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Hard question, seeking answers


lilyjohn

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I am seeking answers to a question that has haunted me sense Johnny's death. I have read so much about people who are dying and those who have had near death experiences. There is so much evidence to support that there is another life after this one. I have been lucky enough to have had many extra ordinary experiences sense Johnny's death but still I have doubts. I just have to have something that I can add to my experiences to hold on to.

How many people have witnessed their loved one talking to departed loved ones or talking about the light or having to go? Has it given you some sense of peace and did you feel that it gave your loved one peace?

Some scientists say that people have those experiences because of the drugs they are on yet I saw just the oposite.

When someone dies a natural death even when given drugs in the last stages of death they show those signs hours, days and sometimes weeks before. I know that often helps the ones left behind and I think it must help the one who is dying to face death without so much fear.

Johnny displayed none of those things. Not days before or even the hours before. I feel like either the drugs or because it was not his natural time to die cheated me out of the experience and the peace that goes with it. Even worse I wonder if Johnny was cheated of it too :!:

Did he get to experience those things at the end when he was in a drug induced coma? Could they have been speeded up because of that or did he miss them altogether?

I know this sounds crazy but it has haunted me for over two years. Maybe some how if I hear about others who witnessed those things it will help me accept that the things I have experienced sense then are real. It is so hard to lose someone you love so much but wondering how they are and needing to know that they don't just cease to exist is pure torment. That is the first question that came to my mind and the one that I need to know the answer to the most.

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I don't have much that will be helpful here. Becky went from being conscious and fully alert to unconcious in a matter of minutes, and there was too much stress and running around going on then. After she lost consciousness, she responded to my voice only. She always looked in my direction when I spoke, though she did not do that for either of her parents.

But one of my best friends reported to me a vision of Becky and a mutual friend about two weeks later. It was wordless, but Dennis said he had the sense that the message was for me but that I was too deeply grieving to receive it directly. And the message was that she was not alone and not suffering. I have taken a lot of solace in that this last year.

Curtis

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My dad was not conscious when he died, although he responded to my talking or sobbing and I swear I felt his hand move many times in my hand.

He was breathing with his mouth open for the last few days, which wasn't odd because of sinuses, dad always did breathe with his mouth open alittle. It has gotten to the point that I was using ice, or a wet rag and chapstick on his lips and mouth so that he didn't get dry. He didn't close his mouth for three full days.

The very minute that he died (we had no clue what was happening) he CLOSED his mouth, and smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

It took my breath away. He looked like he was about to wake up from a really nice dream! I was so in awe of what was happening, it wasn't until his smile relaxed and his lips were parted slightly again that we realized that he had stopped breathing.

I believe what he saw was beautiful. I believe he was happy to go into the afterlife and that smile was the greatest comforting gift he could have given us.

I don't know anything about this subject really- or have any answers that can comfort or confirm one way or the other on this topic- I just know that there must be more than this life- I believe there is an afterlife-- no matter how we get there- and it will be great.

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I also wonder these things. Just before Timmy left us his eyes were partially open and kind of glazed over. There was no expression from him of seeing the light, etc. It was I who was doing all the talking telling him the names of all our family who he was going to be with. And then he passed very quietly without our really realizing it.

As I think of it, I was reminded of how a baby's eyes look right at birth… the same glazed look. I see a big relationship between the process of being born and that of dying and I am guessing that we all go back to where we came from in the first place. A place pulsing with great energies. Timmy's passing away appeared to me to be just the opposite of being born into life. Quite a miracle to me, as it happends to all of us.

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My grandmother had a near death experience a zillion or so years ago (she's 85 and she was a young teen when it happened). She had a rough life, her mother was left alone with her and her younger (by ten years) sister. Cars were something that other people had, my great-grandmother drove a team of plow horses and a wagon...she also wore a steel corset because that's what women did back then.

The small family of women was heading into town for some errand or another and when crossing a bridge, they were hit by lightening. My grandmother tells of seeing a bright light and many people she knew who had passed previously. As she drew closer to the light and the people, they kept telling her to go back, it wasn't her time yet.... My great-grandmother was burned and scarred by her corset, but they all lived.

My grandfather died of cancer and old age (he was almost 90) the year I was diagnosed. He was always my favorite, a very kind and gentle soul. Not a religous man, a Godly man. He didn't preach it, he lived it. When I took my husband to a medium for his birthday present, the first one to step up to talk was my grampa. He said he was no longer in pain, described some oddities that occured at his funeral (no way the medium could know about any of that beforehand) and that he came to me in my dreams - and he had been, I had had some of the most vivid dreams of him soon after he died. Back to the summers of my childhood and a great man who always had time for a bike ride on the back roads....

...and then, Mark got his time with his family.

So, Lily, yes, I believe. It helped me with many of the fears I had when first diagnosed, because I have always wondered exactly WHERE we go when we die - and truly, I believe we go nowhere yet we go everywhere...

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My husband had "visions" probably the last three days. Only a little at first but that last day he had about one foot somewhere else. What he saw did not frighten him, he kind of accepted that there were children flying - just commenting. It could have been real, it could have been lack of oxygen?? or mental state. I want it to be real but I am not 100% convinced.

So I am doing a strange thing - I am going to talk with a medium next week. Maybe I am going to waste some money, if so, she has a child and family, not a total waste of money. Maybe I am going to find out for sure. I sure do hope so. If I could just be sure, I think I could let go more.

I often think of you. I am sorry this is still such a worry for you. I am trying myself, in most ways, to accept, let it go. I think I have far to go on that. Margaret

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