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one month today


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It is so hard to believe that it is one month today that my father passed away. The time is flying by and I still expect to see him every day when I go to my parent's house. The pain and emptiness is worse then when he passed. I guess reality is hitting. Most of the time I feel as though i am just going through the day to day process. There has not been a single day that I have not cried. Does it ever get easier. Even when my 19 month old learns something new, I sit there going my father should be teaching him this as he did with my 3 year old. That was the one good thing that came out of him being ill. He could no longer work so he had no other choice but to watch my now 3 year old and now 19 month so I could return to work when each was 6 weeks old. It is so unfair that my children will probably not remember their grandfather and his love for them. Today was especially hard for my mother who at 55 is alone after being with my father since she was 15 married at 16 and came to America alone with her new husband. I cannot begin to understand her pain and grief. It all stinks. Why must we all go through so much pain and hurt just to love and be loved. Thank you all for letting me vent and having this site, because you all understand more than anyone and because I cannot talk to my father any more and I try not to express my pain and sorrow to my mother since she has so much of her own. I act strong for her so as to not worry her, but it is sooooooo hard and painful. Thank you all just for being you and here.

god bless all of you and your families.


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Hello Cathy,

I am so very sorry about your dad and I am sending you prayers for strength and peace. It does get easier, with time, and the pain does dull. I wish there were words to help ease this for you, but as we all know, there really are none that can do that.

Sending much love and prayers,


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I won't say that it gets easier... I think you just find a place for the pain--where it can be there and not take over your whole being. Where you can coexist with the grief, acknowledge it, but still focus on your now.

At one month things are still very fresh. Be gentle with yourself.

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