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One to go with the open bar ...

Mr Ry

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I really like number 1, 8, and 11.

> 1. "Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.

> Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery

> and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they

> might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think,

> "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than

> be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Babe Ruth


> 2. "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the

> morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." ~ Lyndon

> B. Johnson


> 3. "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time

> with his fools." ~ Ernest Hemingway


> 4. "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~

> Paul Hornung


> 5. "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

> ~ H. L. Mencken


> 6. "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

> When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go

> to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ George

> Bernard Shaw


> 7. "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~

> Benjamin Franklin


> 8. "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of

> mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine

> invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~

> Dave Barry


> 9. BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE have sex since 3000 B.C.! ~ W. C. Fields


> 10. Remember "I"! before "E", except in Budweiser. ~ Professor Irwin

> Corey


> 11. To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in

> a can! ~ Leo Durocher


> 12. One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory"

> to his buddy Norm: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of

> buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the

> herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that

> are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a

> whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps

> improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the

> same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest

> brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain

> cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells

> first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker

> brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!

> That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

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