Clever Definitions

[betplace]

Once again, The Washington Post has published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate word meanings.

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have

gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly

answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you

are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a

proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish

expressions.

14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die your Soul

goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts

[Nushka]

Cute Betty.

Nina

[cindi o'h]

thanks, Betty,

these are really funny...!

Cindi o'h