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Amy P

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In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated

the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,

green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man

and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy

Kreme Donuts.

And Satan said, "You want Chocolate with that?"

And Man said "Yeah,".

And Woman said, "And another one with sprinkles."

And they gained 10 pounds. And

Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure

that Man found so fair. Satan brought forth white flour from

the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined

them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 24.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented

Thousand-Island Dressing, Buttery croutons and garlic toast on the


And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive

oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish

and chicken-fried Steak so big it needed its own platter. Hilltop

Steak House thrived! And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake,"

and said "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and

named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose those

extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control

so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light

and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming

with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced

the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.

And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and

still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and

its 99-cent double Cheeseburger. Then said "You want fries with that?"

And Man replied, "Yeah! And super size 'em."

And Satan said "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

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