Mr Ry Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 I really like number 1, 8, and 11. > 1. "Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. > Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery > and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they > might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, > "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than > be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Babe Ruth > > 2. "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the > morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." ~ Lyndon > B. Johnson > > 3. "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time > with his fools." ~ Ernest Hemingway > > 4. "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ > Paul Hornung > > 5. "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." > ~ H. L. Mencken > > 6. "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. > When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go > to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ George > Bernard Shaw > > 7. "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ > Benjamin Franklin > > 8. "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of > mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine > invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ > Dave Barry > > 9. BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE have sex since 3000 B.C.! ~ W. C. Fields > > 10. Remember "I"! before "E", except in Budweiser. ~ Professor Irwin > Corey > > 11. To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in > a can! ~ Leo Durocher > > 12. One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" > to his buddy Norm: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of > buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the > herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that > are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a > whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps > improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the > same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest > brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain > cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells > first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker > brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! > That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 This calls for a toast!! Repeat after me as Fast As You Can. ( HERE'S TO IT TO DO IT, IF YOU DON'T GET TO IT TO DO IT, AND DON'T DO IT,YOU WON'T GET TO IT TO DO IT AGAIN ). Now,if you said that really fast and stuttered or stammered then you need another Bud Lite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 I've seen one on a T-shirt that was missed: BEER: Helping white guys dance since 3000 B.C. My favorite to watch is the famous "frog in a blender" move... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 What month is beer joke month?? What is February's theme Frank? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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