad's emotion is unstable. He keeps on working and restless. He cannot fall into sleep. He is suffered. His temper become very worse and he just does what he thinks is right. Totally ignore our advices, then I brought him to the Onco and had the MRI brain scan, no cancer spread.

Then we brought him to the psychiartrist, the psychiartrist said he is fine, have minimal mental problem that will be resolved by meeting him several times. One day after, we brought him to see the Chinese Herbalist, the Herbalist said trying best not to take too much medicine that this will intefere his SYSTEM, from his experience, what happens on my Dad is because the spread to the brain, in their point of view, several cell reached the brain that MRI cannot detect it.

Then we try to follow the Herbalist's opinion not to take so many pills, this was agreed by my dad. But these few days, he took the pills and we found it. He scolded us and said "Do you want me to die? I am restless!" I am afraid that he will rely on these medicine....

My mum said when she accompany with my dad having chemo, she asked other patients' family about will the chemo drug affect their emotions? They said, many of them are like my dad, always have a very very BAD temper. I had few arguments with him. You know, during these few weeks he lived with me, my mental is heavily affected. He is a rush guy, hot temper guy, keep walking around you. Yesterday night I cried and left my house for a while, I don't know why, I ask GOD, why this happen? He is just retired for 2 years, and this 2 years I worked and studied at nightime and spent very little time be with them before he was dx. I have examinations for my last semester in this coming two weeks. I am very tired to take care of him. My mum is a reactive person, she never do anything on her initiative.

Yesterday night, I was angry because he said many rude words to me and hesitated and blamed me, he said, I dont know what is happening on him, he needs the pills badly, and blame me not let him to take it. Scold me that I want him to die, maybe when he would die, I will cry for only one tear. BLA BLA BLA....... I am not that person he said and I do every best I could, afterwards I cried and really want to give up and think DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, YOU ARE THE PATIENT!! YOU HAVE YOUR OWN CHOICE. When I came home, my dad was left and went back to his home. My mum followed.

In fact, I try to do for the best for him. He needs the immediate ease. I just wonder that should I let him do whatever he wants, relationship is the first priority??? I don't know.

[Fresca]

I am sorry to hear about your dilema. Its a very hard time. I really don't have to much advice about the situation. I just pray that he will finally find some comfort. He does need to rest, so maybe the pills will help him to get the rest he needs. I also pray you will find some wisdom to help your dad through this trying time. Sometimes we have to let them do what they want. It makes them comfortable, and that always helps in the healing process.

I will pray for you. God bless you.

Rana

[Don Wood]

Berisa, your dad is going through a lot and, yes, it will affect his emotions. It is a roller coaster ride, this disease. A combination of the disease, chemo and medications can cause big mood swings. Have patience with him. He is used to being the provider and now he has to be the receiver -- very hard. Show him your constant love and forgive him his temper and mistakes. I would not argue with him if it upsets him. Try to be loving and firm, but back off when he gets riled. Blessings to you and the family. Don

[berisa]

Dear Rana & Don

Thank you for your message and encouragement. I will not give him up.