Ann Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Get Ready To Laugh A Lot!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went fishing. <><><><><><><><><><><><><> A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out." <><><><><><><><><><><><><> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. <><><><><><><><><><><><><> A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy." <><><><><><><><><><><><> ><><><><><><><><><><><><><> A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." <><><><>< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharonjo Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Ann, Very funny! Made my day! Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teresag Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 As a descendant of Polish immigrants, I can only say, "POCIESZNY!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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