End of Life issues

[aurora06]

I know this is a very difficult topic for most people. It is only after someone has passed on that we can reflect on what occurred during the end of their life. In my case, mom. I still find it hard to know how she seemed to accept things toward the end so gracefully while I and the rest of the family were in panic not really knowing what was going on because everything was happening so fast. Several months after she passed I used imagery and thought about a very pretty world where everything consisted of the color of different gems and that there is a magnificent world beyond the one we know now. I would recommend reading the book "Final Gifts" for anyone who wants to understand some of the end of life issues our loved ones face and we will all face at some time. Any thoughts are welcomed.

[eppie]

Thanks for posting Aurora.

Everyone has their own individual way of coming to terms with the end of life issues.

I am proud my dad prepared us years in advance by having a living willl and DNR directives.

He assigned us jobs.

Mine was to "pull the Plug"

Crude as that sounds it sort of described his whole attitude about the issue.

If he can't live with quality and dignity...

When it was time to "go" we told him t go sit in his recliner at home that none of this needed to matter to him anymore. That is where I hope he went while his body continued to shut down with the help of the morphine and atavan.

Much love,

Eppie

[ztweb]

Wow. Interesting post...plan to get the book.

God bless,

jen

[Fall54]

I have read final gifts while my Brother was sick and it helped me so much! Anyone that has not read this book, do you're self a favor and get the book! I bought a few copies and sent one to my Mother and another Brother and Sister to have. I wouldnt give up my copy!! Thanks for letting people know about this awesome book!

God Bless you,

Jane

[aurora06]

Thanks to all for the replies as I am still trying to understand how people manage knowing that their time is limited. Mom wasn't on pain med or any med that I can think of that wd account for the peaceful acceptance that she seemed to have. Fortunately she wasn't in pain but still had the trouble swallowing and I guess didn't feel like eating anyway. We didn't know at the time people just don't feel like eating. I found this out only after much reading about how the body is while it is "shutting down."

Eppie, your dads comment about pulling the plug doesn't sound crude at all. My mother's was to give her "a shot". Of course she knew that couldn't happen but that was her feeling about things. Her CA was advanced by the time of dx. and she chose no tx. (the drs were going back and forth about tx anyway so we were on that rollercoaster).

I thought about gems (not that I can afford them) since they come in very pretty colors and reflect light. In my image the sky was the color of rose quartz with moonstone clouds and dotted with ruby and garnet. I pictured a larger mountain made of onyx with tiny diamonds rolling down and a smaller mountain made of jade and dotted with emeralds. A gem color for the entire background hasn't come to mind yet. You can use any imagery that gives you a sense of peace and helps you know that your loved one is in a much better place. (by the way, I was clear-headed when I thought this, if you know what I mean).

Another excellent book is "Handbook for Mortals".

[eppie]

I will look fro both these books.

As for the gems, I am thinking about that for me. My family my object but hey, it's my death too.

(Sorry I am being flip and and the humor is intended but may have floppped.)

I like diamonds, what can i say?